Night feeds for a 6.5 month old

[mrsmugoo]

First off let me start by saying yes I know that it is very normal for a breastfed 6.5 month old to wake for a feed in the night. But also I've read on MN of Mums who still feed their toddlers in the night too. I personally wouldn't be happy with that and I'm just not sure where or how to draw the line on night feeds.

My question is - how do you know when to stop night feeds i.e when do they stop needing it and are only waking because they like it? My DS loves the boob and I'm sure he will continue to wake for it as long as he can get away with it!

He goes down at 7:30pm (goes down awake and self settles, always) wakes between 2-4am and after a feed will go straight back to sleep for maximum of 3 hours. If he wakes at 4 then he'll sleep to his normal wake up time of 6:30. if it's nearer 2am then he'll wake again around 5:30am and need another feed to get him off to sleep for another hour (usually in my bed by this stage). I struggle to get back to sleep after night feeds so I am often awake from around 3am all the way to 6:30am and I'm knackered.

The second feed is no doubt just for comfort, but it's either that or start getting up at 5:30am which I'm not keen on.

Last night he woke at 2am and it irritated me that he woke so early given he had a good day of solids yesterday and plenty of BFs so we tried to resettle him with a cuddle and some water and he just wouldn't go back to sleep and started to really cry, which he never ever does in the night. I fed him after an hour of holding off and of course he was straight back asleep.

Do I just carry on feeding him whenever he wakes? How do I encourage him to sleep through the night? I would really like to start getting some sleep at some point!

I stopped all night bf at this age. though mine was waking every 2 hours so clearly using it to get back to sleep. I dropped to 1, then none over a week but you could obv just do it all at once. she was sometimes hard to settle in the early hours like 5am but I persevered not getting her up till 6.30. it took about 3 weeks till she consistently slept all night but bear in mind we were starting from a worse place.
she was and is fine. wasn't hungry. I know the mn line is it's normal but I believe most don't 'need' night feeds for nutrition at this age, I was desperate for sleep, and didn't want to night feed a toddler. if I'd just had one night feed I'd have been happy but was advised keeping a feed would hinder her sleeping well as she wouldn't understand why sometimes she was fed sometimes not. (she always went down awake )

Thanks for your reply. I'm not one to just get swept up in the "MN party line" - I sleep trained at 4 months using cc as he was waking every 2 hours and using BF to get back to sleep and it was the best thing I've done for both him and us! He often wakes in the earlier evening between bedtime and midnight and self settles easily within a few minutes - we see him on the monitor doing it so we know he "can" get back to sleep which is why I'm in a quandary about his night feeding.

Do I just need to bite the bullet and brace myself for some sleepless nights then?

We are just about to move him into his own room - I'd always sort of had this in my head as a suitable time to do it.

If you know he can self settle I'd say that it was probably genuine hunger. I think at that age and bf you can't be sure it isn't iyswim. I would hold off for a couple of months.

well it's up to you. one wake up is not too bad so depends if you're happy with that. given he can self settle I imagine he'd drop it himself at some point. but if you decide to stop then yes, of course there will be some tough nights. I reduced the length of the last bf for a few nights before cutting it, so she hadn't been having much. I would say though that having no feeds is clear cut. my dd has had only a couple of nights in the last 3 months she's not slept through (now 10.5m) and doesn't wake for milk if teething, a cold etc.

Hmm, watching with interest as I'm in a similar position, though mine sometimes sleeps through the night and sometimes wakes up.

Mine didn't sleep through reliably until 9-10 months old. But I always gave them a dream feed on the way to bed until about a year old.

It is really tough. The lack of sleep is debilitating and when they're teething or poorly they wake more.

Mine are now 5 and 7 and I miss those snuggly night time feeds now. I know that's no comfort to you but it does get better. This too shall pass x

One wakeup is certainly do-able (compared to the months of two hourly wake ups I endured) but when it's two wake ups and I basically don't get back to sleep properly after the first, it's kind of taking it's toll now.

We can't move him into his own room for a couple of weeks because the room isn't ready and we're on holiday next week so think I'll leave it a few weeks and see how I feel.

Reducing the length of the feed gradually is another option I suppose.

but they also get used to food at night, so it's hunger in a way, but not necessarily necessary iyswim

Exactly! I mean, I'm often peckish in the night but I wouldn't get up and make a meal. It's so hard to know what to do.

I'm desperate to get a proper night's sleep but I want to do the right thing for him.

he'll be fine either way. if you reduce the night feed (I did 3 nights v short feed, though she's always v quick) then he will up in the day to compensate. I was told from 4-5m their digestive system can shut down at night like ours does

BTW even once she was sleeping well I was still waking up for ages. even now I sleep v lightly even with ear plugs in as she still moans etc in her sleep sometimes. I can't see sleep ever being what it was

hi mrsmugoo. I think I've mentioned before that my ds just suddenly dropped his 1 nightfeed a few weeks ago now so there is hope that he will stop of his own accord.
I expected mine to gradually stretch the time before feeding but he didn't. one morning it was dh's alarm waking me at 6.30 rather than the baby monitor. and he hasn't woke before 6 since.

If he's still in your room i'd give him a couple of weeks in his own room and see what happens. then you can reassess if needs be

I think there's 3 days between our ds's if I remember correctly and mine went into his own room at 5 months for reference

No, you wouldn't cook a meal, but a fair number of people often take a drink of water. FWIW mine needed to be able to operate a sippy to sleep through. I wake for a drink probably 3 nights a week.

Hi Schmoop! - yes our DS's are so close in age and behaviour!

I'll hang on in there then for a few weeks until after holidays and after he's been in his own room and see where we are.

I've been ready to move him for months weeks by the way - we've just not got around to actually putting the furniture together and sorting the room out!

Penguins - I take your point about water - we gave him some water from his sippy cup last night and it didn't settle him.

This probably sounds daft, but I think that mine were a lot older before they worked out that hunger and thirst were different. They didn't realise water fixed thirst. Only milk would do iyswim.

I stopped bf'ing at night just a little older than this. I did an 11pm feed, then initially set a time limit - that I wouldn't feed again before 4am and moved it back by 10 minutes a night. What I found is that she quite quickly stopped expecting it and, although sometimes woke up, didn't expect or need a feed to go back to sleep. It only took about ten days and she sort of stopped needing the 11pm feed by herself as a result, as she had got used to not waking for a feed.

I actually did this in a tandem with switching to formula at about 8 months, as I knew DD would only take from the bottle if she was really hungry, rather than just looking for comfort.

Hasn't solved all our sleep problems, but she's been comfortably going from 7pm to 7am without any milk since around 9 months.

I stopped doing a dream feed btw because a) I found it seemed to unsettle him and he still woke up between 2-4am for this feed regardless b) I struggle to stay up to 10:30 a lot of the time to make it worthwhile bothering!

I stopped night feeding on weds night! After 3 weeks of dd feeding twice a night and taking anything up to 2 hrs to get back into her cot I decided to bite the bullet and go cold turkey. Hubbie does all the night settling. Tonight will be our 4th night so still early days. We've had a of night, not a good night and another good night. Really hoping tonight is good too!

Dds nappies were also bursting by morning plus she was never interested in milk or breakfast until around lunchtime so I felt these were also reasons to try and stop night feeds.

Try to go with instinct as much as possible but a bit of 'tough love' might be required too. Also if your baby is a healthy weight there should be no harm withdrawing night feeds. I'm sure some babies get upset so you have to do what you feel comfortable with.

I thought my dd loved breast and would really struggle to give up but the only feed I feel she's really interested in from me is at bedtime (she's 6.5m too). So I've decided to give formula during the day and cut right back to morning and evening breast feeds! (I have health problems so felt it was time to cut down/stop bf)

I'm definitely not averse to a bit of tough love!

He's also never interested in feeding in the morning either. I fed him at 6am this morning and he slept a bit longer afterwards and then didn't BF feed again until his nap at 9:30. I did manage to shovel a few spoonfuls of weetabix in as he was mumbling on some toast though.

I would love to switch onto formula in the day but he will not take a bottle and will only take a few sips from a sippy cup. He's turned his nose up at formula every time I've tried to give it to him. I left him with his granny last week for a few hours to see if he'd get hungry enough to have a feed from a cup. Nope. He woke up in the night for a feed before midnight though the little devil.

sounds like you're getting quite a lot of sleep. waking once or max twice to feed at 6.5 months sounds ideal. very different from feeding a toddlers in the night

No I'm hardly getting any sleep. I go to bed early but I have insomnia and I struggle to get to sleep. If I'm asleep by 11 then I get 3-5 hours in a row (which is heavenly compared to the first 4 months of parenthood I admit)

After that though, I'm lucky to get another hour until morning because I just can't seem to get back to sleep and then he wakes up again.

I've just fed him now, it's 2:30. I'm wide awake. I'll be lucky if I drop off by 4:30. He'll be awake again at 5:30 and then up for the day at 6:30.

We found this article helpful -www.troublesometots.com/what-you-need-to-know-about-sleeping-through-the-night-part-3/

It worked for us to stop 2 x night feeds at 8 months.

I would say be prepared for your baby to have a phase of getting up very early if he does drop the night feed, this has been common in mine/friends experiences.

Also, you lose your best way to get baby back to sleep when they inevitably wake for random reasons.

Overall I much preferred though, for one it made night wakings a totally dual responsibility, and I also appreciated the solid sleep even if up for day at 5.30am! We did eventually use milk from a bottle/cup to help settle in night again, just infrequently a good few months later.

It's a gentle method anyway so no harm trying...I would definitely wait til after holiday/room move though.

Good luck!

maybe you need to try and improve your insomnia too/instead. I recently had a phase of similar and a meditation app really helped. I found I was waiting for her to wake, counting down the hours I could get etc. it's horrid.

The advice I have been given is that an otherwise healthy baby does not need to feed at night after 6 months.

Having said that, I have also been told this does not apply to my almost 6 month old DS3, because he has reflux and spills a lot all day long.

So, if there are no other issues, I would chuck the night time feed.

I did this with DS2 who was still having a night feed at 6 months (just one but it still drove me potty).

I think it is important to remember it is not just about what baby wants by the time baby is this age, but also about what works for the wider family, especially mum. It does not sound like continued night feeds work for you, and it appears there is no good reason your LO to still require a night feed so I vote get rid. Prepare yourself for it to get worse before it gets better though.