#2 won't nap - what am I doing wrong? Sorry long post

[Angelfish]

Help - am completely desperate....
DS#2 (4.5 mo) is sleeping well at night (down at 6.30, one feed and awake again at 6am - managed this through cc a couple of weeks ago) but during the day it's another story. I put him down after approx 2 hours when he's tired and needs to sleep but he just cries and cries in his cot. I've tried leaving him to cry (doesn't seem to work, its 30 mins in and he's still going), patting him asleep (doesn't work as he wakes up within 5 mins)... Don't understand what I'm doing wrong...
And as he doesn't sleep, it means by midmorning he's depserate and overtired etc
I'm sooo worried - how can I be getting it so wrong (never had this prblem with DS #1) I am in tears most of the time, dreading nap times, fighting with DH...
Help please :-(

my ds1 suffered from colic throughout the day, whatever time, which made it impossible for him to be settled during the day - unless - i took him out. now the nicer weather is on it's way, you could take him out for a walk in an attempt to settle him. i know you'll be out of the house, not able to get on with things - but if you're going through this routine every day you can't get on with anything anyway. Perhaps he's just getting to a stage, where he isn't as tired during the day, especially as he appears to sleep so well at night. just remember, you're not doing anything wrong, try not to compare with your DS1, because they are all different and, pllllease don't cry, this won't last forever

Huge sympathy, but sounds like the night sleep is going great so congrats on that..do you think he worries that he's missing out on something by sleeping during the day? I actually never put dd in her cot for daytime sleeps, she sleeps in her chair in the lounge with her music on and me reading nearby. (Or in her pram/carseat when we're out and about). She also took really well to a muslin comforter, which she pulls up to her face when she's tired. I think when I give her that she sees it as a sign that it's nap time. Sorry I can't suggest anything more helpful, but it doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong..you're just trying to do what you know he needs - but he's fighting it.

Lots of sympathy but it could be worse. At 4.5m my #2 wouldn't be put down at 10am, woke several times during the night for breast feeds, slept till 8am then no sleep during the day - just a 15min nap, then cried to be fed.
I sorted getting her to sleep at night by being cruel - just put her down and walked away - to the bottom of the garden!
Have you tried taking him out in the buggy or car for a walk/ride - supposed to put them to sleep tho didn't work for me - or playing quiet music to let him know someones around? Good luck.

Know just how you feel - my DD is now almost 8 mths. She hasn't been sleeping well at night or during the day but we seem to be getting things somewhat sorted. We started CC to get her to sleep nights so she does 7-7 with usually one waking for a quick b'feed. Today we actually got her down for a morning nap with only 10 mins crying!!!! Try making a real ritual before the nap - I gave her a cuddle and baby massage in a darkened room and then read a story and popped her down with some really quiet classical music. It worked - hopefully we might even get a nap this arvo.... Good luck

Thanks for the support everyone - it really helps...
Eventually got him to have a 45 min nap this am, after 2*20 mins of him crying and going in to pat him on the back... At least its some sleep. We're now trying to go for nap 2, but I think maybe I am just expecting him to be tired rather than waiting for him to show the signs... To be honest, I'm so tired I'm not sure I know what I'm looking for anymore.
Unfortunatley, DS#2 HATES the car seat and doesn't seem to want to nap for very long in the pushchair either (again v. diff to #1).

At least DS#1 has gone for a nap early today, so we may at least get 30 mins to ourselves. Here's hoping

Ooh, its gone quiet upstairs after only 6 mins crying - here's hoping.

Happy Easter Sunday anyway to everyone...

Good luck Angelfish I know how hard this can be. I used to take dd out in the pram for all her daytime naps which were always short, 30-45 mins each. It did change though when she was about 9 months and started settling in the cot in the day and having longer sleeps in there. 4.5 months is still so young I wouldn't bother with CC or anything like that until at least 6 months, I don't think they get it until they're a bit older.

Angelfish, I've been having a problem a bit like this and I think it might be ok now. Part of the problem was that my DS (3.5 months) was getting overtired in the day and so it was harder to get him to accept sleep. Some really long walks in his wilkinet, where he does sleep, seem to have helped establish the habit of naps and for the last few days I've been able to get him down for a nap without much screaming and kicking. Would a papouse or pram sleep help you in the same way?

...I should add that I don't think a 45-minute walking-nap would have done it, and I spent three mornings walking for 2.5 hours. Hey, it's one way of getting fit...