co-sleeping advice please -

[perchancetosleep]

hello, DS (7 and a half M) is waking a lot at nighttime (though this does vary admittedly)I'm getting more shattered rather than less. In fact I seemed to get more sleep in his first 3 months and be positively chipper! That will teach me for feeling a little - perhaps not overly smug - but certainly grateful!

I'm thinking of co-sleeping as lots of people have suggested their babies slept better knowing they were close by. I'm thinking of buying a cot that attaches to the bed as I do like my space and our bed isn't huge. Any advice much appreciated. Also friend said her baby just BFs in the night and hardly wakes her. Is this true for lots of people? Also have we left this arrangement a little late. DH a little concerned about when the wee one would then (and how) be transposed to his nursery again... I'm feeling confused as did a night of controlled crying and it felt terrible... he's got better at daytime sleep but the night wakings are really taking it out of me to the point that getting out in the day is just so tough...
Also, on a practical note, if anyone knows of a good type of cot to buy (or has one for sale for that matter) would be very helpful. ta muchly

I have co=slept with all 4 of mine. It really isthe best way to get a good night'ssleep. You can bf virtually in your sleep and the closenessis very comforting for the childand nice for you. They do move out andaremore likely to sleep alone happily if they havehadasecure start.

hey tooticky, that's been my instinct... DS really seems happier being with us - was just nervous about rolling over onto him. I know that one subconsciously won't as it's a protective instinct but still felt a bit nervous I guess. I BF in bed then take him back but the getting up and down again is shattering!
Did you have yours in your actual bed or use a side cot?

In the bed. And unless you are drunk or drugged (which i am sure you wouldn't be!)you won't roll on him.

I had DS in a cradle right beside my bed until he was 6 mths then moved him into own room and own cot without any problems at all. I liked having him close, where I could lift him into bed for feeds and watch him sleep and stroke him if he woke, but without the concern about rolling onto him, and also it meant that dh and I still had marital bed to selves (not that it saw much action, but good for relationship I felt (too much info?))

Hi, we co-sleep at least part of the time with ds (7 months). He is in the big bed with us, and we have a bed rail to stop him rolling out. He was in a bedside crib, when he outgrew it at about 4 months we moved him to a cot in his own room but none of us were happy with it and, as you say, you get shattered doing the night feeds. I've kept using the cot for his daytime naps so hopefully paving the way for moving him out to his own familiar bed when he can sleep through. I'd really recommend co-sleeping, its lovely! Haven't a clue how we will end it when the time comes, but we will somehow.

hey tooticky, nope that isn't quite my style... besides when would i find the time (I joke of course!) that's great advice. I had him beside me in the bed this morning and he slept so soundly, despite repeated very loud door bangings from our neighbours which is normally the one thing that wakes him.
Tattie100, not too much information... a reality for most I would reckon We had him in his own room early because our room was sauna like in the summer (30 deg) and his room was a fraction cooler) Bikebug, I reckon that's a really good idea to separate the two - at night the bed and in the day the cot, so keeping them reassured. Just for your info (I read up a bit because I felt so unsure) there's a section in the No Cry Sleep Solution (E. Pantley) about making the transistion from bed to own bed later... I looked because DH was wary about how this is going to affect them later when they are even more aware of what's going on (friend had a prob with this and their little boy)... but it doesn't follow that this will happen and I guess when they are older you will at least know that they aren't really in need of a nightowl feed. on that note, where did you get your bed rail from? I guess there must be a few available? I want to give this a go because being a zombie mum can't be the best thing in the world. Funny how you do just about get used to very little sleep... can't seem to remember what I said 2 seconds ago!

we co sleep dd - 17 months. dh had all the normal fears. before 8 months it was only for part the night or early in the night when i was too shattered to stay up till 10. from 8 months something had to change and she started to spend all night in with us - from anytime between 10.30 or 1 am till 7 am. just this week she was quite ill with a bad cold and found that she coughed less (almost none at all) in bed with us than in her cot! it also feels better than you know exactly how ill she is because with the little night wakings you know she isn't cold or feverish etc.

we bought a bigger bed at around a year old when she started to get really mobile and also put up a bed guard on my side of the bed.

dh used to worry about rolling over on her and she would only sleep on the outside of me. after a month or 2 he completely got used to her in bed with us and sometimes she sleeps between us now.

i work full time and i get all the rest i got pre-baby. i expect she will stay in bed with us for as long as she likes as dh and i treasure having her in bed with us. the little moments can be so special and fleeting.

have you seen the unicef leaflet on safe co-sleeping? download it if you haven't.

also a good read is the blog: www.bawlingbabies.blogspot.com

it has lots of articles and scientific papers on the benefits of co-sleeping among other things.

hey somethingunderthebedisdrooling...what a great nick name.
You're a star! Thanks for that advice ... I shall have a look at the Unicef guide as well as the blog. DH is taking a little persauding... he thinks that changing the sleeping arrangement is not neccessarily a good thing for DS (and I don't think he's just thinking of our own arrangmennt - afterall having a wife who's frazzled and tetchy can't be much fun!
Really good to hear from all of you. Feel happier, much so!

Perchance we were very happy co-sleepers for 3 years at which point ds moved without trauma into his own room.

The bedside cot could be good for the transition from cot to your bed and maybe back again when he is older?

We found we enjoyed having a family bed more than we could have imagined. It is so lovely waking up in the morning next to them, it makes you want to swoon

Hiya, you asked about bedrails - ours is from an online (ebay) company called safetots, and it's a babydan sleep 'n' safe. It's the only one I could find that fits beds with a slatted base as well as divans. HTH - must go, off to bed, shattered [very sleepy emoticon]

FrannyandZooey, you are so right. DS was teething and ended up being next to me quite a bit last night... he seemed so much more chilled and was really lovely to have him so close. I must get that bedrail. He suddenly (having hated being on his tummy up until this time) has started enjoying this position and is wiggling and shunting about the place like never before.
Bikebug thanks so much for that info on the bed rail. We really need it so must order up. One more question for all you experience co-sleepers. I notice the rail will only protect on the side. Does anyone find that their little ones shunt/wriggle/crawl down the bed? I just know that DS moves around his cot and am hoping same wouldn't apply in bed and he might shunt off the bottom??

just looked at Baby Dan... says for from 18 months (on Babyworld)... why is this? and why is there no product for babies specifically... odd. Still as you guys are using it safely I guess it's because co-sleepig isn't encouraged that it's aimed at an older market. We definitely must put one up as BFding in bed we are both nodding off

Hi some great advice and tips. We co-sleep with ds 12 months, well he is in the 3 sided cot, next to my side of bed and its so nice to bf half asleep and wake up next to him in the morning.

He too has had a bad cold and been bfing lots more also nice to keep an eye on his temp etc at night.

I was getting concerned about him going into his own room eventually but was talking to my mum who said me and my brother co-slept with her and dad and were both fine going into own room. Just made it an adventure when we got older ie choosing paint/paper/bed covers etc. Hope this works with ds but your messages have given me hope it will be ok when the time comes.

it says from 18 months for the bedrails because most people only buy them when putting toddlers into a proper bed. it will be fine with you in a grown up bed.

yes, dd shunts down the bed but not every night and not even once in a night. you will 'know' where he is in bed and just move him back to where you want him. i do it half asleep. it never really wakes me up when i do it.

=sorry - another question. do you put your babies to bed somewhere else before joining them?? our dear fella goes to bed at 7 but that's a little early for us to join him. What do other people do as obviously I can't put him in the bed on his own? thanks for your advice

i normally put her in her cot the first part of the night. sometimes she is fed to sleep but most nights now i can feed her, put her in her cot and i stay in there till she nods off. whenever she wakes up nearer our bedtime i will either feed her to sleep again and put her in her cot once more if i am not ready for bed or take her to our bed.

This thread has made me feel so much better. DD (2y 7m) has recently taken to popping into our room during the night and then progressed to asking to get in the 'big bed' right from the start....she sleeps really well.
After the usual feeling of worry/guilt/is this normal?/how will she ever get back into her own bed?-type-of-thing, I've decided that I LIKE IT too - it's so lovely to see such a happy face in the morning (It makes me smile at my dull, dull, dull work place even now!) Ooo, I feel quite liberated now...thanks all of you! .