Getting nagged by relatives..

[kokomaloko]

I'm still co sleeping & breastfeeding my two year old. I'm trying to wean her gently but she's not ready. I can only leave her with one friend that i go to toddler groups with & she plays happily at their house.

My mum & gran keep telling me I'm ruining my daughters confidence because I won't leave her with them (she never see's them & when she does she cries for me). And because I'm still breastfeeding they can't have her over night which apparently isn't normal. My daughter apparently isn't normal because she isn't happy to be left at nursery & I'm happy to wait until she is.

I've told my family I'll leave her with them over night when she's older and understands. AIBU?
It's at the point where I feel totally sick of them bossing me around but i can be a bit sensitive when it comes to my baby

Should add she's very confident when I'm there!

Purely because you are her mother, then YANBU.

Its not how I would (or have) do (done) things but we all raise our kids the way we want to and no-one should be telling you how else to raise your kids.

So in a round about way, YANBU.

You've said she never sees them - does that mean they never just come round to see her whilst you're there? Is that because they don't want to, or what?

I don't think any child would want to be left with people that don't see regularly. My daughter is 14 months and still breast feeding and she will cry if I leave her with people she doesn't know but will be happy if Iam around she plays well in play groups and interacts with kids well but she will not cope well with people she doesn't know and for my case it's because Iam a full time mum basically I rarely leave her so of course I expect her to behave the way she does with strangers but hopefully she will be ok by 2 and can I add it's hard to leave a breast feeding baby with anyone because thy tend to settle with booby only. So yep family and friends should gradually see and interact with your baby so both parties get used to each other

My DS is a little younger but exactly the same. I know grandparents would love to have him over night but realise its not possible yet.

I'm not sure what obsession with over nighters is anyway!

They should try spending some quality day time with her, like half hour at the park without you, building up to half days. Then when she is ready for sleepovers shes used to being with them.

So YANBU!

Thanks all. My family all live about an hour away in the car & my mum works 7 days a week so it has been tough to see her as much as they'd like. They want to have her overnight so i can have a break which I understand but we have very different views on CIO etc (I'm not wearing my judgey pants on this one, it's just not right for my daughters personality) (or mine). I don't trust them to respect that. My mum has taken her to the park and she loved it. It boils down to i want to wait until the breastfeeding is done and she sleeps through & understands it's just one night etc & enjoys it! but I'm so isolated was beginning to think they're right! But I'll stick to my guns, thank you

yanbu.
I have only left ds1 one night with my mum who I trust totally to look after him and he knows her really well. he wa over 2 at the time. I have no plans or need to have him stay with grandparents regularly, so they won't. don't let other people tell you how to parent. sounds like you are doing a great Job. I have just spent the last five weeks settling same ds into nursery he didn't want me to leave him. so very gradually I started by staying there, then leaving for just a little bit of time,.then slightly longer, this week he has done four three hour sessions with no tears! you are totally right to wait until she is ready, ds is now 3yrs 3m.

Your daughter your rules.

I'm mix feeding and not co sleeping but my baby's grandparents will not be having him overnight when he's 2 bar emergencies.

I am the same as you kokomaloko don't let anyone push you into doing something that your not happy with. Dd5 is 18 months and wouldn't dream of leaving her she is still bf and co sleeping and I will carry on until she's ready to stop.
If you did let your dd stay over night you would probably sit at home constantly worried and that's no break for you. Your dd and your choices. Plenty of years ahead when dd is older and if she wants to stay at her nannies she will say.

I really don't understand this obsession with GPs having babies overnight. My DD didn't stay overnight with her much-loved grandma until she was 4, and only then because I was in hospital.

There are years for her to stay overnight when she is older and wants to do it. DD is now 7 and loves nothing better than a sleepover at grandmas, but that is her choice.

YANBU. Mine's younger, 14 months, but you can't really leave a BF baby with anyone else for too long. I actually think the asking to have her stay overnight is probably to do with your family being uncomfortable with extended breastfeeding and wanting you to stop, in a roundabout way. I wouldn't leave my baby overnight with anyone, even DH, unless it was an emergency. It would not go well - no boobie! You sound like you're doing a great job, so stick to your guns.

My ds is 15 months and isn't bf, sleeps brilliantly in a proper bed by himself and I'm still not handing him over to someone else. and both sets of grandparents live 5 mins away and see him a lot. I don't want to. Also dh doesn't want him to stay anywhere yet either. Your baby your rules.
Don't feel bad and don't get bullied into something you don't want to do.

GPs do seem to get obsessed about this. It's about them pretending to be parents again, nothing to do with giving us a break.

I wish I had these type of GP offers for my two DS! They are 9 and 7 and have had one sleepover with GPs about a year ago, and never again since. I have asked them since then if they would have one of the DS overnight (as DS asked if he could!) but they said no.