7 year old sleep problems

[needmoresleepnow]

I am at the end of my tether. I am a single mum of a 7 year old who refuses to go to sleep by herself. Generally I am not too bothered by this and figure she will grow out of it. She sleeps in my bed as this is the easiest option all round.

Intermittently I try her in her own bed and it is a long process, often tears and even if she does fall asleep then she wakes in the middle of the night. IF I notice her come in I am usually so shattered I can't get up to take her back but mainly the first thing I know is when I wake in the morning and she is in my bed.

Every now and again she has a phase when she is a real pain and takes ages to settle. We are in one of those phases now. We started bedtime at 7.15pm and at 9.15pm I finally lost my patience and put her in her own bed and shouted at her

Firstly she wouldn't get into bed - performing a dance, putting on a show and no matter what I say she wouldn't get into bed. Then she wriggles and has one thing after another that she needs to tell me, do, say.

She won't go to sleep unless I am lying with her.

It exhausts me. I feel like I have no evening. I am shattered.

I've had some success with this book. Its not a fast fix but my DD (now 10) is much better these days. She's never been a good sleeper. I also had to accept that she does not need a lot of sleep and things improved when I put her bedtime back, although she goes up at 7 (with DS), then reads or writes in her room until 8.30. Whilst we were establishing new routines I never deviated from bedtime (she must have been 7 yo and it was 8pm). Even though it meant turning down invites for a few months.

www.amazon.co.uk/What-When-You-Dread-Your/dp/1433803186/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1417299278&sr=1-1&keywords=what+to+do+when+you+dread+your+bed

Good luck

Thanks. I have tried earlier and later bedtime and nothing seems to work. She has actually ended up going to sleep in her own bed now but no doubt she will be in mine before morning.

I'll have a look at that book.

She doesn't express any fear or worries as such just that she wants me with her.

The problem with trying anything like suggested in the book is that her dad wont follow it when she goes to his so no consistency

Have thought of some sort of reward scheme & emphasis on sleeping in her own bed being the "big girl" thing to do ? This worked for mine at a similar age

I painted pennies with flower designs on them using nail polish, called them flower coins & she earned one for every night she spent in her own bed - 10 coins earned her a trip to Poundland to choose anything she liked -

This along side lots of praise around how grown up she was & how proud we were for her being such a big girl & staying in her own bed, talk about older girls we know & how they always sleep in their own bed etc worked to solve the problem

She's never been a great sleeper, she still isn't now, but she knows what time she's expected to be in her bed & if she can't sleep she can read for a while

Good luck

Sods law last night she stayed in her own bed til 7am! and tonight she has gone to bed absolutely no problem in her own bed tonight - which only happens about 3 times a year!

We had a good chat this morning about needing enough sleep and how she feels if she hasn't had enough. We also chatted about her going to sleep in her own bed and trying really hard to stay there til morning.

I have promised her points for every night she can do it and if she can then she will get a £10 build a bear voucher at the end of the month.

I don't like 'bribes' and tbh rewards rarely work with her but it seemed to do the trick.

Oh and a snuggly hotwater bottle teddy seemed to comfort her.