Early waking toddler... I have tried EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, I TELL YOU!!!! Any out of the box ideas???

[Emeraldgirl2]

21m DD wakes up at 5.15ish am every day.

If I felt this was just her 'natural' wakeup time, I would live with it, but she is EXHAUSTED all morning, from about 7am onwards.

Here is what I have tried:

A later bedtime (the WORST option, it just leads to overtiredness which I think is the worst culprit for her early waking)

An earlier bedtime (this has occasionally worked but not consistently)

Scooping her into bed with me the moment she stirs (no luck, she just lies in bed with me and flails until I give up 90 min later)

Leaving her in her cot (not to cry, as she will scream herself sick, but leaving her in there with reassurance after a hasty cuddle (NOT getting her out) and saying it's still night time, sleep tight etc...

Giving her a quick drink and also doing the above, doesn't help.

Leaving the heating on all night (!!) so it's not too cold...

Putting her in a sleeping bag/duvet thing designed for wriggly toddlers, so she's not too cold...

NONE OF IT WORKS!!!!

My info does really suggest that overtiredness is the biggest problem as on the (rare) morning when she sleeps until 6am or thereabouts ( a lie in!!) it ALWAYS corresponds with a good long nap (2h) the day before, and a nice reasonable bedtime, on the early side, at 7pm latest.

However what with her being so tired ALL the time, due to missing out on up to 2 hours sleep each night, combatting overtiredness is an ongoing battle; I can't FORCE her to nap for 2 hours each day and she regularly wakes up after only 1h 30 (and is then tired all pm!!).

She has never been a late waker, 7am would be a pipe dream, but we did have a month or two of 6.30am which was bliss... that was back in the summer but it's been no later than 5.30am for months (and the clocks changing was just hell, we went to 4am instead!!)

If I really think about it, things seemed to solidify around the 5.15 mark when she dropped her morning nap... until then she'd been often-enough sleeping in longer.

Has over tiredness caused by all those loooooong morning stretches without a sleep (5.15am until 11.30ish am, which is the earliest I can put her down otherwise there's too long a gap before bedtime after she wakes up from her nap) caused the problem, perhaps??

Should I try a short early0ish morning nap, 9am or thereabouts, for 20 mins or so, for a few weeks until we've hopefully solved the OT issue??

Many friends with early-ish waking babies said they all miraculously slept LATER in the mornings after dropping the morning nap, but the opposite is happening here, if indeed that's even the thing that made the problem worse in the first place...

Should I try wake-to-sleep, in desperation, which is the only thing I think I haven't tried yet...?

ANY advice, or even just solidarity, please help me!!

SoonToBeSix, the trouble was that even when she was going to sleep at 7.30, even 7.45, she woke at 5am ish... We did that for months and the 6pm bedtime is brand new. Asleep at 7.45 and then awake at 5am was only 9 and a bit hours sleep and she was shattered. At least the stupidly early bedtime gets her a proper nighttime quota for a while...

Emerald I really do feel your pain, we had this with dd1. If it were me I would ride out a few days (maybe up to a week) of over-tired, cranky toddler and just keep her up til 7pm (at least) regardless of waking up time. Eventually she will start sleeping later. Maybe move her naps later if you can too (stretch to 1.30pm?). We learned our lesson by the time we got to dd2, she goes to bed with dd1 by around 8pm and usually wakes by 7am. She is 26 months now and due to school runs etc only gets a nap 2 or 3 days a week - she could definitely do with more but the plus side is she never ever gets us up at an ungodly hour like dd1 used to when we were obsessed with making sure she got enough sleep (and ended up with too much & consequent early wakings)

Cross post emerald - I see you've tried later bedtimes. I would persist with this, as well as making sure dinner isn't too early (530 - 6pm for 7pm bedtime), make sure room is dark (use blackout blinds), DD is warm enough (we still use grobags with dd2 plus blankets).

Another thought - is she definitely ready to get up when you hear her in the morning? Not suggesting doing controlled crying or anything but is she maybe just rousing a bit and grumbling, but might go back on her own if you left her?

great ideas here but also wanted to ask if she's getting outside very much in the afternoon? I know it's difficult when it gets dark so early but some afternoon daylight might help her body clock reset a bit.

I also agree that 6.20 is too early for bedtime, I think you should push it back gradually until you get to at least 7pm, maybe even 7.30 if she can do it. Easier said than done I know!

Also wanted to say my dd was a nightmare early waker until all her teeth came in, around 24 months if memory serves. After that she regularly went through to 6.30 or 7. Still early but much more civilised!!

Good luck!

My DS is 22 months and we've had a glo clock for about 5 months. I would say it works - we say night night to the sun, turn it to the stars and then when he's woken early we go in and point to the stars and say 'it's still sleepy time'. We also make a big fuss about the sun being up and saying hello to it etc.

He hasn't woken early for ages. He wakes at about 7.15.

But then he's going to bed much later than your dd, we do dinner 5.30/45, milk 6.45, bath 7pm then stories, then asleep by 7.45pm. He naps for 1.5 hours at nursery or 2 hours when he's at home (at diff times but post lunch).

I agree with a pp that you need to try to shift the bedtime to later.

I feel for you, you must be shattered.

The tiredness could be nothing to do with lack of sleep.

Have you taken her to the GP for a check over? Could be anaemic, allergic to something, Vit D deficient - especially if she's a fussy eater something like that is worth ruling out.

Our youngest is an early waker, always has been, but he's on the go all day, eats massive amounts and burns it all off, and genuinely needs less sleep than his older brother. No chronic tiredness, he wakes up early because he's had enough sleep.

A Groclock got my early-waking DS to go back to sleep from 21 months, rather than just play quietly in his room. He probably lay there, willing it to change so fervently that it hypnotised him back to sleep Worth a try!

Some kids are just wired to have an early body clock. I'm kind of the same and struggle to sleep beyond 7 am even as a teenager or student.

At least she sttn. I would try to alter the whole routine back and wake to sleep and give them both a good go o'er a week or two. If this doesn't work go with it & adjust your clock to sleeping early and doing your chores in the morning.

I look forward to when he can go and watch TV without disturbing me. Only a few? More years.

just to disagree with everyone here : my two are good sleepers so I can't much help on that front, but they are both in bed and asleep by 6 and wake up at 8ish.

17mo still has at least 2h nap. 2.8 yo no nap and is on her knees by bedtime.

so I don't think it is a particularly early bedtime.

Would she have porridge/ready brek before bed or for breakfast?

Your 17 month old sleeps for 16 hours a day? Wow DS2 never did that even when he was a newborn!

poocatcher I think you are lucky, and a little unusual. I'm sure your kids are it the only ones, but that's not really helpful either.

Well, newsflash here. Ds1 aged 4.5 slept till 6.06. Ds2 is still asleep now at 6.30!!!!! I was awake in the night for about an hour though as dh woke me up looking for gaviscon and then I had work on my mind. Grrr. Still, better than what's been going on lately. Though one swallow does not summer make.

Op how was your night?

Not "it" in first paragraph, not.

and at poocatcher's sleepers.

I hope you're on your knees every night thanking whatever Gods that be for that stroke of luck (twice!). Spare a thought for those of us up hourly for years on end

Hi everyone and thanks SO much for all posts and advice!
Well, an improvement of sorts last night, she was asleep by 6.20 and then although I heard her stirring at about 5.20am, she was obviously still dozing because I only heard the first 'mama!' summons at 5.40... I went in and scooped her up ( she was still lying down as it happens, so I think veyr dozy, normally she's up on her feet at the end of the cot waiting for me) and we dozed in bed until 6am... so not perfect but I don't expect perfection, just gradual hope!!

I think the trouble is that, for all the very good advice about not too early a bedtime, DD is one of those children who will wake up/sleep badly when she is overtired. She is partcularly so at the moment as we were very recently up at my parents for a week and she slept VERY badly there, an unfamiliar room and no routine... (my mum is the death-knell to routine...) So I think I need to persist with the early bedtimes just a couple of days more, as there is a clear link that the days she sleeps until closer to 6am are the ones when she has had a pre-7pm bedtime the night before.

Then, if we can just get past this overtired cycle, I'll start to push the bedtime back to its normal time (7.30), persist with a small bedtime snack (though she is very resistant to it) and try (gulp) wake-to-sleep if necc...

A plan! I have a plan! Things feel better with a plan :)

Thanks all, hope I've not rambled too much... it's just a bit of a nightmare especially as I work in the evenings (no childcare and I work from home so evenings are when I work) and I can't realistically get to bed before about 10.30pm at night, so if she wakes up at 5am ALL THE TIME it just gets too much after a while. And I have just been :( about seeing her start to wilt at 9.30am, just as we arrive at playgroup, or messy play, or whatever.

Emerald that sounds like a decent plan. You know your DD best and it sounds like you need to get her through this bad patch before attempting a fresh attack. Best of luck with it, you'll get there (dd1 who was our bad sleeper now at 4 yrs old goes to bed at 8pm and I usually have to wake her for school at 730 )

Is it worth trying a drean feed again? A bottle wothout really waking her just before you go to bed? Maybe just water if she's waking thirsty?

I find that moving bedtime later by literally 10mins per night or two is better than doing it in massive increments. In fact, since she seems so ultra sensitive to being tired, I'd even try 10 mins every 3 nights. Use a bit of TV/extra long bath/2 or two extra books to buy you the time until it's the right (new) time to get her down. You want her to be gently acclimatized so that she doesn't get less sleep overall. Actually you could even persist with each 10 min increment until she is sleeping 10 mins later in the morning? So that you know she is used to the change? It may be painfully slow but then so is getting up at sparrow's fart!

I reckon you gradually need to cut the nap down and move it later. If she was getting 12hrs at night she wouldn't need a two hour nap....

So I think you need to push it back by ten mins each day so that it's around 12.30 or 1pm. And experiment with how long it needs to be - I reckon it needs cutting to an hour tops.

Re. Ovrrtiredness could you force the naps with buggy/car rides for a while as she gets used to later naps??

Hi, my DD is now three and a half. She woke at 5.15 from 1 until she was 3. Now I can't get her out of bed for nursery! She has always eaten like a bird and was definitely hungry. So I started keeping a pot of cereal by the bed... Crunchy bran.. Low sugar. She would wake up and I would give her a snack and she would fall asleep again. It worked best when she roused about 4 and I would feed her with the cereal and she would sleep till 6.30...it was lovely! Maybe worth a try. It has to be something boring and snacking in the dark with no chatting otherwise it's too much fun and then there's no more sleep. Might be worth a try.

Hello! I know this was a long time ago but wondered how you got on with the early morning wakings in the end? My 21month DS is exactly the same as what you described! Would love to hear from you.