Help with 6 month old sleep issues, please, I'm desperate! Time to sleep train?!

[Flingmoo]

Wouldn't be such a problem if it wasn't for the fact that I'm going back to work in a couple of months, and there's not been much sign of any improvement in the last three months... I know that DH, baby and I will all be suffering 100 times more if this continues when I go back to work :(

On good nights, he wakes up twice - once between 1am and 4am, and settles down quickly when we give him his dummy and a pat on the bum, and once at 5ish for a feed. On bad nights, like last night, it's frequent waking, and sometimes takes 2 hours of going back and forth to his cot to settle him down. For the last month or two he keeps waking up crying on his hands and knees rocking back and forth as if trying to crawl (which he can do now, during the day!)

Co-sleeping is not an option - he actually sleeps worse with us.

I am sure it's separation anxiety at the moment, he just wants cuddles, but it's just so bloody depressing that it's just one thing after another with seemingly nothing I can do to help: developmental leap, sleep regression, trying to crawl and sit up in the middle of the night, separation anxiety, next it'll be teething, standing up in the cot, and then more separation anxiety! It's never ending! Even when he's not got one of these 'reasons' he'll probably just keep night waking out of habit or wanting his dummy.

I can't deal with this for another year or more! There's no sign of it ending... Please say there's SOMETHING I can do! I am not averse to sleep training as long as it's nothing too harsh. CC or gentle retreat? Or would that be counterproductive with the separation anxiety?

I don't regret having my lovely, happy and active baby for a second, but part of me thinks 'can't believe I signed up for this' I thought by 6 months things would be better by now.

mamushka - I was told to do the absolute minimum in terms of interaction when I go into DS when he's crying. When we go into him he is usually either on his hands and knees or he's kneeling up with his hands on the edge of the cot so I will pick him up quickly under his arms (but not bring him towards me) and lie him back down. As I'm doing this I will say "It's time to go to bed (insert name). It's time for sleep." I then just walk out.

He was awake last night between 03.20-04.20 and it was very difficult not to give in and feed him just so he'd go back to sleep. During that hour though his cries were very much stop and start so we only had to go into him three times before he went back to sleep.

Writer - could you PM me too please? My six month old DD was self settling and sleeping through till 4 months, and it has all broken since then. I now have to feed to sleep day and night and she is waking 4 or 5 times a night.

Can I just say, I don't think there's any reason for you not to name the sleep consultant on here!

I was worried that it might get me in trouble for Advertising or something?

Her recommendations to me came via PM so just assumed that was the fine thing.

I will happily just give her name and contact details on the thread if MN has no problem with it

You won't get in trouble for advertising as long as it's a natural part of a discussion. Just like if you said "I bought these amazing new slippers and I can't believe how warm they are" and if someone said "oooh, where" you could link. What gets in trouble is people posting recommendations and links for no apparent reason and no posting history.

Oh I see

In that case, for anyone else who is interested, her name is Nicola Watson. Her website is www.childsleepsolutions.co.uk and she can be contacted directly via her email address : [email protected].

NeedaDiscoNap Our baby has a dummy and I've been having the same doubts for a while now. But I am worried if we took the dummy away we'd be making things even harder. It really does soothe him. You can see the relief on his face when you give it to him sometimes. So for now we're keeping it, he's starting to learn how to put it in himself, so maybe that could solve the problem.

He's slept through the night ONCE in his entire life, a few weeks back, and when I ran in at 8am worried, he was contentedly asleep sucking away on the dummy! No idea if he had it in all night or just managed to get it back himself when it fell out.

I know Mamushka, I feel the same - she obviously gets relief from her dummy so I keep wussing out of removing it! Last night she was a lot better - woke at 10.30 and 2.30 but then slept til 6.

I think I'll give it til after Christmas then see if any changes need to be made. We have family staying next week until Christmas Eve (wooo hoo ) so not the best week to start anything. Will see how she goes over the next few nights.

Thanks writer. We will see how it goes when the holidays hit x

I was a bit dubious about doing the training around Christmas because of all the upheaval and business that's comes with family visiting and long drives to see relatives eyc. I'm just hoping that things will still stay positive for us.

My DS slept for 10.5 hours last night before waking and is now doing the unbelievable, napping in his cot. His naps are usually only 40 minutes due to him having them in my arms but now he's in his cot he has been asleep for almost two hours now!! The difference in him is amazing!!

I even went out with friends last night because I knew DS didn't need feeding to sleep and that once he fell asleep he would stay that way

We used Sian at www.sleepbabies.co.uk
We were at the end of our tether and worked wonders for us.
Good luck
Sian

Have been AWOL from this thread due to horrible horrible cold/cough we all have, has totally thrown DS's routine, sleep etc. to the wind. We're all shattered, and I've never seen so much snot come from such a tiny nose... :(

My little one has got a cold too and there is snot EVERYWHERE!!! I'm like you, I can't understand where it's all coming from. Every morning I have to peel crusty dried snot off his face

Hi all, just reviving this thread as my DD is 6 months and I'm getting pretty fed up of waking up every hour......

She has a dummy, so thinking that I should get rid of that first? Although she does go to sleep with it like a dream but it falls out then she wakes up and I plug it in, and on top of that she still wants boob every 2-4 hours in the night time......

Advice and details of how to sleep train really welcome, I don't think we could afford any consultant advice but I NEED at least 3 hours solid sleep, it's getting ridiculous

Ann is the sleep consultant I swear by and link to on almost every thread on here! She does not use CC. She has a unique and very holistic approach that looks at the whole baby/toddler, not just using behavioural strategies like CC or gradual withdrawal which may work in the short term but may not last. CC/CIO/GW all made DS1 worse and I tried them all, to the letter, more than once. It's also horrific for the parents and not the 'sure thing' fix that everyone thinks it is. I'm certainly never using them with DS2, who I've already booked in with her in anticipation that his equally crappy sleeping doesn't resolve before I go back to work.

CC and other extinction methods are also not physiologically good for babies despite Writer's sleep consultant talking about the detriment of reduced sleep.

The link supplied is the ISIS website, the evidence-based Durham University sleep research site. Absolutely the go-to website for anything related to infant sleep.

Hi @Writerwannabe83 sorry but it's another request for a PM if that's ok? (I did PM you but can't work out if it's sent!). I'm feeding 5-6 times in the night as that's the only way to soothe her but even that's not working now and naps aren't good either :( thanks so much xxx