Hi everyone
Sorry this may be a tad long....
I hope someone can help me with a problem that's been going on for a couple months now. Basically, my daughter who has just turned 4, has ALWAYS been a 'perfect' sleeper. I've been able to put her to bed at 7pm after bath and book, and she would happily say goodnight have a kiss and a cuddle and I wouldn't see her again til 7am the next morning. This routine has worked since she was 18 ish months old.
Fast forward to today... Alot has changed over the past couple months (which is what I think has encouraged this regression to occur) We are in the process of buying a house, and have been temporarily living at my in laws whilst we wait for the house to be ready. I have had to stop her going to pre school temporarily also, as the distance is too far to travel at the moment. Thirdly.. I am 27 weeks pregnant with our 2nd DD, however DD1 has shown absolutely no signs of distress, jealously towards the pregnancy, in fact she has seemed very excited since we told her!!
Now here's the problem, - about 2 months ago, after a very normal bed time, she woke up the next morning and told us that she had had a dream... she explained it very thoroughly.. in her words ' I was in a car.. but no one was driving, and I was on my own, I could see you mummy on the pavement, but the car was driving away from you, why did you leave me?'
We reassured her it was just a silly dream, made a light hearted joke about it, giggled... and I presumed all would be forgotten. Then a couple nights after that, she woke up crying in the middle of the night... that's VERY unusual for her, but I just cuddled her back to sleep and all was fine. A few nights after that, she suddenly became extremely overwhelmed at the thought of bedtime, and after our stories, she continued to ask where I was going, what I would be doing downstairs etc... this continued for a few more nights.. then she began to get very upset about me leaving her to fall asleep on her own, as I said, this has never been a problem, so I was a bit taken back by it and told her that I was going to make Daddy's dinner and would return in a while to check on her...
Then she started waking in the night, crying hysterically... shouting for me... I (think) I made the mistake of allowing her to sleep with us.. it was just for a couple of nights... I thought it was a small phase that she would quickly get over...
But its gotten worse, and now we are at the stage where she wont go to sleep without me lying with her..( in a double bed in another room) as she now refuses to sleep in her bedroom.. then I tiptoe out after she has dropped off... hoping she will sleep through, but she wakes without fail, about 2-3 hours later...
Often, at this point I'm not ready for bed... so she either has to stay up with us until I'm ready to go to bed, or I have to give in and go to bed with her. Then sleep with her all night.
If I try to leave she cries... alot...
I'm at a loss, I'm worried I have made the situation worse by sleeping with her.. but I'm pregnant.. and tired..
I miss my evenings with my husband, he doesnt get back from work til 8pm, so we literally only spend a couple of hours a day with each other before we sleep separately.. I love my daughter dearly but this situation is far from ideal!
I thought I would know how to fix it.. but when it comes to your own child and your emotions become involved its a great deal harder ha!
Please help