Help with getting DS to sleep without me

[lentilpot]

So... Right now I feed five month old DS to sleep at bedtime and every time he wakes up in the night (= lots of times) (especially at the moment). I've been going along with this quite merrily, partly out of laziness and partly because I haven't hit breaking point with the lack of sleep.

But... My mum is ill with something terminal. We don't know how long it will be but she's at the palliative stage, although for now still at home and has a pretty good quality of life. I just suddenly connected the dots and realised there will be a time when I will want to be able to spend the night away from DS in order to be with my mum and I think it wouldbe best for everyone if someone else were able to settle him. He's never had a bottle successfully for a number of reasons (none of them being that I'm anti bottle, something just kept coming up) and I would happily give him formula of need be.

But how do I go about doing this? I've tried putting him down drowsy but awake and it's never had a glimmer of success (he immediately starts tossing and turning and then thrashing and screaming!)

How do I get DH able to do bedtime sometimes? See do bath together and then I do change, book, boob. Should I get DH to do change and book sometimes even if I then do boob?

I guess a bottle would help my DH get him to sleep (err, obviously!) but does anyone have any tips for introducing a bottle so late?

Alternatively does anyone have any stories of what's happened when you've had to be away from a boob-settled baby suddenly? I kind of figure my DH and wonderful MIL would eventually figure if out between them but I just don't think any of us need that stress when it comes down to it.

This applies to naps as well as bedtime.

Bump

Sorry to hear about your mum .

I'm afraid I don't have too much to offer in terms of advice as my almost ten month old never falls asleep without me at night time and it's something I'm trying to tackle.

However, I have had to leave my DD unexpectedly during the day and I was worried how she'd get on with naps but it was OK. She went to sleep being cuddled/rocked and with a dummy but what really helped was her having a tshirt of mine to cuddle. According to my MIL and the crèche, she snuggled into it and went to sleep quite easily.

I would try to get your DH to do some night settling when your DS wakes up so he gets used to that. Perhaps just see if he can rock him back to sleep. And for bedtime, your DH could always try a bottle and see what happens. My DD has hardly had any bottles in her life but when she's had no choice she's taken them, even at a later stage. She only drinks the minimum amount of milk and catches up when she sees me but she will do it.

Finally, try not to stress too much. Your DH will cope without you and your DS will be fine.

Sorry about your dm

I don't have much advice about the bottles as my ds had a bottle of ebm very early and we kept giving him an occasional bottle until 6 months when we consistently gave him a bottle before bed. Has your dh tried to give a bottle? I think sometimes they take a bottle better from someone that isn't you iykwim.

With bedtimes I'd just get dh to a couple of bedtimes even if you're still booking him. From about 4 months my dp started to do more bedtimes and it took a while for him to learn to be patient get confident but he now does at least half the bedtimes. I think it's really bonding for dp and ds and dp is out for most of the day so if he didn't do bedtime they'd hardly see each other in the week.

Good luck

Boobing not booking

Thanks, both. I'm reassured to hear that your DD was ok when you had to leave her. Hopefully the boobs will start to seem less crucial once we start solids in a few weeks. And I will try a bottle again! I think it would also help me to write down his bedtime routine (for my own peace of mind more than anything else!).