New mum help

[Mmolly2013]

My baby is nearly 2 months old, she sleeps in a cot in our bedroom. I'm trying to put her to bed a few hours before we go to bed to get into a routine but she takes ages to go down. It's as if she senses we aren't there and wakes up.

How do I fix this, do I basically continue to stay in the room for ages and going up and down until she gets it or is she still too young

The official advice is to have them wherever you are until 6 months so many people use a moses basket downstairs, for example. For us DS would not settle until about 11pm - in fact he was often most disturbed between 7 and 11, but I wanted to get him used to it being bedtime at 7 so we started a bedtime routine at about 12 weeks and then me or DH used to wear him in a sling with a sleep hood, or we would take it in shifts to sleep upstairs with him. This lasted until about 6months when we moved him into his own room. I personally wouldn't battle it as I doubt she's old enough to settle in the evenings alone.

Have you tried a dummy? Our DS1 is 8 weeks and has been going down around 7.30pm in our room (without us) for a few weeks now. He is usually awake when he goes down and self settles. We resisted a dummy at the beginning but after I was feeding him for comfort constantly we got one and it's been amazing for settling him to sleep. Sometimes I'll sit and 'shush' him for 5 mins but usually there's no need. It drops out when he's asleep and we don't need to use it through the night as he sleeps after his feeds.

Hi Molly, I am also a new mum to a 15 week old. She also sleeps in a cot in our room. When she was the same age as your DD she didn't usually go to sleep until we went up to bed, we used to do the last feed anywhere between 9pm and 10pm and then put her down afterwards. Although at that age we mostly rocked her to sleep.

We did a bedtime routine of pjs, sleeping bag, feed at first, then added in a bath first when she was about 9 or 10 weeks. At first we were doing it quite late, at 8:30pm to 9pm, and we just gradually brought it forward. We figured it was most important to do the same thing each night, even if it wasn't at exactly the same time. About 3 weeks ago she started signalling to us that she was tired even earlier, and now we start bedtime at about 6pm to 6:15, and she's in bed by 7. As soon as we take her upstairs to get her undressed for the bath, she relaxes as she knows soon it will be bedtime!

So I would say continue with your routine, but maybe don't worry about getting her to bed early. I know it's hard as you just want a couple of hours to yourself in the evening, but I think when she's a few weeks older she will be more likely to get tired early and settle herself.

Agree a dummy is worth trying, we did but DD just spat it out!

We also have the Angelcare sensor pad monitor, which means we're happy to have DD in bed in the evenings even though we're not in the room with her.

Good luck x

we use a dummy but in the early stages of sleep it falls out a lot and she will cry for it again, this could happen quite a few times.

we have a monitor that is fantastic so weve no issues with her being upstairs when we are downstairs. I will keep her routine going of bath then feed and in a few weeks times try to put her down to bed on her own. thanks

I expect you have hit the nail on the head! She knows you aren't there so wakes up. If you have a pram carrycot could she sleep downstairs in that during the evening? Much less stress than going up and down stairs all evening

We kept ours downstairs with us until they were about 20 weeks - it was less hassle than running up and down the stairs all the time.