Crying when laid down in cot at bedtime

[grove10]

My baby is just 4 months and for quite a while has always been inconsolably upset when laid down in his cot at bedtime around 7.15pm. Up until this point he is often relatively calm but the lowering into the cot seems to trigger a strong reaction in him and we always have to resort to using the soother in order to calm him down which does actually work but would prefer him not to get too dependent on it. Has anyone got any ideas what this could be? We wondered if perhaps he feels a bit abandoned at the point he is left in his cot even though i'll often sit beside him for a while and make comforting sshing noises. He has a well established bedtime routine - bath and relaxing music etc and a little bit of holding after his feed immediately prior to bed.

It could be that it's going from a warm close space in your arms, to a cold open space.

In my DS case it was because lying flat caused him pain after a rapid birth and he had cranial osteopathy which solved the problem.

thank you MrsMinton - could well be that. Although sometimes we have another scenario whereby he's put down and is fine for some minutes and then suddenly starts hysterically crying. Had wondered if it was separation anxiety but thought at 4months that was perhaps a bit young. He's largely a really lovely baby natured otherwise.

The getting upset after settling could be wind moving as he stretches out maybe?
My two both just loved being close. They still have no idea of personal space at 10 and 6 and still sit leaning on us/up us and climb in bed for cuddles!

Thanks, he is winded quite well before bedtime so am not sure it's that although know that's a common cause of crying when a baby is laid flat and in discomfort. He also gets upset (but to a much lesser extent) when he's put down for his morning nap even though he's obviously tired. Is it a bad habit to give him the soother to help him sleep?

I don't think so personally. My two had them and gave them up when they were ready. If it helps him settle then it's worth it.

Is it just that he'd rather be having cuddles? If the soother works, go for it. It has been brilliant for DS (now 1yr) and as he only has it to sleep it doesn't worry me. When he was tiny the other things we did were - warm his bed before he went down (using a microwave wheat bag - popping it in for a few mins) and having his cot at an angle (he had reflux).

I think most babies cry a bit before settling to sleep. My dd screamed, my ds moans. Someone explained it to me that as adults we rarely fall asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow -we need to wind down a bit. Sone babies are more vocal about it than others.

Good point, mewkins. DS cried before he slept every single time until he was about 9months. I have conveniently forgotten that

Thanks so much everyone for your reassurance about it being so 'normal' to cry before sleeping, also the soother being ok. It is v effective in calming him down but suppose just wanted to feel i could comfort himself without having to rely on an external aid. Probably like everything else it's a stage he'll soon pass through, just always makes me a little sad his day always ends in tears.

Doe she make any attempt to sucj his fingers? My ds is just a few weeks younger and just started to suck his fingers and control them better. My dd started to syck on her blanket at around 5 months which was useful as that helped her get to sleep and blankie was a lot easier for her to locate in her cot. Coyld try introducing a comforter /muslin /blanket?

Mewkins - yes, DS does suck his hand a lot, just started to a week or so ago although doesn't always do so when put down. I hadn't been sure with the hand sucking whether it was as a comforter, a way of exploring or even perhaps the start of teething. Had thought of a comforter/ blanket but was advised to have nothing in the cot due to risks.

Yes ds is the same but tends to suck his hand when sleepy. Have a look at Cuskis -they are safe comforters suitable from birth.