Houdini 4 month old, struggling to sleep for any length of time.

[misshoohaa]

My 4.5 month DD is a complete poppet, but just isn't progressing with her sleeping.

I know at this age they have a regression but when she had never slept more than 3 hours at a time at night (and that would be good if done regularly!) and 40 minutes in the day can you really regress much?!

She won't sleep without swaddling but fights it constantly, then when she gets her hands out windmills them or rubs her eyes and head with her hands and can't resettle..... I've tried the double swaddle concept but she hated it and looks pretty uncomfortable.

Her nighttime waking are in a regular and pretty poor pattern of bed at about 7 then often waking about 9:30, 12 ish, 3ish, 5ish then 7ish for feeds and often in between then to wrap her back up as she's escaped.....and this has been going on for a long while.

She does has a dummy occasionally as otherwise she just wails and wails.....

I'm trying to just go with it but the exhaustion is getting pretty tiresome, I have a 3 year old so napping in the day ain't going to work.

Exclusively breast fed and no solids yet.

Any miracle suggestions or should I just wait it out?

I try and resettle without feeding and do leave her to self settle for day naps but she just struggles to sleep for any length of time. She's over 12 pounds now, so on the 25th centile so surely one slightly longer spell of 4/5 hours at night isn't too much to expect?

Hi. There's probably a lot you can do. She may be going to bed overtired and when that happens, babies fight sleep. You can look at narrowing down how long she's been awake for by 15 minutes and see if that helps. Once a baby is overtired, they produce the stress hormone cortisol, which fights sleep so getting her to bed before that point is ideal.

Thanks Sleepylambs she's usually put down about 90 minutes after she last woke as much as we can which seems about right for a four month old but perhaps as the day goes on I should try a little less awake time?

At 4 months with my DD I started co-sleeping for my sanity! If it's an option for you check the safety guidelines and maybe side car the cot? Feeding every few hours while laying down and dozing is so much easier than a fight with a swaddle blanket every two hours

Misshoohaa, you can look at the typical wake times for a 4 month old as 60-90 minutes so perhaps she needs to go down closer to the 60-minute mark. Start looking for tired signs earlier. After watching closely, you may find the right sweet spot for when she needs to go down to sleep before becoming overtired.

I am in the same boat here, co-sleeping means I get rest, but no idea how to fix it. Keep being told it's a phase x

I really could have written your post OP, my DS is practically the same!! Except he initially did sleep for very long spells but it's got gradually worse & worse....last night he woke & fed at 9.30 (earliest ever for him!) 1.30, & 4.30, then we all got woken up by 3yo at 6.30:( he nearly always poos in the night as well....

We use a woombie swaddle as like your DD his arms still wake him up if in a sleeping bag & he really can't get out of that! I think that does really help but he's growing out of it now so need to find a bigger one. I also bring him into bed in the early hours so I can feed & sleep which helps. I do try to settle him just with cuddles & dummy but it rarely works....

I keep swinging from thinking 'I need to fix this' to 'things will improve with time' & really not sure what I'll do if nothing changes. Keep telling myself that formula & food will make no difference despite what my family think!!!

Seasalt my MIL keeps asking about solids but I know it's not that easy.

We had one hideous night on Thursday where I saw every hour on the clock, and I was despairing but then back to the usual (although by no means good) 10:30, 1:30, 3:30 etc etc last night.

I am trying to stop the dummy particularly for falling asleep but when DD wakes, I'm not sure whether boob or dummy are actually much different for resettling her?

Patting and shhh's just ain't going to work.......

Both my two have been the same, they have to have their arms out of reach, even if they are on their chests in the swaddle they then become obsessed with trying to get them near their face and just rub them in their eyes, mouth etc but not in a comforting way!

We tried a love to dream swaddle but it just didn't work, I think the swaddle that alas they can escape from is the best option.

Grin and bear it seems to be the only option. Co sleeping - don't love it but I guess needs must, I'll look into the safety stuff as at the moment I'm just popping her in with me (DH hadn't been in our bed since DD arrived!) and moving all the pillows and making sure she's higher than my head so the quilt is only up to her tummy. I find it pretty hard to sleep though as we have a breathing alarm in her cot so feel much better when she is in there.

You can get zip up swaddles. Ones with arms up and one with arms by side. By love to dream I think, although tbh I'd be looking to get shot of the swaddle and accept a few nights terrible sleep as he learns his arms are free.

Do you swaddle for naps?