Fed up with 4am wake ups - desperately seeking advice please!?!

[LimesMum]

I know I've been on here many times and probably sound like a broken record but.... We are still having problems with early waking!! We did have a brief period of improvement when she woke at 5-530 but this only lasted a few days.

So she wakes at 350 on the dot every day and screams to get up, nothing will settle her other than getting up for the day.

We have recently done controlled crying which has helped hugely in that she now goes down for naps and bed on her own without too much trouble and is no longer being fed in the night. I have been holding off feeding until 6am and doing cc but this morning I tried feeding her at 4 to see if it settled her, she fed like she was starving but made no difference, still wanted up. I even put her in the buggy and pushed for 20 mins but no luck.

So we stay up until 930 then have a nap (as per previous advice in here as apparently going for a nap before then encourages early waking).

She naps for 1.5 - 2 hours then naps again at 3 for 45-60 mins and goes to bed at 715-730 ish. Going to bed later makes no difference, I've tried that too!!

Any pearls of wisdom out there at all would be gratefully appreciated!! She has also become extremely strange with her eating habits, she has always eaten anything and everything and now just spits it all out after a spoonful and will do this with anything apart from yogurt or brown bread.... I think this is a separate issue tho?!

Hello Limes, when we dropped my dd's morning nap and just gave her a long lunchtime one, it took a few weeks to adjust but she did get used to it and started sleeping a little later in the morning as a result... I mean maybe 6:30 but when you're used to 4 that seems like a lie in doesn't it!

But at first it was difficult keeping her awake and I felt quite mean doing it and also just wanted to go back to sleep myself too. Was worth it though.

Hello. Sorry to hear about your situation, it's really tough. I wish I had the answer but DS is 18 months and has been doing this for 6 months. Has anyone tried a gro clock on an under 2 and had success?

Molars are sometimes hellish for them though so I wouldn't discount that!

Thanks notasleep!! That sounds reassuring, 630 would be amazing!!! How long did it take? She is still waking at 530 and it's been over a week now. Did the nap get longer too?? Also she is so exhausted at bed time she falls asleep feeding and I've been trying to put her down awake recently as part of sleep training so am not sure what to do about this now too!! Don't want her to forget how to self settle after all our hard work!!

It took a few weeks, and she went from 2 naps a day to a long one from around 11-1, though this was /is flexible - waking no later than 3 ideally.

Butshe was older than your dd - about 20 months ish.

But I don't see why you couldn't do it with a younger child.. I need to try something on my 10mo ds, an even worse sleeper than his big sister - hence my username

Though his issue is multiple wakings (10+a night ) rather than early rising

Oh dear that doesn't sound ideal at all!! Poor you, not sure I can help really?! Controlled crying? No cry sleep solution?? Gradual retreat??

So today we had to make a long car journey to see a friend which meant 2 naps, one on way at 11 and one on way back at 3..... Eeeeekkk wondering how this will affect things?!!

I'm just worried from reading and googling that a single nap of only one hour isn't enough for an 11month baby? But it is helping her sleep better rat night but she is so cranky after about 5 hours of being awake, poor thing

Yeah one hour doesn't sound like much for an 11 month old... ds has an hour a couple of hours after he wakes up, then another hour after lunch, in the push chair usually.
Could you try giving her 2 shorter ones maybe?

Hopefully the nap will get longer though. it's good you're getting slightly later mornings..

Saltedcaramel we tried the Gro clock for a just turned 2yo- it didn't help I have to say but I know many who have had a lot of success with it. DD just woke up at the crack of dawn and shouted from her cot 'moon mummy- night time'

Also the bright display seemed to disturb her sleep.. Apparently some models have a dimmer though.

Ds2 is 11.5 mo now and has been through a really shitty period of sleep including being up for a few hours in the night. I've never got him up at 4am though so I've not got it bad as you. I did a mix of bf in bed or chair trying to rest as much as possible. Or resorted to pushchair if necessary, which at least kept him quiet and then another bf might send him off again. My point is I think it's a fairly normal phase. You do what you can to survive.

I've put it down to teething and developmental leaps plus winter bugs and a really bad cough.

I reckon nursery should get you all into a good routine. Tiring for baby and they're very good at getting children to sleep.

I swear by offering boob then leaving ds2 to whinge a bit. I find he tends to settle after 5 mins. Whinging can go on for longer but it's not distressed crying. It sounds like CC is working for you too. If I interfere too much then it just takes longer.

I think you need to let him have 2 naps in the day, albeit short ones. I think more sleep in the day makes for better sleep at night but buggered if I've cracked it yet. Ds2 is all over the shop but I don't keep a tired child up. It's just miserable.

So 2 naps yesterday = not going down til 8pm and up at 430 again!!! I guess today we are going back to the one nap

Third morning here and after the Monday's CC session we've had some improvements.

Tuesday: 4.50am DH got straight up with which I thought was a bad idea as it was still very early.

Wednesday: 6am!!!! Glory! An actual human waking up time.

Not time to celebrate yet as we've had short lived improvements in the past. However, I'm more confident in trying to stop the eay wakings.

I've also moved his nap to 11.30/12pm (2.5hours)

Please, please, ease let this be the start of something good. We've had 18 months of crappy sleep - no more pleae

In case anyone's interested, we tried the Gro Clock for the first time last night; DD was very excited by it. She woke up at 2am and it took a while to get her back off to sleep - we kept showing her the clock and pointing out that it was blue/still sleepy-time etc. She went back off and then woke up at 3.40 - again we kept trying to settle her, didn't work, but her clock was set for 4am anyway. DH made a big fuss of her and showed her the clock where the sun had come up. Will see how tonight goes!

Hi limes we spoke last month on a similar thread, my ds was doing the same wake up. We've managed to sort it - fingers crossed! - so just wanted to share in case any of it might be helpful for you?

The early waking was fixed by gradual retreat. So any waking before 6am was treated as a night waking. We stayed in ds's room and shushed until he gave up and went back down. If he was standing up we left him as he can get himself back down. For the first night he cried for an hour but then went back to sleep for 40 mins, second night cried about 15 mind and went back to sleep for about 30 mins, from third night he was waking at 4.30 as usual but self settling and going back to sleep until 6am. We then had a few weeks of this, so he was essentially sleeping through until 6.

Once he was starting to get a solid 11 hours sleep (he went to bed at 7pm) he then dropped his morning nap. He was going down at about 9.30 for 1.5-2 hours but he suddenly refused to. So now he naps at about 11am. Only for an hour atm but I think that will get longer as he adjusts.

Because of this quite short nap he now goes to bed at 6.30pm and I was worried this would mean we're back to early waking but actually it seems to work for him and he sleeps longer. So he still doesn't wake before 6 and this morning he slept until 6.30.

You've probably tried all of this and I see from pp that you're already on one nap, but just in case there's anything here that might help.

Hi hoggle!!

Thanks this is really helpful. Gradual retreat really doesn't work for us but cc or a little bit of cio if it's post 5am seems to help and she has become a lot better, yesterday she slept til 6!! And the night before she had gone to sleep at 645 ad do exhausted after only a one hour nap.

How old is your lo?

So what I might try today following your tip is one nap and bed at 630, it may go badly wrong but worth a go as a later bed time last night resulted in an earlier wake up today!!

Thanks again to you and everyone for the advice

He's almost 13 months, the early waking started at around 10 months. We had a couple of months of flailing around in our hell and then once dh was off over Christmas decided to really commit to GR. We were lucky that it had worked for us with bedtimes a few months before that, so we knew it worked for ds.

I know what you mean about later bedtime = early wake up. A few days ago ds did a mid morn nap so needed a catnap at 3ish. So because he had a later nap I put bedtime back to 7pm, the next morning he woke at 5.50! Not a disaster but I felt it couldn't be a coincidence. So for now I'm sticking to 6.30, but I assume that when the late morning nap moves to after lunch as the months go on we'll probably then go back to 7pm iyswim.

I'm so pleased you're having success though, I can imagine what you've been going through. Even though lots of people would still consider 6am hideously early, once we cracked that as a wake up we felt like we'd won the lottery! I have no problem getting up at that time, and if we get a bit later then that's a lovely bonus.

Saying that, on Christmas Day I was in touch with a friend whose baby is a month younger than ds. I asked how her ds had liked his gifts - at 8am - to be told that he was still sleeping!!! After a 5am wake up that day, it gave my Christmas spirit a right dent

I know my friends baby sleeps 6pm-8am every night!! And has done since 6 weeks!!!!.

Right she has just gone down now, really hope she goes for more than an hour, she has been up since 5!!!

Please can I just ask what times your give meals at? I'm wondering if I gave lunch before her nap whether she would sleep for longer but it's not working logistically at the moment!!

Lunch used to be 12 on the dot but now anytime between 12-1 depending on nap wake up. Dinner at 5 but might bring that forward slightly given that he has a bottle before bed, not sure.
Saying all this, the little punk only had a 45 min snooze today so that was a bit of a disaster. Honestly, he changes every few days it's a total pain. I did try for a second nap but no dice so holding firm for 6.30! It's a long afternoon...

Meant to say also that the 10am snack has changed to be a bit more filling - eg a banana - to try and avoid an early nap wake up due to hunger.

I had cause to regret posting as ds2 napped at 5, due to nursery run, went to bed a 9, woke up for a quick feed at 12 ( that I probably could have avoided but I was up anyway), then woke at 3.30 for a longer feed and wouldn't settle. After snoozing on the boob for 15 mins or so I put him back down and ignored the crying. Sadly it woke up dh who was up at 5am for work and he well meaningly brought baby into me probably hoping to get another hour of sleep. I had to take ds back to his room and rock him then put him down and ignored the crying, which meant he self settled after 5 minutes.

All told I am a zombie today!

I know a post 5pm nap is bad news but can't do much about it if he sleeps in car whilst I get ds 1.

Interested by the PP that mentioned erratic sleeping and feeding pattern. Snap!

So I tried an earlier bed last night although she didn't end up down til 7, still woke up at 530 but guess that's not too bad.

She has only done an hours nap again today, doesn't seem to be getting any better!!

I just feel bad as I drove to town at 10 and she fell asleep immediately so is obviously tired then

So I tried an earlier bed last night although she didn't end up down til 7, still woke up at 530 but guess that's not too bad.

She has only done an hours nap again today, doesn't seem to be getting any better!!

I just feel bad as I drove to town at 10 and she fell asleep immediately so is obviously tired then

Pah we had no luck yesterday either! I took him out in the buggy at 9am and he fell asleep before we'd even got to the end of the road! He later got ill though so not sure if he was wiped out from that. And last night a disaster! In with us due to illness, wide awake since 4.30.

Why oh why are they always ill as soon as you crack the sleeping?????

Hope you have a better day today

Oh no poor you and poor baby. We are now cutting another tooth.... Full of snot and dribble. Typical just when she was getting sorted, like you say always the way!!

Last night I put her down at 645 and she woke at 6 today miracles do happen!!

Hope it happens again but am doubtful....

Ooooh that sounds promising! Long may it continue

Am hoping tonight isn't too bad and will try to be firmer at staying in his cot. He's poorly, but not that poorly, iyswim. And he sleeps so much better by himself.

Ok so that was a one off, been up at 4 yesterday and 5 now. Trying to do cc again today but it's the hardest yet, she really won't give up!! Seems to have workout how to have a full on temper tantrum over the last few days