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Sleep

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Original poster

8 week old DD just WONT SLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!

12 replies

Absofrigginlootly · 22/12/2014 04:25

Please help, I am desperate!!!!! Sorry this is long, but detail needed I think. Typing this after hours of trying to get DD to sleep she has finally given in and asleep on me (for the moment).....

DD is almost 8 weeks old and exclusively BF. Has always been a crap sleeper/frequent waker and fought naps in the day but sometimes went 2-3 hours in her cot at night.

This week (week 7) she has become even more alert and it's made her sleeping even more of a nitemare! She is basically point blank refusing to sleep anywhere but on me or DH so we have to take it in turns throughout the night...

I have noticed that if she is awake for more than 2 hours she goes into meltdown (hard as she is SO alert she would stay awake all day of left to her own devices!!! This has happened on few days when I've had to attend appointments, and ends in hours and hours of screaming and taking until 12-1am to settle her!!!) so I try to get her back to sleep before 1-2 hours of awake time.... Hit and miss at the moment.

We are both feeling desperate now, if DH wasn't here I'd be averaging 1-2hrs a night max. Surely this isn't normal?! You can tell she's exhausted but she just won't let herself go, and even when she does, she's sleeping so lightly that the slightest thing (e.g, she moves her own arm) wakes her up. She's comfort sucking so much she's pooing loads, I'm worried she'll make herself ill...but if I don't give it to her then she just screams hysterically!!! The only time she gives in if I refuse her the boob (if I'm ridiculously sore for e.g.) cuddle her/rock her and essentially let her cry (which is f'king awful!) is after many many hours and she is completely exhausted. Can't co sleep....have tried it, it doesn't work because she wakes herself up, being led down next it me is the same as being in her cot so she might as well be in there because at least I sleep better. Sometimes I can rock her to sleep if she's almost asleep from feeding lots, but she's getting so heavy I can't do it much longer because it makes my stitches hurt (extensive tearing) Even DH is struggling to rock her to sleep now.

My HV is useless and never has more than 5 mins to speak because she's so disorganised and always running late. All the usual suggestions (swaddling, trips out in pram/car seat, white noise, dummy etc) make no difference at all :(

Considering giving a bottle of formula last thing at night....?! But I KNOW she's not hungry, she just won't sleep!!!!!! So don't think it would make any difference and after all I've gone thru to breastfeed (another thread!!) it feels like a failure.

I'm feeling pretty low and desperate...

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Missingcaffeine · 22/12/2014 06:23

My baby had a growth spurt around this age and suddenly wanted to feed every 1-2 hours at night after going 3 hours before this. It only lasted for a few days, but I hear they can last up to a week.
I also found he was so interested in the world around him and so alert that he wouldn't nap in the day. I found if I could get him to nap in the day, he slept better at night, but sometimes I lost this battle. I don't really have any answers but a lot of sympathy. For my baby, trips in the car tended to get him to sleep, so this was worth doing in the day as seemed to improve his night sleep.
If you have any friends/family who might be able to help, do call upon them to help you i the day so you can have a nap/break.
Good luck

barmybunting · 22/12/2014 06:51

Is she struggling with wind or anything which might be keeping her awake?

Does a bath calm her down? We pop a tiny bit of lavender oil into a bath for our DD which seems to help ease the transition to sleep.

Re nap time, 5 week old DD is not keen either. I have taken to taking her upstairs to a darkened room at 2pm or so and lying down with her, she eventually sleeps but only if glued to me.

Will she sleep in a sling? Or if you co sleep?

Redling · 22/12/2014 10:08

Aim for 90 mins of awake time before day naps, this was all my DS could cope with before he was an overtired mess and that meant he was distraught so wouldn't sleep. For the comfort sucking, it might be worth persevering with a dummy, it was worth it with DS because instead of ages of screaming for a nap he would just suck a bit and sleep. I resisted dummy until 10 weeks and wish I hadnt, so maybe give it a try again, gently hold it in her mouth a bit at the start so she can get used to it without spitting out. I felt I had lost control of his sleep but realising he still had to sleep loads during the day helped. 1 hour-90 mins max is recommended awake time at that age. Take a few days of staying in and just making her nap as much as possible even if it had to be on you, to see how she is when more rested, that might help the night. Although as a PP mentioned, nothing stops the growth spurts!

Redling · 22/12/2014 10:11

And yes to suggestion of a sling or carrier, DS goes out like a light in his and if you can wear her round the house you can move more freely when she sleeps. I would worry about getting naps in the cot in the quiet and dark etc at this age, by all means try and transfer when in a sleep but I still find at 18 weeks I want DS to be able to nap even in a busy room of people!

Redling · 22/12/2014 10:12

I wouldn't worry about cot naps I mean!

GEM33 · 23/12/2014 23:27

Hi. You aren't alone. Mine is 3 now. I spent the first two years on this topic asking for advice. Mine was exclusively bf and wouldn't take a bottle and would only feed to sleep and I averaged 2-4 hours sleep a night (and broken sleep not even solid) for nearly 3 years. It drove me crazy. I recall she would wake four times an hour on bad nights. We tried everything from osteopathy to cry it out (and I do not recommend cry it out as by day 3 I was a quaking wreck and put an end to that stupid method)
My advice now after all this is, is no advice. Everyone has different bits to say. In the end I muddled through and occasionally now mine sleeps through after I gently persuaded night weaning. I just wanted to say I have much sympathy and to let you know no matter what it will get better eventually x

GEM33 · 23/12/2014 23:31

Google dr sears and read about his story with their baby that wouldn't sleep x

piggychops · 23/12/2014 23:44

I had this with DS 1 and it took weeks to get into a routine, he was so full of milk from all the comfort sucking much of it came straight back out. I was of the view that dummies were the work of the devil and should never be used. I realise now I was wrong and could have saved myself so much heartache.
DS 2 (EBF) had a dummy from fairly early on , and it was a lifesaver. It didn't interfere with BF and it was easy to wean him off it later on.

MonstersBalls · 23/12/2014 23:45

I know you said you've tried white noise but have you tried a hair-dryer?
I found out by chance one night while I was drying my hair in DD's room that she nodded off while watching me. It worked for a good few months before she seemed to get bored of it.

Artistic · 28/12/2014 00:47

You need the 'sensational baby sleep plan'. Worth a read...even if you follow some of the tips if not all you will see an amazing difference.

Artistic · 28/12/2014 00:48

You need the 'sensational baby sleep plan'. Worth a read...even if you follow some of the tips if not all you will see an amazing difference.

GrumbelinaPicklebottom · 28/12/2014 15:42

Hi OP.

I wonder if, given the comfort feeding and poor sleep, and preferring to be held upright, your LO might have (silent) reflux? Possibly also cows milk protein intolerance? They frequently co-exist.

If your HV is useless, your GP would be the next port of call. Diagnosis is relatively straightforward, and treatment will improve things pretty quickly once you start medication for reflux.

If you can manage going dairy free yourself, you may notice a difference in as little as a few days, although it can take up to a month to gain the full benefit. A dairy free diet isn't easy - especially when you have a baby who doesn't sleep very well and wants to be held constantly (I've been there and done that ... twice). There are also prescription formulas (formulae?!) if that's a better option for you and your family.

Sorry you're struggling - the first few months are pretty rough anyway, without extra problems to complicate matters. Much sympathy - both mine have reflux and cows milk protein intolerance. Getting them on the right medication and cutting out dairy from my diet made a huge difference to both of them.

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