Anyone else want to put their head through a window over their 2yo's sleeping??

[MonkeyAllen]

Or just me? literally at my lowest point in months tonight. Have posted before about my DD's awful sleep but last couple of weeks it is just unravelling to the point of unbearable.

She is 23 months - used to go straight to sleep, would wake up once or twice during the night but settle back fairly quickly, still had one night feed (I know I know), and then up for the day between 5am and 630. I thought that was bad but now -

Will not go to sleep alone for either naps or night. I have to be in the room - don't understand why as room is pitch black so she can't see me but as soon as I even stealth style try and leave the room it is 'mummy mummy' in panicked voice. I have tried to just leave her but hysteria doesn't even cover it, she is like a wild beast. Today it took me one hour to sneak out. Then anywhere from 4 to 5 wake ups during the night, during which one of them normally involves me crashing on her floor. Naps are the same.

Sorry this is really long but feels good just to moan. I really don't think I can cope much longer. I was tired before but now I actually feel ill from it. I worry I'm setting bad habits, worried I'm messing up her up as she is exhausted and ratty in the day.

Please help - anyone else gone through/going through this around 2 years old? I have goggled until my brain hurts and seems there is a sleep regression/sep anxiety phase at this point so clinging into this, but no idea how to handle it.

Just wanted to offer sympathy. Mine is same age and we haven't had anything like as tough but he has suddenly decided I have to sit in with him to go to sleep at night, whereas naps he will just go off happily so I know he can do it! And he'll settle with less fuss for my DP too so again, frustrating to know he can do it. We've got another coming at new year so am anxious about bedtime for 2 of them with him like this. He's also started some random night wakes - last night awake for 2.5 hrs for absolutely no reason. When I finally dropped back off myself I then dreamed I was putting him to bed... Only in my dream it was twins...!

Anyhow, other than offering this kind of useless twaddle to try to show that I think this might be A Stage, all I can suggest is perhaps a sleep consultant? My sister has found that incredibly useful. Not cheap but maybe worth it if you're feeling ill from it? Good luck xxx

Dc2 had this. It is vile. It will pass. But do anything you can to get through it. I used to make sure that I had eaten before trying to put her to bed as at least if I wasn't hungry I could doze off on her floor. She will mostly sleep now (3) but likes to be in a room with someone else. Thankfully Dc1 is tolerant

God yes - don't do it on an empty stomach. Excellent tip!

We've had a bumpy few weeks with our 23 mo. She seemed to be having really bad separation anxiety and disliked the dark. So, after spending the last 18 months obsessively making her room absolutely pitch black, we've started to use a night light.

Sympathies. We had this at 2 with our son. I remember having some nights when i was at my wits end. I worked out after putting up with this for a while that he was transitioning to not needing daytime sleep. I also made sure that he had loads of physical activity in the day to tire him out. I would also say that at this age they are far more aware of their surroundings and I would think very frightened of the dark. I would leave the bedroom door open with the light on on the landing. She needs to know that you are near to reassure her. I would try putting her down, walking out but making some sort of noise upstairs so she knows that you are near e.g. Tidying up. My dd still can't settle herself without being frightened if I go downstairs. She just needs to be able to hear me shuffling around upstairs in order to be reassured enough that she can go to sleep and she is 7. Good luck. I feel your pain!

Yes, just gone thru it and we are past it! We did gradual retreat. It worked a dream. She developed terrible separation anxiety out of the blue. She's just turned 28 months. It happened at the start of August. She would not nap at all even if we were in the room or not. And bedtime we had to be sat right next to her for her to sleep. Then many night wakings to follow. We started gradual withdrawal with night time where we sat right next to her til she was asleep. Lots of reassurance but don't get them out or give in to their demands. Took about a week for her to settle easily. Once at this stage you move like 6 inches towards the door. Stay here for about 3/4 days then move another 6 inches. Repeat til you're out the door. Then sit outside and close the door a little like you moved the chair. Its fucking boring and repetitive but now we kiss her and she lays for about half an hour chatting and then falls asleep no problem. Best thing I ever did. As for night wakings, we would go in, settle her then leave. After about a month of g.w she stopped waking in the night. Naps we still have problems, but I put her in the car when I know she's sleepy, drive for 5 mins round the block and then transfer her from car to crib when she's asleep and she sleeps fine. I'm happy with this but I understand its not for everyone. Good luck, it was a nightmare when she was going thru s.a, it went as quickly as it arrived and she's fine now.

I would also second what jellymaker has said - leaving the door slightly open and being 'around' upstairs for a few minutes after you put her down.

My 22 Month old is going through the exact same thing at the moment. We recently moved house, we had previously been cosleeping but it got to the point where we couldnt any more because we were so cramped in bed. Anyway shortly after moving we made the decision to get him in his own room, first few nights were awful then he seemed to settle. However, this past week he has totally reverted... Ive never agreed with the cry it out method, but we finally caved in and did controlled crying which took almost an hour for him to fall asleep . I felt like a terrible mummy, and very guilty but I am at the point where I cant take it anymore. I know he falls asleep at nursery by himself, and its frustrating that he plays up for us.... I was literally spending an hour lying next to him for him to go off, if I tried to sneak off before he was fast asleep he would wake, go mental and then I would have to start the whole process again. Me and OH are going to be very strict with him. We are TTC no 2, and finding it difficult with a child who refuses to go to sleep on his own.

OP, your thread title made me chuckle as I feel your pain.

My DC2 (25 months) is the same...except she gave up her nap not long after her 1st birthday).

One thing I console myself with is the knowledge that it's not my fault, it's just her character. My DC1 napped well until 2 years and slept all night from 11 months.

Keep taking it one day at a time, it will get better.

Our ds is 26 months and has been going through phases of this on and off since around 18 months. We just do whatever is needed until it passes- sleep on floor in room, cuddle to sleep, co sleep if needed. The worst phase was for 3 months but usually passes within a couple of weeks. Good luck, it's hideous to feel so sleep deprived

Oh I momentarily wondered if I had written this post myself, in a sleep deprived fug. Just, ditto. I haven't shared a bed with poor neglected dh for 2 or more weeks now. We have ended up putting her in her big bed which so far has been working ok .

Glad to hear there's a reason for it. Even more glad to hear it passes!

Ok so from responses it seems maybe it's an age thing. I'm so down about it apart from being shattered. It's bad enough having the night wakings but not having an evening as well is killing me, I feel like we are attached at the hip. I tried a nightlight but it made it worse as then she would wake up and see I wasn't there. I could try gradual retreat but again the issue isn't she needs anything from me, I literally sit in the dark but as soon as she hears that door opening that's it, bloody murder screaming.

I really appreciate all the replies, as always it is crap other people are going through it but at least I can reassure myself it's not just my bad parenting that is causing it!

Ds 25 mo is doing this - he's in a bed so waking at night is easier as I just get in beside him and fall asleep but I can spend hours sitting next to him to try and get him to sleep. I think he is in nap transition zone too

28 month old going through the exact same here. Previously an excellent sleeper, now out of nowhere she's afraid of the dark (but a night light makes it worse), has to have someone with her to get to sleep and so we have no evening, then she wakes through the night and runs into our room screaming and we have to start all over again, which can take over 2 hrs at a time. My 4mo is a better sleeper!

I'm at my wits end here too, but no words of wisdom, just tea and sympathy.

Yes feel like that most of the time too! Also have 23 mo dd. She has always been a pretty shoddy sleeper and I feel like I'm partly to blame as I can't do the controlled crying thing...have tried a few times, she literally screams for hours...and I am also guilty of feeding her to sleep at times too.

We had been making some progress with gradual retreat but as soon as any little disruption happens, illness, staying the night at grandparents house etc we're back to square one with screams if I dare even move from her side. It's just so frustrating as like you, I know she is fully capable of putting herself to sleep, and it would make life so much easier/more pleasant/less bloody stressful for everyone! I had a full on rant at her about this last night (neighbours must think I'm insane!)

Let's hope they do grow out of it very soon!

Resurrecting this thread as we're having yet another bloody nightmare sleep regression here.

Dd 2.4 and is being so naughty at nap/bedtime. I think she's old enough (and I'm desperate enough) for some 'tough love'. Dh isn't so tired sure.
She keeps asking for more drink/cuddles etc and saying she's not tired and doesn't want to sleep. She IS tired. Every bedtime is a screamfest and I'm seriously losing my patience with her. Please help!!

I feel your pain, DS2 who is now 2.9 has just started doing this, it has coincided with potty training but other than that it has been pretty much out of the blue. From going to bed perfectly happy on his own and waking after 11/12 hours sleep to refusing to sleep without us being in the chair in his room and then waking 2 to free times a night, coming into our bedroom where we put him back in his bed and have to sit back in the chair until he falls a sleep which can be anything from 5 minutes to an hour. My DH and I both work and my DS1 is sharing a room with him so at the moment any crying in the night we try to limit for fear DS1 will be woken. We are thinking of trying CC and putting DS1 in the spare room for a couple of weeks and see if we can crack it. Any thoughts, tips, helpful suggestions would be much appreciated. Or is this just a phase and we are blowing it our of all proportion, I am struggling to get through the day.

Thank the lord! Someone else is going through the same! All my friends kids sleep like little angels and we have a little she devil when it comes to nighttime!
She usually goes down fine but then wakes around midnight moaning for anything and everything, me and my husband have had enough so are trying with a gate on her door.
We tried constant putting her back to bed and staying in her room but doesn't seem to be working for us!
Last night was 2nd night with gate, didn't moan for as long but still waking
Lets all hope these 'phases' will end for good soon and we can all get much needed sleep!!

Oh my god - thank goodness we're not alone! DS2 (25 months) has never been the greatest sleeper, but has recently stopped even settling to sleep by himself. We try to settle him and leave - he cries. We try to ignore him, put him back in bed and leave - he cries. Sometimes he even cries if we leave once he's asleep - he'll stir at some point in the night and then scream when he sees you're no longer by the side of his bed. I'm expecting DC3 and work full time so am absolutely exhausted. I really don't know what to do with him!

Ours improved for couple days now back to waking up through the night screaming! When it gets to 5am she won't get back to bed at all ?? I'm loosing the will!!