Help poor baby still screaming

[Anotheronesoon]

My son is seven months old and four weeks ago we started controlled crying. However he still wakes every three hours overnight and is distraught for up to half an hour each time. It's really taking it's toll on me but sssh pat and other methods equally wind him up. All he wants is a cuddle and some boob and then he will go back to sleep - but cry if I put him down awake. I'm trying to be strong but it's so hard. I feed him bf at seven pm not at nine but then at 11 and sometimes at 0200 if I can't stand the screaming. It's making me so sad any advice would be gratefully recieved.

Hmm cc/cio usually works really quickly. If 4 weeks on there's no progress I'd be inclined to think there are other reasons besides habit at play here. How's his feeding and napping in day time

he's likely to be getting separation anxiety at that age, also teeth. fwiw if a quick boob and cuddle works, do that. he's got a lot of time ahead to be a Big Boy and go to sleep by himself

Unfortunately you need to go back to the drawing board. I think you need to cut the association between breastfeeding and sleeping. Can you express and get your dh to give him his last feed? Also do you put him down awake or let him fall asleep on the breast?

If it's making you sad, and all he wants is a bit of boob and a cuddle, why are you doing it?

He's only seven months, maybe leave sleep training for a few months. Don't worry about rods and backs just yet

I too have a boob monster so I understand. I however have little advice regarding cc. I do need my sleep so have co-slept since he was born. I find he is now (14 months) starting to fall asleep off the boob. He will fall asleep when my dh lays and pats him. In the night he sometimes nods back off alone and occasionally he sleeps through for 12 hours.

However very often he wants to feed to sleep. I try to see sleeping alone as a milestone and I don't think my ds is quite ready yet but he is getting there.

For me a good nights co-sleeping sleep was more important than a child free bed. But I fully appreciate how this doesn't work for all.

lem why? breast milk contains sleepy hormones. it's supposed to send them to sleep!

I personally think that he is too young to be sleep trained.

It is normal for babies to waken in the night for a feed, for nutrition or comfort.

There seems to be such a preoccupation with trying to get babies to sleep all night long.

Seven months really is too young. If you can cope, continue the night feeds that bit longer and try again when he is older. Some children genuinely do wake up in the night hungry and others are not developmentally ready to self soothe at that stage.

I agree, I think it's too early to sleep train. Just ride it out.

My LO was up every single hour without fail between 6 and 12 months. Suddenly at 15 months, we had a full 8 till 8 with no awakenings. It will happen.

Thanks for replies. He has just started eating three meals a day and loves his food - eats loads. As for breastfeeding does very little in the day as is too nosey ( this is why I give a feed in the night ).
Problem is I have a two year old who still wakes in the night and a co slept with him for ages. Everyone including husband sees his poor sleep as my fault for being too soft on him and so I'm trying to do what I think I should do this time rather than what sits right with me. My husband doesn't want to co sleep ( my youngest often ends up in bed with us) and to be honest I love it when I don't have a baby in the bed as I sleep so much better. I'm obviously so bad at this :-(

you're not bad at this! you do need a plan that suits both you and Dhaka though, and cosleeping doesn't sound like it works for you.

stupid phone, d h!!!

If he's not feeding much I'm day why don't you try dropping a fees with the solids and increasing his bfs?

He may well be thirsty/hungry and making up for it in the night.and at 7 months "loads" of food may he too much. Reduce portion. Size and increase milk. His eyes may he bigger than his tummy and his body isn't coping with so much solid food

I doubt you caused your older sons sleeping problems. Some kids just wake up a lot. Please don't blame yourself. It's fairly common for two year olds to wake in the night anyway.

My DD was like this for 2-3 months. I upped daytime feeds (they still need more milk than solids at 7 months - they can't get all the nutrition from food yet), night weaned unless she was definitely hungry (so DH could help with resettling).

Honestly, I've no problem with CC but if it hasn't worked in a week it's not going to. Try something else. Revisit CC later

DD grew out of dreadful sleep at 10 months, bar teething incidents.

The baby is not solely your responsibility. It's not fair for DH to blame you.

No, not soft. You are just trying to do your best by everyone. If it's any consolation, my 16 month old still wakes up regularly in the night and I tend to migrate between beds (he has a mattress on the floor in his room that is more comfortable that our bed). Husband understands and the night wakings are rapidly going down. Could you sidecar your baby's bed, so you can feed without getting up - and keep your bedspace to yourself? You could also consider making a "nest" for the 2 year old, so when he does come in he gets the comfort of your proximity without getting into your bed and waking you up.

Whatever you decide to do, good luck. It's not easy, but they don't stay small forever.

If it hasn't worked in a month it won't. For goodness sake do whatever makes your life easiest. If your DH wants to aportion blame, he can deal with wakings.

I am not totally anti cc, but I think a baby needs to be ready to drop all night feeds and it should be getting much easier after a few nights.

If he hasn't got any better and it's been 4 weeks I would revisit the cc later. We did cc at 11 months, co slept up to this point. Are there any changes at the month in his life. I read not to cc if there's any upheaval at the same time. Seven months is the start of separation anxiety so wait till that wanes a bit.

Dd had a feed every 3 hours until she was almost 18 months. I don't understand why you don't feed him to sleep. It is normal for them to wake this often and need these feeds

I meant at night, not all day too!

Your not bad at this at all - you just need to accept that babies this small are not supposed to sleep all night. I think fighting it makes it 10x harder tbh. Although from your post it seems your dh is questioning it more than you?

Sounds like he is reverse cycling too by wakening in the night - very common during this nosey phase.

I also am not necessarily against cc. It's not for me but I have friends who have used the technique successfully within a few days. But their babies have been a good bit older.

I am not a good co sleeper either - I don't sleep so we haven't done it with either dd unless they are unwell and we want them close. It doesn't work for us so I had to accept that I just had to sit in the feeding chair in dd's room once she moved in there at 7.5 months. A cosy bed would have been preferable though!

At 7 months there is no need to break the breastfeeding/sleep association in my opinion. Breastmilkc changes over the course of the day and into the evening - it aids sleep during the night for baby and mum. The idea that feeding to sleep is wrong is just not one I agree with. That said, I did the pantley pull off method with dd1 when she was 11 months old so that she didn't go into a deep sleep on the breast. That worked well and helped her to self settle in the night without being bf - I highly recommend elizabeth pantley's no cry sleep solutions book, though I still think 7 months is too young to sleep train. Good routines, calm, physical closeness and warmth are more important at that age I think.