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Sleep

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Original poster

is five weeks to young to create bad sleep habits?

32 replies

tomatoandcheese2009 · 09/10/2014 20:44

Five week old DS goes to bed pretty happily at 7.30 after bath and feed and has his longest sleep following this (still only 3-4 hours, although he once went 6). Then wakes up every hour of so until 4. The only way to get him to sleep after 4 is to let him sleep on me on the sofa bed. If I give in and let him do this we both get another 2.5 to 3 hours so he clearly is still sleepy, just won't settle in the cot. The extra sleep is pretty crucial to me getting through the day, but I'm worried I'm creating a bad habit that we will struggle to break. Anyone know when babies start to develop bad habits? He clearly has sleep associations already bearing in mind the success of the bedtime ritual.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

gamerchick · 09/10/2014 20:49

No. Do what works because it will change at some point.

It's all about go with the flow when they're little.

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 09/10/2014 21:17

Far too young to worry.

But is the sofa bed firm enough for safe co sleeping. Why not in your own bed?

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 09/10/2014 21:18

Oh, and what does 'on me' mean?

vichill · 09/10/2014 21:22

Do whatever makes the baby happy at this stage. They will have a primal instinct to stay very close to a trusted warm person when so new to the world. It's too early to tell if you have a good sleeper or a bad un. In a few months you may find he's sleeping through. If not you'll find a way to cope. Enjoy being so loved and needed.

TwoKidsAndCounting · 09/10/2014 21:23

Way too young to worry. Small babies need to feed often

VeryLittleGravitasIndeed · 09/10/2014 21:31

No. He barely understands that he's not part of you at 5 weeks. Go with your instincts and do what works.

Original poster

tomatoandcheese2009 · 09/10/2014 22:19

Very happy to continue as long as we aren't creating problems for the future. At what point should I try to stop it though?

Penguins, I've also been concerned about the safely aspect (don't believe bed sharing is safe). Sofa bed seems like the best option because it comes without extremely wiggly and deep sleeping DH who always has a few drinks before bed. It's one of those futon ones so no cracks between cushions to worry about and has a firm mattress. I leave it as a sofa and have him lying on his back between the back and me so there is no way he could fall. Then I sleep curled up on my side with my knees braced against the back so I can't roll over onto him. I'm also a very still sleeper generally. Would be happier with him in his own cot but it feels as safe as I can make it. Would welcome any tips to make it safer though.

OP posts:

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 09/10/2014 22:23

Bed sharing can be safe if done safely. Sofa sleeping generally isn't I am afraid. If you have a Google there are guidelines online about safety. Think FSID has one. It probably needs to be your DH who pops off to the sofa.

VeryLittleGravitasIndeed · 09/10/2014 22:28

DD and I co-slept with the Moses basket pushed up against the side of the bed and a pillow stuffed in the gap, so I was always in between her and DH. We do have a king bed though, so enough room for 3.

TeaandHobnobs · 09/10/2014 22:33

I agree, it ought to be you and DS in the bed, as I don't think the two of you on the sofa bed with it in sofa mode sounds safe.
Also, why the hell is DH having a few drinks before bed every night?! That doesn't sound very supportive...

gamerchick · 09/10/2014 22:34

Sofa sleeping really isn't safe. I thought when you said sofa bed it was pulled out.

I Co slept and it's a lot safer than a sofa. I just made a bed for them on top of the bed. No sharing blankets etc. Can your bloke take the sofa bed for the minute if he has a drink?

There is no fear of bad habits at this age and you have a few growth spurts to go through before it even nudges a concern. You just do the sleep thing as you can and it works itself put as they get bigger.

Keep the bedtime routine..its the building blocks to later on. It comes into its own.

Original poster

tomatoandcheese2009 · 09/10/2014 22:35

Sadly he won't go in his Moses basket anymore. In fact I use it as a way of waking him up for naps if he needs to feed as it is a sure fire way to wake him.

I thought the issue with sofas was to do with gaps in cushions? Ours has one long continuous mattress that makes up the seat and back when as a sofa, so no gaps to worry about and the mattress is as firm as the one on our bed. No way DH would agree to move as he is already against the baby sleeping anywhere but his own cot.

OP posts:

CountBapula · 09/10/2014 22:43

Ah, well, in that case, hand the baby over to DH to settle in the cot, snuggle down in bed and pop some earplugs in. After a couple of hours of trying to settle him in the middle of the night, he might come round to your way of thinking

VeryLittleGravitasIndeed · 09/10/2014 22:43

"No way DH would agree to move as he is already against the baby sleeping anywhere but his own cot."

Ok. Well leave it to your DH to get him to settle in his cot then. You should have a nice relaxing bath or something while he tries that...

CountBapula · 09/10/2014 22:44

Haha, x-post...

VeryLittleGravitasIndeed · 09/10/2014 22:44

Ha. X posts with Count.

VeryLittleGravitasIndeed · 09/10/2014 22:44

milkwasabadchoice · 09/10/2014 22:45

If dh isn't doing night feeds or helping out at night, I don't think he gets much of a say in where the baby "ought" to sleep! However, to me your futon arrangement sounds ok safety wise, if not ideal.

When to change? When it feels right! The whole "bad habits/ rod foe own back" bollocks is a myth I think. Babies, and their needs and their habits, and the needs of their parents change a lot in the early months. Don't panic about bad habits. Just enjoy your snuggly extra hours.

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 09/10/2014 22:46

It isn't just about gaps in cushions. There are other issues. Including suffocation risk from the vertical back surface, space, rolling etc. I agree with the other posters. if your DH doesn't 'agree' he is on settling duty.

gamerchick · 09/10/2014 22:48

Your baby should never lie between a back of a sofa and you. I understand where you're coming from about not moving but it doesn't take long for a baby to suffocate. They can't turn and adjust at that age.

I won't comment on your bloke being obstructive but please pull the sofa out tonight.

gamerchick · 09/10/2014 22:49

Xposts

Original poster

tomatoandcheese2009 · 09/10/2014 23:02

Glad I asked! Will get DH to pull out sofa tomorrow - can't do it now as requires some furniture rearranging and he's at work. May just have to be sleepless tonight. Or perhaps try to get comfy on the floor...

Am probably misrepresenting DH out of frustration. He's a v supportive dad and does a lot during the day, but works shifts that sometimes require him to finish at 3 in the morning then start again at 10 the next day so really needs his sleep. His issues with where the baby sleeps are as much about safety as about creating good habits.

OP posts:

VeryLittleGravitasIndeed · 09/10/2014 23:19

But you have a sofa bed? I'm sure he'll be ok on that...

For reference, I went back to (full time, very stressful, with a long commute) work when DD was 5.5 months. She still hasn't slept for more than about 4 hours, more often 2-3 hours, at 9 months and I'm still night feeding so it's me that does all night wakings. I need sleep too, but I'm managing without it. I suggest you welcome him to the sleep deprivation land that is parenthood.

PenguinsIsSleepDeprived · 10/10/2014 07:44

I don't mean to sound aggressive, but why on earth would you sleep on the floor rather than your DH sleeping on the sofa? Yes, he needs his sleep, we all do. But we also all have to make adjustments for a tiny baby.

LittleBearPad · 10/10/2014 08:47

Why can't DH sort out the sofa bed for tonight. He doesn't sound helpful

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