what can you do if your baby sleeps but you can't

[bassingtonffrench]

ive been awake since 1am. I regularly am awake all night. my 4.5 month old naps well in the day usually but I still don't get to sleep then, even thtough I try.

he is not a great sleeper but if I fell asleep between night feeds I'd feel a whole lot better!

Has anyone been through this and what can you do, if anything?

Audiobooks/Radio4 are your friends.
Congrats on your new baby
Hope you can get some sleep soon

I'm only 2 weeks in but have realised I can't nap during the day. It's impossible. I've decided just to accept it for now and hope my body gets used to it!!

Write a to do list

I lay there and force myself to think off one of the following;

a fruit/vegetable/name/county for each letter of the alphabet. I never make it to the end.
all the counties
all the states

have you tried a meditation app on your phone? Look up mindful ness mediation. I have one on my ipad but can't remember what it's called but it's good, just 15 mins at night time and I sleep a lot better.

Try breathing in for count of 5 and out for count of 8
It's hard switching off when you're a mum !

Thanks for the suggestions! i don't consciously feel worried as such but I think I am just hyper alert. he wakes at different times every night and does unpredictable things - wanting to play, dirty nappy etc so you are right it is hard to switch off, even though he does at least one four hour stint most nights

It took me ages to get back into a sleep pattern (ds is now 2) you need to try and rest as much as possible but I found actually zoning into ds breaths helped me fall back off as did yoga breathing ( I am assuming a 4.5 months ds is still in your room due to sids risk etc)
We did do a co sleeping faze at one point and after that (and dp thinks this is hilarious) I couldn't sleep without a soft toy in the position ds used to sleep in as I missed him so much. And tbh is you met me you really wouldn't think i slept with a soft toy!

Aww that is quite sweet!

We do sometimes co sleep but it makes my insomnia worse

I am exactly the same. The baby is actually a good sleeper but I can't switch off. We have moved her into the nursery as I thought it was all her loud snuffling keeping me awake but it's made no difference. I am basically awake from 3-6 every night watching the video monitor and waiting for her to wake up.
I am completely exhausted and considering going on medication to help my mind switch off in some way.

Not just me then

Can I ask how old your baby is taking chances?

Radio 4 or world service podcasts help your mind switch off. You can get a speaker for your pillow for a few quid on amazon. The key is that you are interested enough to switch your mind to listening and not so interested that you force yourself to stay awake!!!

Yes she is 8 weeks old

A friend of mine used this as a reason to get her DH to take over night feeds!

Even when my DH does the night feeds, I still lie awake! Freakin hormones!!

I had this very much with Dd & sometimes with DS who is now 4.5months. I even went to the GP who was not much help. I did a meditation type thing where you imagine you are walking around somewhere you know well from your past e.g. Childhood home / school trying to picture as much detail as possible. It helped me. Nothing worse than that disparate feeling that you are going to get know sleep. It also helps if I can bank some sleep by going to bed early as then I am a bit more relaxed knowing I have already had 2/3 hours but it does mean no awake down time.

Takingchances , I'm the exact same. I find it takes 2 or 3 nights of no sleep for me to be completely exhausted enough to fall asleep during one of her sleeps. But I agree, her sleeping pattern is so inconsistent that I never really feel secure enough just to nod off because she could wake up in 5 minutes or 5 hours!!

And as much as I'd love to react to her very first feeding signs this just isn't practical at night, as she makes mouthing noises literally all night long!

So when my baby naps my DP makes me lie down and practice ignoring all the noises. I know it sounds a bit weird. But basically if she doesn't outright cry (at night this is) I stay laid down on my side facing away from her. I'm getting better at it and occasionally I fall asleep. Her cry ALWAYS wakes me. (I think part of me was worried it wouldn't)

I also listen to this...

m.youtube.com/watch?v=p1HBm4tzAYs

My rule is, if I'm still awake at the end of this track I get up and do something useful. I often find it helps the baby to settle too. His voice is quite sleep inducing!!!

I was discussing this problem with some other far more experienced mums today. They all said they couldn't nap during the day which made me feel better as neither can I. As for sleeping (when baby sleeps) at night they said they gave up monitoring how many hours they'd got because it became too stressful.

So Ive decided to chill out generally about sleep. I'm not gonna get a solid 8 hours for a long time. And with a 2 week old baby, I'm probably lucky/normal to get the odd hour here or there.

It's awful, isn't it? Have you tried Horlicks? And limit screen time so no phones in bed! Also helps to avoid clock watching and counting how few hours of sleep you're getting! I sometimes migrate to the sofa, somehow I can always sleep there.

I went through a similar thing with my DS from about 3 months until 1year. Some nights I would struggle to get more than a couple of hours sleep. My GP didn't really suggest much, after a few bad nights I saw a different doctor in desperation and she said it sounded like anxiety. I didn't think I was anxious, but I must have been because within a week of starting the medication she prescribed I was sleeping much better. Now six months on I am sleeping as well as I did before I had children. I think that the medication is an antidepressant (peroxetine), all I can say is that I wished I could had started it sooner. I don't think I have noticed any side-effects, and my quality of life is so much better. I can really enjoy being a mum now and the stress on my family has gone. I was also surprised that it I could take something whilst breast feeding (not if pregnant though).

I'm not trying to say that you need to go down this route, just that it may be an option, or something to talk to your GP about.

Typing this after zero hours sleep last night. I'm an insomniac so generally struggle.

Tbh I'm not sure that there's much you can do but wait and hope sleep comes back.

Relaxationwise I do 2 exercises. 1) lie down and focus on relaxing your toes. Then just try and relax your ankles and slowly work up through your body.

2. a-z of really dull things....place names of where you live, foods etc.

My husband said he'd be the one to listen out for the baby which helped me to switch off as well as I could put ear plugs in.