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3 year old still waking several times a night. Please help! I can't cope anymore.

6 replies

LaPetiteCoccinelle · 30/09/2014 17:56

DS1 is just 3. He's always been a bad sleeper because he has reflux (still on medication now) and because his brain just doesn't seem to switch off so he slept sat up/rolled/crawled/talked etc.

Recently we went to get his tonsils checked because he snores/sweats/has nightmares etc. Classic sleep apnea signs. The Dr said we need to take his tonsils out but couldn't do it until he was 3. But when we went back when he was old enough it seems that his tonsils have shrunk (!) and the Dr says no point in taking them out, it wouldn't change anything.

So now, I have DS1 who doesn't nap, goes to sleep at 7.30pm and wakes at 5.30am for the day. And wakes anything between 0 and 10 times a night.

He sleeps through maybe once or twice a week. But most nights he wakes up several times (on average 6). He wakes up because:

  • Nightmares (lots). He also has night terrors which make him sick.
  • Noise. Either cars/people outside, noisy neighbours, someone coughed, whatever
  • Nappy leaks (we've changed nappy size and brand several times in the past few months and touch wood, for the moment we're ok)

I also have a 5 month old that I'm EBF. DS1 won't accept DH at night (we've tried many times, but he just cries for 2 minutes then is sick (not on purpose but his reflux means he's easily sick) and it's just so much easier for everyone if I get up for both DC)

So consequently I'm getting up 6 - 16 times a night and I just am not coping. I can't leave either DS to cry as they then wake the other DS, and dealing with both boys at the same time is awful.

DS1 has a bedtime routine and usually falls asleep very quickly (less than 5 minutes). I do sit with him until he falls asleep, which I know you're not "supposed" to, but sometimes he sleeps through the night so I know he is capable of self-settling in the night.

Until recently, DS1 was a bad sleeper but seemed to be coping ok, i.e. he wasn't grumpy/ratty/hyper from tiredness. However, since starting nursery school in September (3 hours a day) he is just shattered, and only sleeping 9/10 broken hours of sleep is not enough. He also refuses to nap (screaming fit) and if he does fall asleep then he falls asleep later at night and sleeps less.

Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to get it all down! We've tried various things like co-sleeping/gradual withdrawal (but not CC cos he's sick) and nothing works.

OP posts:
minkah · 30/09/2014 18:01

Definitely take him to a homeopath. And a cranial osteopath. Get him more balanced.

Have you got him on a sugar free diet?

LaPetiteCoccinelle · 30/09/2014 18:37

No not a sugar free diet but he doesnt eat any sweets, chocolate or biscuits. Only some homemade sponge cake. And jam and bread.

He drinks water, milk and juice. No cereals

OP posts:
LaPetiteCoccinelle · 30/09/2014 18:38

Btw why the question on sugar?

OP posts:
TheCunkOfPhilomena · 30/09/2014 21:29

I really feel for you LaPetite, my DS, 3.9 is still not sleeping through the night but at least I don't have a baby to contend with too. You need lots and lots of coffee and a break.

Things I have tried with some success are:

  • saying I will come back and check on him 13 times (but this was when he wouldn't go to sleep on his own initially) and then actually doing it. He now goes to sleep on his own all the time, unless he's ill, in about 10 mins
  • giving him supper, just a slice of marmite on toast and some water at about 6:30pm (he goes to bed at 7pm) to stop him waking up due to hunger
  • having his favourite calm music playing, on repeat, all night (Sailing By from the fecking shipping forecast but whatever your DS prefers!)

However, having done some googling, I now think that DS is having something called confusional arousals as he has tantrums when he wakes and I have called the HV as I just cannot go on like this (LP). Maybe you could give your HV team a call too?

Homeopathy is clinically proven to be nonsense so please don't waste your time and money on that.

Justgotosleepnow · 30/09/2014 21:36

Wow that sounds really tough.
Try a cranial osteopath.
You could try cutting out histamine foods to see if that makes a difference. Eg bananas strawberries.
I've done this for my 17mo and not had any more 3am awakeababy since. Other little wakeups but no 3 hour messing arounds.
Have a google it's worth looking into

LaPetiteCoccinelle · 30/09/2014 23:14

Thanks.

We're 'lucky' that he always wants to go back to sleep (except at 5.30!) so Im not trying to settle an active child, its just that I have to get up and sit with him. Sometimes it can take a while (over an hour) but generally its leas than 5 minutes

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