problem with No Cry Sleep Solution, anyone else had this?

[kitbit]

Hi Wise Mumsnetters!

ds is 23 mths, and has never been able to settle himself to sleep. We have always helped him go to sleep at the start of the night (and for naps) and then to resettle when waking in the night. We are now trying Pantley's toddler version of the no cry book in order to help him learn how to do this for himself. It explains very clearly how to get them used to settling themselves by laying them down in cot or bed then sitting with them, then moving away the next night, then leaving the room etc etc etc. Lovely in theory, but what happens if the instant you put them down even when sleepy and sooo ready for sleep, and they wake back up fully again and stand up? There is no way ds will lie down if not completely asleep and sadly the book seems to skip this!

That's the hard bit for us - has anyone else's little one done this and how did you solve it?

TIA x

i would say to think of how you currently settle him and then make one small adjustment towards independence. if one thing doesn't work, try something else. how do you currently settle him to sleep?

Hi Kiskidee,
Before spring we had a great pattern - bath, milk, stories then he and I would go upstairs and sit quietly on his bed and he would drift off. Then the summer got hot (we live in Spain so it's very very hot every night) and he started to be less able to settle so we were back to rocking. Then in June it got too hot for rocking as we were both really hot and sticky so we had to rock him in the buggy. Although the weather has now started to cool off, he's now too heavy to go back to the rocking in arms and then gradually back to sitting quietly, so am struggling to get back to that point again.

When he wakes up in the night a cuddle does it, he seems to be OK settling with body contact and sometimes a drink if he's really awake as sucking helps him settle (hates dummies, has to be a bottle). But even when he's sleepy at bedtime he cannot do it himself without the movement.

Any ideas?

Hi Kitbit, we had a similar problem when ds was about 15 mths old (that was a year ago but will rack my brain to remember) - we used to rock him to sleep but sometimes he would go on his own so eventually we started to put him in his cot, he would then stand up and be crying etc but we just put him straight back down saying "its bed time, go to sleep" etc, he would maybe lie down for a few mins but then get back up, again put him straight back down and kept repeating the same but always being calm and quiet, I think this pattern did go on for about a week or so but eventually it did work.

Not sure if the same would work for you as your ds is obviously older and wiser. Hope things improve for you soon.

Hi Beaner,
Thanks for the brain racking! Sadly ds is a wiser as you say, and if he's even the slightest bit awake will go from standing quietly to bouncing and laughing, to getting really narked off if he's not allowed out and then there's no point in continuing as he needs to start the bedtime pattern from scratch again...aagh! However this might come in handy further down the line when things have hopefully changed a bit, so thanks!

i haven't had time lately kitbit. not ignoring you.

Don't worry kiskidee, just v grateful that you can spare any time at all!!!

kitbit, my dd is only 17 months so maybe i can learn a bit from you. or i will yet eat my words. my dd used to always fall asleep on the boob. i am now at the point where i will feed her in the dark and then when she pops off on her own or when i think she's had enough, i put her in her cot.

if she is pretty awake, she becomes more awake like your ds and will stand in her cot and banter on. i let her banter on, basically ignoring her. i am at the point where i will lie on the rug quietly, a bit away from the cot and just listen. sometimes doze off even. when she begins to fuss, i go over, pick her up cuddle and or feed her and then put her back, calmer but sometimes awake or sometimes half asleep.

If she is still awake, she will chunter on some more and probably beg to be cuddled again. But after put back each time, she is quieter and after 2 or 3 times, just drifts off on her own.

At first i would put her to lie down and simply say 'lie down'. there was some tears but would put her down and sometimes cuddle her if it made her too upset. now, either dh or I stay in and say 'lie down' and she does smiling away. tonight though she was very active, in the dark, but she stayed lying down 95% of the time just chuntering away.

Like you, we did things over the summer that put any 'sleep program' back a few steps. It took just under an hour tonight. I suspect that if i had set ourselves a 'sleep plan' it would be taking less time but we had to enjoy the warm summer nights with her while we could so sleep program begone.

I am philosophical about it as it won't last forever and just lying in her room in the dark listening to her banter and sing is something to listen and enjoy as she is only a baby once and for a fleeting time in our lives. but i am not aiming (yet) for sleeping thru.