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Sleep

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Original poster

Can newborn sleep in nursery on own???

23 replies

archiesmummy · 02/10/2006 21:25

My sis is planning to let her baby (not yet due) sleep in nursery all alone.

Before people tell me to mind my own business I do realise this is none of my business, but it goes against everything I believe in so have to give her some info to get her to make an informed decision.
Are there any proven benefits of sharing room with a newborn?
Hope you all can help.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

tribpot · 02/10/2006 21:27

Gosh - not sure about proven benefits, but I think it is unlikely she will achieve this anyway. Might be best just to let her find that out for herself?!

hulababy · 02/10/2006 21:28

I have known of pregnant people to say this, but when the time comes they tend to change their minds when they realise how inconvenient it is to start with.

Maybe just leave her a copy of a SIDs leaflet or something.

bubble99 · 02/10/2006 21:28

If she's breastfeeding it will make her life a lot easier to have the baby in the room with her during the early weeks/months.

I have breastfed all of mine while half-asleep. It's just been a case of bringing them into bed with me from their cot/moses basket.

hulababy · 02/10/2006 21:37

Guidance from The Foundation for the study of Infact Death on things you can do to help prevent SIDs.

The safest place for your baby to sleep is in a cot in your room for the first six months

CarolinaMoon · 02/10/2006 21:37

agree with tribpot, it's utterly unfeasible.

you could mention the SIDS stuff nearer the time, I guess, but yes, prob best to let her just find out for herself how it really works...

Original poster

archiesmummy · 02/10/2006 21:41

I suppose you are all right, she will prob realise how unpractical it is to have LO in a different room when she has to get up several times a night to BF

OP posts:

hairymclary · 02/10/2006 21:44

yea, you have less far to walk/fall over in dark when it cries at night

Mercy · 02/10/2006 21:46

Even if you formula feed it's easier to have the baby in the same room (apart from all the obvious stuff)

Proven benefit - it's less tiring/faff because you hear your baby waking up because they are right there next to you. You don't have to walk down the landing, stumbling in the half dark, feed baby, put baby back to bed, stumble back to bed (if only it were that simple!)

When is teh baby due? Surely ante-natal classes/the midwife will tell her otherwise?

Snowstorm · 02/10/2006 21:56

Both my DD's were in their own rooms from their second night at home onwards. I was encouraged to do this by my mother (who was a nursery nurse many moons ago) but actually it worked better for us as DH and I just weren't sleeping well with a small baby in the same room as us and all it's snuffles and moans and noises! If DD1 made a gurgly noise then DH thought she was drowning in her own saliva and if she was quiet then he thought she'd stopped breathing ... it wasn't making for well rested/adjusted parents. It was really hard the first night, even though her bedroom was literally just a few steps away from ours, and I kept going in to check on her but a few nights after that it became normal and we haven't looked back. Whilst I would never critisise other people's choices or try to influence them on this, this is what worked for us and I would do it again.

hermykne · 02/10/2006 22:03

omg, why , a wee new born baby, does one not want to be beside them morn noon and night for those first few weeks that fly by so quickly and with hindsight you realise were so magical and precious.

you made the baby and then want to put them in a room by themself at 48hours old, bizarre imho.

SoupDragon · 02/10/2006 22:11

"Are there any proven benefits of sharing room with a newborn?"

Well, you don't have to waste precious sleeping time traipsing to and from their room.

popsycal · 02/10/2006 22:13

agree with hermykne

hairymclary · 02/10/2006 22:16

i don't think they actually know for definite why it is better, but it has been proven (i think) that babies who share a room are less at risk of cot death.

some people say it's because you are more aware of their breathing. some say it's because they're aware of yours.

Snowstorm · 02/10/2006 22:19

Yes, I know that it seems very strange to a lot of people (most of my friend's had their babies in with them for at least the first couple of months) and I did wonder if I was completely nuts to admit this on MN but I actually found it less stressful to nip out of my room into DD1's when she needed a feed/a kiss/cuddle/adjusting/whatever, knowing that I was'nt disturbing DH and that at least one of us was getting a decent night's sleep and so would be functioning a little better the next day. No matter how much I loved and adored my DD (and that's not the issue here), I have to admit that I did not find the night-times in any way magical, I was just absolutely knackered!

Mercy · 02/10/2006 22:21

Yes because newborn babies sleep all night and only wake up every 3 hours for a feed - hahaha.

both of mine spent part of their first few nights on dh's chest - and then onto mine for a feed. It's not about how you feel/how you sleep - it's about the baby,full stop.

Mercy · 02/10/2006 22:24

snowstorm, that wasn't aimed directly at you. But it's not recommended.

Original poster

archiesmummy · 02/10/2006 22:35

Agree completely with you hermykne, but I realise we are all different.
It worrie me that sis is doing this to not disturb DP in which case I think it's totally wrong, but that's just me.
I do understand your reasons for doing it that way Snowstorm, but I love having DS close to me when he is sleeping

OP posts:

hairymclary · 02/10/2006 22:36

i was really sad when ds had to go into his own room. I loved being close to him

Snowstorm · 02/10/2006 22:41

I didn't sleep at all the first night with DD1 which was in hospital because I couldn't take my eyes off her - she was my first baby, the most beautiful baby in the world and she was mine! Her second night we were at home and she spent some of the night in a moses basket and the rest of the night in my arms. Third night and my mother came to stay and encouraged me to put DD1 into her own room next door. I'm not sure I would have had the courage to do this so early on had she not encouraged me but I trusted her with my DD because of her training and because she's my mother. I think the old-fashioned view was that it is important to look after your baby properly but it's also important to look after yourself so that you are more capable of looking after your baby ... if you see what I mean. At the end of the day, if you want your baby in your room and you are both comfortable with that then go for it but if you want the baby to sleep in it's own room and you are both comfortable with that, then that's okay too. Nobody I know is going to purposely do anything detrimental to their own child/children, we're all just doing our best.

Original poster

archiesmummy · 02/10/2006 22:47

Snowstorm, I'm sure noone here feels that you did the wrong thing. It's a personal choice.

I didn't sleep much either the first few nights, I'm sure this goes for a lot of us with a new, wonderful baby.
Thank you all for the replies.
I'm off to bed now, as DS is not sleeping well at all tonight.

OP posts:

Gobbledispook · 02/10/2006 23:01

Mine slept in the moses basket in our room but not for 6 months, as is recommended. Well, ds1 did as we were neurotic first parents. Ds2 lasted about 3 months and ds3 about the same.

They spent all their nap times in the nursery, in the dark, on their own during the day though.

All other factors being fine I don't really see the issue.

moondog · 02/10/2006 23:03

Hmmm,risk of SIDS significantly higher when baby left alone.
I didn't sleep really with mine in the room with us but actually I felt it wasn't about what was goodfor me,but rather what benefitted them.

hermykne · 03/10/2006 11:23

everyones knackered with new babies and only experience will allow you to know it passes, but being a first time parents they cant be expected to understand those mad parental feelings that hit you uponst birth.
as you said archiesmummy we are all different but the way i feel about it is, that bonding of baby sleeping on dh/p's chest as mercy says, and mum feeding if breastfeeding is so evocatvie for me i could honestly cry remembering those days with my two. of course it was hard but the huge emotional feeing outweighs the sleeplessness.
its where selflessness starts with alot of people.

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