2 1/2 yo rubbish sleep patterns. Crazy pregnant me!

[HenriettaTurkey]

We have a problem with DS's sleep & for me it's becoming untenable. He is 2 1/2, will only settle for DH, and takes an hour each night (8-9pm). We start routine at around 7pm with pjs, story, milk. Then DH holds his hand and lies on floor next to him.

Ds screams if I try and do it (poss as I don't tell so many stories or hold hand)

Then DS wakes around 4am and DH heads straight in to lie under duvet on floor next to him. Again, DS screams if I try - and I am 6 months pg with SPD so signed off and can't lie on floor anyway.

DH currently in there, snoring. But when he tries to leave ds often wakes, so it can take well over an hour. I struggle to sleep during this time too, poss due to pregnancy insomnia.

DH then too knackered to get up with DS in morning so, even though I'm signed off with instructions to rest I often have to do it.

We are all grumpy & at the end of our tether but DH reluctant to leave DS longer to self settle at night and not sure how to change bedtime routine. I've tried showing him different books to read for tips (eg house of tiny tearaways) but DH not convinced any of this will work.

We were due to go away for 2 nights and leave DS with dgm &dgd but now only leaving for 1 night as DH thinks 2 is too much for DS.

DH is sahp & wonderful at this. His bond with DS is lovely.

My ds went through a stage where he would only go to sleep if someone was sat in the room with him...usually my dh. We did gradual retreat. Moving further away from the cot/ bed each night until you are out the door. Once there I would sing or talk to him until gradually we could put hin down and leave and he does self settle.
If he cried, well then he cried I'm afraid. We were always very close by and he could hear us. I'm pregnant too and there is no way I'm dealing with a new born and a non sleeping toddler! Good luck

My son is 2.2 now.

Thank you hen...they are now both asleep and I am wide awake! Have had about 3hours tonight. Considering giving up & going downstairs for toast.

Will try gradual retreat - could be very very gradual. Even 'no hand' seems daunting right now...

It really is for the best. Remember you are not abandoning him or leaving him to cry, you are right there:)

I am sat in room next to bed but not holding hand. He keeps climbing out and saying he wants daddy. DH is out tonight. I keep putting him back.

He's now saying 'I want a mummy cuddle' on repeat. Feel like I'm neglecting him.

How frustrating for you. Is he asleep yet? I was going to post requesting advice for similar tonight; DS takes well over an hour to go off every night and now, we actually get in the cot with him, desperate to speed up the process! So, unfortunately I've no advice but plenty of sympathy.

In the end, through his hot little tears, I held his hand. He was asleep in minutes. Beautiful boy.

Do you think maybe he's just not ready?

We had something similar with DD who's 3. We tried gradual retreat when she was a similar age to your son and got stuck at the not holding hand stage as she used to get so upset. We tried it again recently, think she was about 2.11 and she got it in 2 nights. Def a case here of not being ready for it, so it may be that in a couple of months time he'll pick it up very quickly.

I'd give it another go tonight though if you can face it-you never know!

Sympathies-we are in a v similar position of me being pregnant and DD waking some nights and DH sleeping in there with her on a blow-up bed, which isn't great. Mind you, DH will prob be grateful to be in there when the baby arrives and wakes every hour for a feed

Wow, Pete, you could be our doppelgängers but a couple of months down the line! Really reassuring to hear that a couple of months may make a difference. 3 months off due date!

Keep us posted with your progress!

We are at DGM and DGDs tonight (and for the next few nights) so they are going to put him to bed tonight (a bit late for the clocks). Hopefully, at the very least, this may give DH a bit of relief and help DS settle with someone else.

Ah...