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Sleep

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Original poster

My 4 month old baby only wants to feed at night!

26 replies

Missingcaffeine · 13/01/2015 16:59

I have a 4 month old baby who is going long periods in the day without feeding - up to 9 hours, but then wakes every 1-2 hours at night - usually wanting to feed. He is really hungry at night - not surprising really as he is not eating in the day. He has been sleeping poorly for the last month, which started with an upset tummy, then his reflux seemed to flare up, then Christmas was hectic. He is definitely reluctant to feed when there are distractions, but I've tried feeding him in a darkened room which helps but doesn't always have success (like today it failed). I feel that his reflux is currently under control with Ranitidine, so I don't think it is this. I realise an element of this might be a growth spurt/4 month sleep regression - but the lack of day feeding really worries me. If I try to delay the feeds at night when he is hungry, he will just cry and there is no consoling him, so that isn't going to work. So today he has fed at 11.30am and that is it since 3.30am apart from a few gulps. Any ideas?!

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Domino51 · 13/01/2015 18:55

What is he doing during the day? Is he sleeping?

Quitelikely · 13/01/2015 18:58

Was it since he started reflux meds that he stopped feeding during the day?

Quitelikely · 13/01/2015 18:58

How is his weight?

Original poster

Missingcaffeine · 13/01/2015 19:11

He is gaining weight well following 50th percentile. He doesn't nap well at all. I usually get 3 naps a day out of him, but they are rarely longer than 30mins unless I'm car or pram. It's a real struggle to get him to nap.
He started Ranitidine back in Oct which helped, then we thought his reflux was better but he got worse again when we stopped it so we got Gaviscon in Nov as we didn't like the list of potential side effects with Ranitidine. The Gaviscon sometimes worked, but reflux was getting worse so restarted Ranitidine just before Christmas.

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Original poster

Missingcaffeine · 13/01/2015 19:11

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Original poster

Missingcaffeine · 13/01/2015 19:15

Accidentally posted twice from my phone. Wanted to add that I don't see any correlation between his daytime nursing strike and the reflux meds. If anything initially I thought he was feeding better with the Ranitidine but it's this last 2.5 weeks he has had days where he doesn't want to feed in day, and seems to be getting worse. I thought it was due to distractions initially so the last few days I decided to stay close to home so I can feed in silence at home, but this has made no difference.

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Domino51 · 13/01/2015 19:17

The only thing I can think of to suggest is that you try and feed him every two hours during the day, but I don't know if that would be a problem with the medication. We managed our youngest's reflux with thicker milk so I didn't have to go down the medication route. But feeding every two hours sorted my middle child when she was being funny with sleep at a few weeks.

Original poster

Missingcaffeine · 13/01/2015 19:24

Thank you Domino.
I've been trying to offer every 30mins or so when it's been 3 hours or more, but he cries or pushes away when I offer him the breast, so I don't force it and just keep trying every so often.

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museumum · 13/01/2015 19:27

Are you bf? My ds became a nightmare at daytime feeding at 3mo when he became more aware of his world. I had to feed him as soon as he woke from a nap or in the morning while still dozy. The HV recommended I try this and it worked brilliantly but did mean I had to be hovering near him to get him soon as he woke, and it had to be somewhere calm and unstimulating.

museumum · 13/01/2015 19:29

I then read and followed the "90 min slerp solution" to get him to nap more - this says there's a sleepy window 90mins after they last woke - and so we ended up in a sleep, eat, awake, sleep again routine which worked for us till weaning.

ocelot41 · 13/01/2015 19:38

This is really common with babies who have reflux. Being semi-sleepy means that experience less pain when feeding and even when the pain is under control, they may still prefer to feed then because that are relaxed rather than anxious. Plus it becomes a habit. DS did this a lot and it just about killed me.

If you are at 4 months though you are on the cusp of introducing solids which helped SO much for us. Go gradually and if your DC isn't hungry enough, cut down one night feed at a time so the calorific intake switches to daytime without your baby being in too much distress. Many refluxy babies are super easy to wean though because they haven't especially enjoyed milk feeds and enjoy the sensation of being able to be full without acid-y pains and/or being sick. The first times my little boy smiled and laughed were after his first solid feeds - he just thought it was great!

Slowly nixing the night feeds when almost all his calories had been consumed at night took much longer for us (until about 9 months) and lots and lots of patience. Tough when you are so sleep deprived already!

Original poster

Missingcaffeine · 14/01/2015 04:31

Thank you for your replies.

My gut feeling is that my baby associates feeding with (reflux) pain and so when he is awake and alert he doesn't want to feed, but somehow he doesn't seem as bothered when he is sleepy. I have found feeding him when he is sleepy in the day the best way of getting him to feed - his two daytime feeds yesterday were both at nap times and he almost slept through the feeds.

It hard as I can't be sure when he has reflux anymore, and I feel guilty giving him the reflux meds, particularly as both his grandmothers think it's all in my head and I can see the look of disapproval every time I mention his reflux. My mum tells me to leave him crying and says I spoil him! (I know, I know! Don't worry I am not about to follow her advice). Like now, he woke hungry (4am), started feeding nicely, broke off mid feed crying and I can't lie him flat as he screams. He is happy upright with me holding him. I've burped him well - he doesn't have much to burp ever and and case now. It's got to be reflux right? He is quite happy sat up in his bouncer. I've just made up some Gaviscon for him and I reckon in about 30 mins I'll be able to lie him in his crib (head end raised slightly).

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Original poster

Missingcaffeine · 14/01/2015 04:34

Forgot to add, yes I'm exclusively breast feeding. And he has just fallen asleep in his bouncer in an upright position. I'd leave him there but the health visitor has told me he might block off his windpipe (I can't see how at 4 months with good head control) so I'm petrified about letting him sleep there if I'm not watching him!

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ocelot41 · 14/01/2015 06:25

4 months is meant to be the time when reflux is at it's worst. Hang in there Missing, you are doing the best you can for a sick little DC. As soon as you are onto more solids and DC can sit upright a bit things should start easing some more. This whole period is just bonkers-making though. I get THE RAGE when I can't sleep!

ocelot41 · 14/01/2015 06:26

One thing that helped (a bit) for us was a Safe T sling which allows you to raise the bed head quite a bit more without them skeetering down the bottom. Worth a try?

Original poster

Missingcaffeine · 14/01/2015 07:00

Thanks ocelot. I think it is a habit now that I'm going to struggle to break, so may have to hang on until he weans and sits up! It is sending me bonkers - especially as he doesn't nap long enough in the day for me to nap. I'm constantly looking forward to my next sleep rather than enjoying my baby properly. I constantly feel knackered and like every little thing is an effort. I'll look into the Safe T sling.

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ocelot41 · 14/01/2015 07:41

I remember that feeling very well. It is very, very hard. We gradually started to reduce night feeds around five months, at the same time as gradually increasing solids during the day. But slowly, slowly until by 8 months most of his calirific intake waa solids.

Feeds had gone up to 6 or more times a night at around 4 months and I was so tired I was seeing things esp because, like you, my baby slept in 20 min bursts during the day so there was no chance of a nap for me.

He was also very, very teary when awake. Its enough to break the toughest of us. Do you have anyone around to support you?

HappyAsASandboy · 14/01/2015 07:55

I had a similar situation with refluxy 4-month old twins.

It didn't last for long (about 6 weeks?) but I think I helped to break the habit by going right back to basics for a few days. We stayed in bed, minimal clothes, dim lights, nursery rhymes for entertainment not telly etc and they fed for something to do!

I think by 4 months, we're recovered from birth, have found some new friends, are confident getting out and about etc, and so we expect our still-new babies to keep up. Sometimes a period of quiet basic bonding is needed again :)

Original poster

Missingcaffeine · 15/01/2015 04:41

Thank you for sharing your experiences.

I am lucky in that my parents are only an hours drive away, and my dad is retired, so I've come up here for the night so that I can nap in the day while dad keeps an eye on baby. It's harder for me to do things like skin to skin here, as feel I need to be sociable, but at least I'm keeping my sanity.

My partner is very supportive but travels a lot with work often including long drives so he isn't able to help much in the week as it wouldn't be safe. He helps at the weekends but was so tired after one night with our baby we ended up in a car crash last weekend - luckily only about 20mph and nobody hurt - just my new car is pretty battered.

So today/yesterday my baby fed only twice - at midday and 7pm! He had a few gulps inbetween but then started crying and stopped. Prior to this his last feed was 4am. So he went 8 hours, then 7 hours!
Tonight he fed 7pm, 9.30pm, 11.30pm, 1am, 2am, 3am. I've only just got him back to sleep after the 3am feed and that's next to me on the bed - so still have a crib transfer to complete...

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Acorncat · 15/01/2015 09:23

Mine went through a spell like this a few weeks ago, I'm pretty sure it was his reflux. I could only get him to feed by walking him round and round in the sling until he was asleep then letting him sleep on me - after about 10 mins asleep he would start rooting around so I had to very quickly give him a boob and he'd feed. If I wasnt quick enough he'd wake up fully, cry, and we'd be back to square one. He'd sometimes feed in the sling while I was walking but it was pretty uncomfortable trying to hold him in a decent position while walking for a half hour feed! It seemed to pass, though I did change his reflux meds.

Now he's just very distracted so still eats more at night but I've started co-sleeping so he can just feed as he pleases, not ideal but i couldn't carry on with a couple of hours sleep a night.

Sunnydays44 · 26/01/2021 19:36

@Missingcaffeine hi - aware this post is quite old but I’m at the same stage and the exact same position as you describe.
How did things work out for you? Did things improve?

Seekingadviceplz · 27/01/2021 09:46

Sounds exactly like my baby at this age. He pretty much refused to nurse during the day, especially my left breast! It is such a stressful time, I nearly threw in the towel and started bottle feeding but i'm glad i didnt as am still breastfeeding at 13 months. Be reasured it is extremely normal behaviour at this age! I found feeding him just as he woke helped too. As long as your baby is growing and nappies are ok, there is unlikely to be anything wrong. I totally sympathise with the sleep deprivation though. I found breastfeeding got so much easier at around 6 months.

www.laleche.org.uk/what-happens-at-four-months/

www.sdbfc.com/blog/2015/4/8/breastfeeding-at-3-4-months-it-can-look-very-different

riocar24 · 06/02/2021 02:23

I found this thread because I was going out of my mind trying to understand what was happening. Its going on right now for me. My baby is 4 and a half months old now and it started about four weeks ago... he ate so well and I was thrilled to have so much milk to feed him... then he started refusing to eat in the mornings, then all through the day until late afternoon and then only during the night! Its extremely frustrating and it worries me to the bone. Nobody I knew had experienced this. Most moms I knew had complaints about not having enough milk and I was feeling miserable because little one did not want to feed at all, crying and kicking when nipples came close to his face... crying either with hunger or pain... started him on reflux treament, apparently he suffers from silent reflux, because there's no other indication of a condition besides not wanting to feed and being horribly fussy...
It made me feel a bit better to read that this behavior is neither life threatening nor permanent... (my mind tends to imagine extreme scenarios) and will eventually pass... was about to give up on breastfeeding... will try to plow through it. Baby is gaining weight and growing normally, so I'll try not to obsess too much about it and hope for the happy relief of introducing solids.

riocar24 · 06/02/2021 02:26

by the way @Acorncat, did you ever find out why baby refused left breast? Because my baby also repeatedly refuses to eat from it.

Sunnydays44 · 07/02/2021 13:44

Hi @riocar24 I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with this too. It’s been going on for us for quite a while. My son is now 5 months old and I think he’s slowly growing out of it as we’ve had a much better week the last week. I’m just hoping time and patience are the answer. I try to offer at nap time as he’s drowsy and as much at night as possible. It is so stressful so I really do feel for you. Hang in there. Hopefully it will all resolve with time.

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