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11 month old can't self-soothe at night

1 reply

yorkshiremum515 · 29/10/2014 10:28

My son is 11 months old and has, up to now, always fallen asleep while breastfeeding. This was not my choice – he just never went through that ‘drowsy but still awake’ stage at the end of a feed. He typically wakes twice during the night for a feed (around 11.30 and 4), and is always asleep by the end of it. He has therefore never learnt the skill of falling asleep by himself without being fed. But in the last few days this has stopped happening – he is still awake when he has finished feeding, and when I put him down in his cot he does not go back to sleep himself. I try and soothe him, but he just gets more and more awake and soon starts crying.

I knew the time would come sooner or later when he would have to learn how to fall asleep without being fed, and I had been preparing myself for having to ride out some long periods of soothing him back to sleep. But last night this went on for over two hours – picking him up and rocking him, putting him back down and soothing him – and in the end I had to feed him again to get him back to sleep. It now feels like I have lost the ability to get him to sleep – neither feeding nor soothing reliably works.

Any advice or experiences to share would be much appreciated.

OP posts:
BooseysMom · 29/10/2014 19:48

Hi yorkshiremum, Ah, now I know exactly what you're going through! my DS has always fed to sleep and he is 11 and a half months old. I have the cot next to the bed with the side down so I can BF and he feeds every hour from about 10pm onwards. It's like he's newborn still! I have got used to having broken sleep every night for the last year and it's exhausting but somehow I have got used to it. I have tried putting him back down without feeding and have sung songs to him which have helped to get him off when he first goes down for the night, but when he wakes up I have to feed him to get him back to sleep otherwise I would have to spend hours just standing by the cot soothing him. I just take the easy option by having his cot next to the bed with the side down which probably isn't helping him in the long run as people keep reminding me, he needs his own room! It is so tiring isn't it? You just get to the point where you will do anything to get some sleep!
I realise this isn't helping much as in I can't really advise you, but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. My HV even said the same to me that I'm not alone in this - she even told me her child slept with her in the same bed til he or she was 5!! She said she probably shouldn't be telling me this but it made me feel better.
So hang on in there, as people have told me on mumsnet, it does get easier - I don't know any 15 year olds who BF and co-sleep!!

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