Co-sleeping : how can you persuade daddy it's a good thing?

[susanmt]

I would love to co-sleep with my new son, but my husband is worried it will get him into bad sleep habits. I had planned to co-sleep with my daughter but was on antidepressants which made me sleepy so it wasnt possible. I have slept with ds when dh is away overnight and loved it - hoe do other daddies feel about it?
Thanks

Put a time limit on it - eg six weeks or something, and then say that you will review it together. I think you need to give him some sense that your bed is for the two of you, its the one time you can be alone together, and its important for him to know that. On the other hand, if you and baby like to be together, then he might like to give it a try. He might even take turns with the baby cuddling him not you. Good luck. Bee

What happens when you want some 'quality time' together and you've got a toddler in the bed? I've always wanted to ask that question. And please don't tell me you resort to the kitchen table! I can understand people having a new baby in the bed, but I just can't see how you can carry on with this once the child gets older? I mean, if you have the baby all day and in with the pair of you all night when do you get time to be alone? What about if you have 2 children brought up this way? When do you have time for each other and each other alone? When are you just you and not someone's parent? Does it all work out somehow or what? It's something I've never considered for all the above reasons, and that my friend did it and when the new baby came along she had to put 2 door gates one above the other to stop number 1 child absolutely outraged, trying to get back into what he saw as his bed with all the screaming and howling that that created and with a new baby in the house. She was so tired and unhappy, I vowed I wouldn't do it. It must work for some people but its definitely not for me.

I agree with Maryz. When DP saw how much easier it was to have dd with us (especially for b/f), rather than having to go get her, he relented. We did not solely co-sleep - but for times when she was particularly fussy, I would always bring her in to bed - and when we moved into our house in January, she went right into her room, sleeping through the night(she was 9 mos. then).

We still bring her in with us (they are both right now curled up fast asleep upstairs together - she woke at 7:00 - too early, but has some teeth coming in and is fussy), if she has a rough night - she falls right asleep when lying between us.

It is definitely a bonus for midnight feeds early on (if you are b/f). Often, she and I would barely wake for them...

Don't think anyone's answered Kia's query but where there's a will there's a way, lol! There's always the opposite end/side of the bed from where the baby is sleeping, or there might be a spare bed in another room, or the rug in front of the fire in the living room. Sometimes the baby falls asleep elsewhere so you can take your chance then, too. HTH!!

I don't know about co sleeping - I've just shared a room with my 4.5month ds for the first time since christmas. Admittedly, he did have a cold - but what a racket!!!! snuffle, wriggle, sigh, suck suck on the thumb - the nightime chorus was endless.... He slept soundly, of course, while I was a nervous wreck! We are home tonight, and I was so happy to put him in his own room again. How do any of you manage it? - I always liked the idea but after a week of NO sleep when he was first born and we tried it me and dh gave up pretty quickly!

We have come to a compromise - ds goes in his cot at bedtime (about 8.30) and then comes into our bed for his feed at 3am or so and stays and it is great we are both really enjoying it. All 3 of us really. Dh says it's lovely to wake up with him all cosy beside us and then dd joins us when she wakes. And we still get the first half of the night to ourselves

Hi Susanmt, that's lovely to hear. Although I didn't have partner in bed with me I used to do the same with my dd. It is a nice arrangement and then when the time comes when he starts sleeping through the night you 'might' have less trouble getting him to sleep in the cot - if that is what you want.

I miss co-sleeping now and even had a lovely snooze with my dd (28 months) in my bed the other day just because it felt so nice to be that close to her again!

Interesting thread this ! Susanmt, I had my dd in bed with me on and off for the first 12 weeks, mainly because I would feed her lying down and fall asleep. Her crib was right next to our bed and dh never minded. Had I said I wanted her to sleep with us all the time though I think he might have done. He wanted her to move into her own room at 10 weeks, then 12 and eventually she didn't move until about 15 weeks. However, I have to say that she sleeps much better and so do we. I do agree with Manna, when dd slept in the same room as us recently when we went away at Easter both dh and I slept really badly for all her little sleep noises. I do love her to come into bed for a cuddle and I would probably have her in with me if dh was away but generally I do love the time we have together on our own now in bed. I think everyone feels differently about it. I think you do have to agree on it though and especially once the baby is older and it's not because you are feeding during the night then it needs to be a joint decision. However much you love and adore your children, it is still really important to have some time for you.