Hi munchkinny, your dd is at this really difficult age when they're getting bigger and more aware of everything, but can't do anything to help themselves. Any prop that helps them fall asleep, ie. dummy, holding hands, patting, etc. will always need to be done if that's what's been introduced. IMO you need to find 1)either something else that she doesn't need to put in herself, eg. a muslin to suck or animal to hug, or 2)leave her to resettle by herself without the prop/dummy. Both mine were the same as yours, but with ds I used to hold his hand and with dd I used to pat on the back. After several weeks of multiple wakings I would leave them a little longer before I would go in, I would pick up and cuddle, soothe, then put back in and hope they would go to sleep again without the prop. I would have to repeat this many times, but after a couple of nights they finally understood and ds was sleeping through at 5mo and dd at 6mo (sleeping through I mean from 11pm to 5amish!). Must admit sleep did get better with both of mine after solids were introduced.
My dd loved a small muslin square as she could grasp it and move it towards her face and usually some bit of the muslin would fall near her mouth. I always removed it from the cot once she was asleep.
Also, about the side thing, can you wedge a rolled up towel (thick sausage shape) behind her back to keep her on her side? Again, leaving her to find her own way to resettle might get her over this one too. I remember when dd could roll from back to front in her cot and she would scream the house down if she wasn't rolled back over, but I too got fed up with doing this and left her one nap time, ear glued to the monitor, and within 5 mins she 'gave in' and went off to sleep again, on her tummy! Same problem the next time, but on the third time it was no problem at all and she now sleeps on her tummy all the time!
Ye have strength!