falling asleep by self - how

9 replies

lori21 · 14/10/2006 17:13

DS1 has always been terrible at falling asleep. Daytimes needs rocking and nighttime needs bf. i've just got him into his carrycot for daytime naps after having to use a bouncy chair. i'm trying to get him to fall asleep by himsellf. He is 14 weeks old

any advice gratefully received

OP posts:

ballbaby · 14/10/2006 17:31

If you can stomach it I don't think there's any harm letting your baby cry whilst settling himself - that is if you know that he's fed, watered, not too hot, ready to sleep, comfortable etc and there is no reason for him crying except that he wants you to get him to sleep. With Ds1 we never let him cry, and had to actively get him to sleep until he was 15 months old when we started controlled crying (and we had to feed him at least twice a night until that age). With ds2 from early on we let him cry for ten mins or so to get himself to sleep - after a bit of a wind down routine before he went - after a few times of this he knew when it was bed time and since then he has always really loved going to bed.

ballbaby · 14/10/2006 17:35

That's not to say ds2 has always slept through - he's always been an early waker and has only just (at 14 months) started sleeping through! But he loves going to bed!

disemboweledbint · 14/10/2006 17:41

if you want to sort it without crying then i would suggest 'the no-cry sleep solution' by elizabeth pantley. there are loads of us working our way through the book's suggestions, there's a thread somewhere about it.

emkana · 14/10/2006 20:26

He is still only little you know.

This whole "falling asleep by himself" thing is totally overrated IMO.

At some stage they learn to do it anyway, just like they learn to walk/talk/feed themselves.

Original poster

lori21 · 14/10/2006 21:59

Thanks for the advice. Especially your reassurance emkana. I sometimes feel a lot of pressure to get him to sleep by himself. Amazingly I fed him tonight and put him down awake. He grizzled a little and fell asleep! Even more amazingly he was overtired, had not had his usual bath and was in a different room. I will have a look for the book in the library as i feel he is too young to cry.

Any more ideas gratefully received

OP posts:

colditz · 14/10/2006 22:08

Put him down at the point his eyelids are drooping but before he drops off. Keep doing this. It's about all you can do I think.

vitomum · 14/10/2006 22:12

sounds like you are already doing a good job lori21 just by following your instincts, rather than what you feel other expect. 14 weeks is still v little. I used to spend lots of time sitting by ds's cot, stroking hom or holding his hand. Then i progressed to just being in the room. That seemed to work for me. he was never left to cry and loves going to his bed.

nearlythree · 14/10/2006 22:16

My hv says no leaving to cry until 6 mo. My ds is a good sleeper and settles himself with a dummy. Sometimes he grumbles a bit but you can tell it's just a 'urrrrrgh I'm tired, let me go to sleeeeeep' type of cry and I stay nearby until he's asleep.

My two dds were shocking sleepers, however. Dd1 had health problems which needed a lot of night time attention, so when she was better she'd got no idea how to go to sleep on her own - she'd have been about 8 mo. Dd2 needed a boob to go to sleep and I so wish I'd used a dummy with her. The one piece of advice I have is don't let him need a boob to sleep - my dd2 didn't establish this habit until about 6 mo so you have a while before you need to worry about it. And Colditz is spot on about puuting a baby down still awake.

newmum36 · 15/10/2006 19:00

My ds was awful at settling himself to sleep for the first 12 weeks - he's now 14 weeks. We used a dummy for that time for all naps and evening sleep (and if it fell out, he'd scream and scream til we got it in again) but not middle of the night ones.
At 11 weeks after a holiday when it drove me mad (constantly putting in and out), I took the dummy away for evening naps - ds is swaddled. The first night, he settled after 10 mins or so. The second 5 mins. He was more tired and moaning than crying. One evening he took half an hour. Now he takes 5 mins or less. What I do do now though is have a lullaby light playing. We have 10 mins of cuddling after bottle and bath, a little cuddling in the dark after I've turned the light out and then in to bed whilst awake but drowsy.
Now for naps in the day, just in the last week, he also falls asleep on his own. He cues naps by a bit of a moany grizzle and I leave him to it and off he goes.
So, that's only my experience, but try to crack one at a time. For me the evening one was the most important and it took about a week for him to get to the 2 minute or less stage and the transition was relatively painless for both of us. The naps followed. He's also found his thumb in the last week so I'm one arm unswaddled at the moment to see how that goes.
Tomorrow I'll be brave and start with the grobag !!...
good luck

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