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4month old won't relax before sleep...ideas?

5 replies

ktj88 · 25/10/2014 20:11

Hi all,

First time post here but avid reader. I have so far raised my DD (yeah, get me and the acronyms!) using google and various blogs/threads but cannot find ANYTHING to help me in this new situation which is quickly spiralling out of control.

17week old was in a brilliant E.A.S.Y routine which went like clockwork form about 8/9 weeks old. But for about 2 weeks it has all started to go wrong, naps not lasting more than 45mins and bedtimes becoming a proper battle. I think she is teething and possibly reaching milestones/wonder weeks (she is VERY alert/strong and can roll, sit in high chair and is now looking at us whilst eating which is a whole new issue as didn't want to wean earlier than 6months really).

Anyway, the problem is that whenever I try to put her down for a nap or bedtime, I face 10-15minutes of screaming first. We have ALWAYS followed the same routine just before any sleep, pull down blackout blinds, put on white noise and hum a few tunes standing/rocking to 'wind down' but always goes down drowsy, NOT ASLEEP. She almost always fudges around for a while then settles within 2-3mins cuddling a velvet bunny lovey. BUT NOW...rather than calming down, as I said above, we've started to get at least 15minutes of wrestling and screaming (angry type cry not pain) before she eventually 'calms' and I lay her down, so why the battle now after all these weeks??

I have tried putting her down slightly earlier, and slightly later (always looking out for those sleep cues!) We are now at the point where she misses her first sleep window as she is screaming through it, and having to calm/hum/walk for another 30+mins before she gets drowsy again, and then I am able to lay her down (drowsy but still AWAKE yes!) This in turn has made naps shorter, she used to easily do 1hr/1.5hrs but now is 45mins max and her bed times are getting later and later because she cries a lot first. Im struggling to keep to our lovely calm routine as I'm getting more frustrated!!
She mostly sleeps through the night...7/7.30pm bedtime, has a dream feed around 10pm and goes until 6am. She ALWAYS used to go to sleep again until 7.30am but now absolutely will not go back to bed which I think has thrown the EASY routine all out, which all has a knock on affect with naps and then next bedtime - could this be where its all stemming from? Should i move bedtime?

Anyone have any ideas or suggestions what I'm doing wrong here? Both dh and I dread putting her down to bed at the moment :(

p.s - Will absolutely not try CIO/CC, I feel like i've heard her cry too much already!

Thank you.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
hollie84 · 25/10/2014 20:17

There's usually a sleep regression around 4 months.

Is she breastfed? Could you feed her to sleep? Or rock her, put her in a sling or pushchair?

sleepingdragon · 25/10/2014 20:23

I am writing this as I try to get my 17 week old to sleep, so I don't have any wise words, but understand your pain! Google 4 month sleep regression- her sleep patterns have changed and she no longer goes straight into a deep sleep, so I think basically needs to learn how to go to sleep again. I will watch this thread to see if anyone comes along with tips on how to do this!

hollie84 · 25/10/2014 20:24

I would just get through the sleep regression any way you can - if she was a good sleeper before she will be again afterwards.

45 minute naps are pretty standard though!

sleepingdragon · 25/10/2014 20:25

I was reading a site yesterday that was saying from 4 months the 6am starts are here to stay, of was suggesting making bedtime earlier to compensate (advice I have failed to follow today!)

ktj88 · 25/10/2014 20:37

Wow - Just went up to check on sleeping beauty and came back to posts already! All good ideas.
Hollie84- No she is FF and really isn't a hungry baby, she downs bottles after naps whilst she is 'coming round' and then wants to play. I always try and give her a bottle before bed but she just plays with it as she just wants to look at me and touch my face (aaaww) and gets upset if I keep forcing it in (hence the dream feed when she doesn't notice!!)
Sleepingdragon - feel your pain, glass of wine and xfactor time??! Perhaps need to get used to the 6am start and put her down to bed at 6pm instead? Will try this for a few days and report back although not sure what to do about putting clocks back??!!

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