good start with CC but had bad night last night - any advice please?

[Lucy1977]

Hi

I was following the Controlled crying thread and got some good advice how to go about CC.

We started it on Saturday night and we've also done away with the dummies at the same time. We were doing well with the CC and Mon night DD (8months) slept thru from 7.30ish to 7am ish. Last night however she seemed to have a bit of a temp (not fever high but 1 deg higher than normal for her) so I gave her calpol and she seemed irritable. Put her down to bed but my instinct told me not to do the CC so I fed her to sleep then put her down and she slept til 4.30 when she was up on all fours in her cot. She was wide awake and I just thought it was going to take a looong time doing the CC at this hour and also didn't think she'd go to sleep very quickly so again I fed her and after about 20 mins she was falling asleep but when I put her in her cot she was wide awake but I just said night night and left the room. I could hear her chatting away to her soft toy and rolling around but 15 mins later I could hear she was asleep. Then she woke at 6.45am and again was wide awake and so I got her up then.

At the beginning of the CC I felt really good, felt like we were doing something positive about DD awful sleep habits (I was up 3-4 times after 2am every night) but now I'm feeling like I'm giving in and questionning my motherly instinct of when to apply it and when not. I presume I should be more consistent?

When DD appeared wide awake during the night should I have done the CC even if it took an hour or more for her to go to sleep? Is it also a matter of teaching her that night time is for sleeping not just how to teach her how to settle herself?

Thanks for any advice you can give

Lucy

Hi Kate

DD has a runny nose and last night DH woke her up twice (by accident) so I bf her back to sleep. I know it was a mistake because she then continued to wake up in the early hours and finally got up for good at 6am. I couldn't not bf her though because I wasn't sure if she had a sore throat or anything. I'll see how she is tonight but I'll try and give her water from cup instead of bf/

My parents are visiting this weekend so I wont be able to update until Monday.

Hope wee Harrison is continues to do 7-7 , that really is fantastic!

Lucy

Hi Lucy,
my computer is going in for repairs so I'll be off line for a week and a bit, (I will feel like my arm is missing!)I hope all goes well for you and DD (what is her name by the way? ).....I'll speek to you in a week or so! Take care and I hope DD feels better soon.....Kate

Hi all,
I have read your thread and hope you don't mind a new member!
After much discussion with DH we have decided to try cc with our dd. She is totally reliant on bf to slepp at night and that or long walk in pram to ease her into good sleep. This has left me tied to set routine and she is dependant on me to get to sleep! We slipped into this as was so tired in early days and easier to feed lo in bed and felt so much more refreshed in am. Am beginning to spot draw backs and concerned lo will not know how to get to sleep. We started today with her morning nap- weather bad, stuff to do at home and her crying seemed less traumatised than at night, also got on with small chores around house to prevent myself from giving in too early.She cried on and off over an hour & 1/4 then slept for 40 mins then time for her one o'clock feed so bf her.

Any advice on how to stay strong in pm as know will be harder then?? Does anyone else apply same method for daytime naps- think it will confuse her if different approach used for each
Sorry for long post! ps dd is 4 and 1/2 months.

Hello again,
Well it is night 2 for cc and DH was in charge tonight. dd fed at 6.30 and again at 7 til 7.30pm. She cried on and off for 25 mins and DH said key phrases ssshhh, relax etc.. and she seems to have settled. Problem is, what to do when she wakes for feed at 11 or 1, (We were co-sleeping and bf in bed, am trying to encourage sleep in own bed)I will take her back to bed for feed, but liable to fall asleep and dd will be co-sleeping for rest of night- slightly defeating the point?- should I stay up and feed her in chair then pop her back to bed?. I noticed that you, Lucy used cc in middle of night- is it working for you? Any advice? Am hoping that it continues to work!!! Pretty candles I see that you are a 'veteran' any advice on night feeds?
Alex

read thread can u all help me dd2 is nearly 15 months and has a bottle in cot when going bed takes her bottle out when fin then puts dummy in goes bed at 7.30 wakes through night for milk tried for a week cc but get so loud and still awake 2 hours later thats with me going in after 10 15 mins was so tired after a week just started getting up getting bottle for her u just think give bottle and she will feed herself then go back to sleep but want to get her to sleep through without bottle thanks kasdie

Hi Kasdie,
I am only on night 3 of cc, and this is my first dd so am no expert. How difficult for you - it is frustrating when they have become dependent on something as a sleep cue and you need to adapt it!
My dd woke more frequently for feeds following cc to get her to sleep at beginning of evening, could see myslef slipping back into co-sleeping! DH stayed awake during feed and returned her to cot when she had finished. My health visitor said as it is change to routine she will wake more often and test me to see if she would be returned to cot each time! HV did advise that I did feed her at these times though but make it clear that she would be back in the cot after- it was knackering last night DH returned early from work for a nap!!! She took 22 mins to settle tonight!!- it gets better each evening.

I found starting the cold turkey on the "bf to sleep" easier to start in the day at midday nap- the cries seemed less heartbreaking and I busied myself with little jobs- e.g. I am not going in til I have finished mopping the floor. I also tried to distance my feelings and thought of her as someone else's child who I was trying to train to sleep, kept reminding self that to be able to get off to sleep is a skill she needs to learn. I am a poor sleeper so feel it's important to help my dd. Are you trying this on your own? It helps to have someone to support you and give you some encouragement. I have planned a night out as reward for persevering. Don't just sit there and listen to the cries- try and keep occupied in between checking on her it makes the time go quicker. Keep at it, you are not being cruel you are supporting her in being able to get to sleep independently and she will thank you in the long run! I got worried that dd was ignoring me after first cc session but big sunny smile appeared and I thought phew she still loves me!!
Good Luck, hope this message has helped in some way!
Alex

last night she didnt wake up but i left a bottle in her cot she must have woke up and drunk it and went back to sleep

Hi
That sounds good , did you sleep ok? She may take some time to get used to no bottle at night and maybe genuinely hungry.May be she'll continue with that for a bit? The HV advised reducing bf or watering down formula so that drink is less inviting and therefore not worth getting up for, is that worth a try?
My dd is not sleeping through yet and I wonder when it will happen!

My dd is on night 4 of cc, she settled well tonight but have cinema trip planned for tomorow and hope she continues to respond well! keep your fingers crossed for me, or rather for DH who is stopping at home!!

Hi Ladies - just spotted that you have revived this thread.

Mummyjoon - do you have the support of your h/v to do cc when your DD is so young? Ferber advises that 5 months is the absolute youngest that you should do it. Whilst obviously I am a fan of cc, and did do some quite early, I would be worried about doing it as early as you are.

If you do continue, then I would use it just for settling her down, but still continue to bf during the night. I would do this in a chair in her room, and then pop her back in her cot awake and use cc if necessary to get her to resettle.

Kasdie - I've never formula fed, so bottles are a bit of a foreign concept to me, but I thought it was supposed to be unsafe to leave a bottle with a baby to feed itself? Does this perhaps not apply now that your DD is 15 months? The reason for doing CC should not just be for your benefit, but because it is important for your daughter's development that she has a long unbroken period of sleep - if she's waking and taking a bottle during the night then it is benefitting you but not her, so I would recommend getting her used to sleeping without it.

You say you went in 10 15 minutes - what do you mean by this? With CC you lengthen the intervals at which you go in by 5 mins each time.

ive tried not giving bottle at night but she can stay awake for hours and she is so loud ive tried leaving her but she just gets louder im going to try again tonight and ive stopped giving her a dummy in the day time as she was having it in all day any advice for to night tried water she just goes mad

Hi All,
Lucy, are you still watching this one? How's DD going?....I felt like an arm was missing while I had no computer....so I took myself off to the coast for a few days to plan my upcoming wedding.....(Thats what I told DP, Harrison and I really just relaxed!!!)
Mummyjoon, I agree with CastsSpells, DD is young to start cc. We didn't start 'til DS was 6mo. I think if you are going to do it she will still need a night feed and will continue to wake for it. Have you tried the dreamfeed I suggested earlier in the thread? If DD wakes at 11 or 1 as you said, preempt it by going in at 10.30.....
In answer to your question on daytime naps, I do cc only at nighttime - DS just goes into cot for day naps ans talks 'til he drops......HEY....He does get something from me!!!!
Hope cc is successful for you, it really has helped us immenseley.
Keep your chip up and stay in contact!
Kate

Hello all,
Think I may have misled you in one of my messages.
I am only doing cc to settle at night. She has a long feed in bed with me, darkened room and when she has had enough I pop her in her cot. She took 20 mins on Tues and wednesday to settle and last night and tonight she settled immediately, so although I take on board that she may be too young, she was getting into bad habits that I thought would not be easily rectified.
I have not read up about it, just followed some cc threads and noticed that although tough the results actually come about quicker than pu/pd.
Are there different types of cc? DD does not scream or shout it is more of a grumble and moan as she is trying to self settle. I would have crumbled had she screamed and certainly would not have got past night 1. I really admire those of you who have had to battle with full on crying!! Kasdie how do you cope when your lo is going full out for the bottle??
I am continuing to feed dd when she wants ( i have demand fed since she was born). The H/V advice was not given to me as personal advice and thought it may be relevant to Kasdie with her lo

Any advice on what to do with daytime naps, she is fine in pram to snooze ( but it is getting colder...) and will fall asleep on my lap after b/f but wakes promptly if moved. I enjoy giving her this time but sometimes would like to do stuff around the flat whilst she sleeps- even though good excuse to get cosy with dd and a dvd!!

dd has got a cold so she has not stopped crying all yest and this morn just went in last night about 10 times didnt mind as i knew she was ill only had 4oz in night better. thats why i give her a bottle otherwise she wakes right up then awake for hours. i think she does wake herself up by hitting her head on bars in cot and that wakes her up

Poor you Kasdie!
My dd has had a really bad day at lunch do we went to with her grandparents, non-stop grumbling and full on crying- it is difficult and draining isn't it!!
Is your lo any better now? Has calpol or similar helped?? my dd spits it out as fast as you give it to her!! I would have been in and out feeding and checking if it had been me too!

Hope weekend improves for you and your lo.

PS Have you got cot bumpers? apparently babies do bang their heads as part of a self comforting thing- or so i read somewhere. Were her nappies still good and wet?? If they weren't best to see a doctor to check she is not dehydrated.

Take care
alex

fat nappies last night she was good slept till 650 new time. tried cot bumper but had to take it off as she was using it to climb out of cot fell out one morn when she was 7 1/2 months. she is teething really bad gave medised tonight bless her

Hi Kasdie
Have you tried nelsons teething granules- you gently rub them into their gums. My lo seemed to have sore gums last week and woke every couple of hours- like a newborn and it worked for her.Am sure you already use a cooled teething ring or similar my dd couldn't get enough of it!!
Sorry to hear about bumpers- was sure you'd thought of them already but thought might as well suggest. Not sure what else would do!Good luck