5 month old wants to BF every 2 hours at night

[shoopshoopsong]

My 5month old won't stay asleep and it seems when I speak to other mums this is unusual.. I don't know about that but it's really tiring.

I can usually only get him to nap when being pushed in the buggy and even then he rarely sleeps longer than 20mins, but the bit that is really affecting me is the night sleep..

He rarely sleeps for longer than 2 hours, waking up either crying or frantically kicking and grunting and squirming which even with shushing and patting turns into cries if I don't pick him up and feed him.

So anyone got any tips to help him sleep longer? Or if not at least tell me this is normal and all the mums that say their babies sleep through are lying

Info that might help: He's breastfeed (won't take a bottle) and generally goes to bed at 7 and wakes up at 6/7. Usually goes to bed quite well and is sleepy but grumpy/frustrated when waking for feeds - I think he is aware it's still bedtime and feeds with his eyes closed at night.

Can he self settle? Sounds like he's feeding just to get himself back to sleep rather than for feed.

Did he suffer from the 4 month sleep regression? I'm just learning that dd's probs with feeding at night are to do with the feed/sleep association she developed since the 4 month sleep regression. She was a fab sleeper before that but ever since has woken multiple times a night and I've always fed her.
Last night my dh took over and she wasn't offered milk at all. There was a lot of noise but no proper tears remarkably. She woke up happy this morn but still not wanting a feed (you'd think she'd be starving after 13hrs with nothing). So I now know she isn't hungry at night, just comforting. X

Ds was pretty similar, from memory this is about the age that dh had to take over the occasional waking so he didn't smell milk, and offered him water from a cup instead. Water is much less tasty and he lost interest in waking for it pretty soon.

I Had this with my son he was such a hungry baby ( boys generally are) I was constantly feeding him when newborn and it did break down a bit to 2 or so hours a night but it was getting so tiring. I started giving him formula ( Aptimil hungry baby) for the night feed and it made such a difference. I also stopped giving him a bottle when he woke done two nights of giving him cooled bodied water and he never woke for it again as he realised he wasn't hungry and just habit! give it a try if he's at a healthy happy weight it's absolutely fine x

2 of mine were like that at 5 months - one grew out of it by herself by 9 months, when she learnt to stand then walk (I think this is relevant due to being able to easily get upright) but didn't immediately sleep through,the other was a very bad sleeper for a lot longer. My middle child was a very "good" sleeper so I tend to think its not due to being willing to breast feed at night or to the way you respond really.

Is your baby happy when held upright but unhappy to be laid down flat on his back unless in motion? That was how my DC1 was, and I think her sleep problems began with silent reflux - had never heard of it til after she'd grown out of it, so just struggled through not being able to lie her down for the first 3 no the and frequent waking for 9 months - pretty sure being mostly upright toddling from 9 months was what helped her, but you can get medication for reflux (silent reflux doesn't make their feeds come back up in full, doesn't make them cry endlessly or fail to thrive like the more extreme form, but still makes them uncomfortable esp when lying flat on their back, and they seek to comfort su k to deal with it). Your baby's crying and so on make it sound as if there may be a discomfort factor, not just a habit.

Thanks all for your replies.

Littlef00t - he occasionally self settles when first going to bed if he's drowsy already... so I guess he is capable of it, but doesn't in the middle of the night or for naps!

Rachel - to be honest I don't really know about the sleep regression he's always been like this.. Around 3 months he did a few more longer stretches but it only lasted a couple if weeks and then back to this again. I have been thinking if love to try DH settling him but he's working such long hours at the moment I don't feel I can ask in the week, and by the weekend I can barely face the idea of the battle. It sounds like it was positive for you though so I will try suggesting that!

Wha - I have only just started to introduce cups (after months of battling with bottles and finally giving up) and at the moment he doesn't drink from it, just gnaws at the spout, but if he learns to drink from it I'll definitely give that a go.

Shaz - I would love to try that but he is a stern bottle refuser!

MrTumble - it's comforting to hear yours naturally grew out of it. I don't think it's reflux (though I'm starting to doubt everything ever, so maybe..) because generally he's a really happy baby, will lie down after feeds, is often happy playing lying down in the day. I used to have to keep him upright for ages after feeds when he was newborn but he kinda grew out of it.

Thanks everyone...please keep them coming it's really useful!

It is possible to wean off offering breast without partner doing the settling. I managed it as DH couldn't help me out. I think dd did perhaps cry a bit more but it wasn't too bad.

That's good to know littlef00t, any tips other than sheer determination?

Not going well so far...

If it helps, we're having a crap time with our 5 month old dd and sleeping, so maybe it's a developmental thing? She's never been a great sleeper either, only really napping in the sling and just recently in the buggy and car seat if moving.

Does your ds wake two hourly from bedtime, or is his first wake up later? At the moment dd sleeps like this:
Down at 7/7.30 by feeding to sleep
11.30ish first night feed to sleep again
2.30ish second feed to sleep
5.30ish/6 woken up by 3yo brother getting up

That's a good night! On a bad night she wakes for hours and wants to play and roll around... while I slowly lose it I know that feeding her to sleep is not helping but I don't really know what else to do -and I did the same with ds with none of these issues, so maybe it's more about the baby! You'll be weaning soon and that may help if it is reflux related?

Ah sorry you are in the same boat, but it is a slight comfort I'm not the only one!

He usually feeds to sleep 7ish...then 10, 12, 2 or 3 then DHs alarm goes off 5:30 and if I'm lucky he'll stir and maybe properly wake at 6:30

Last two nights I've tried to just cuddle not feed, which worked ONCE and I gave in to the cries every other time. Except this morning at 4 he decided that if I wasn't feeding him it'd be a perfect time to practice talking... after an hour of loud gargles and BABABAMMMMAMAMA we decided to talk him for a walk to save our neighbours (terrace house) and our sanity! Just not sure I have the strength to not feed him each time tonight...

& yes misty I am hoping weaning will make a big difference and he'll love food so much it will fill him up for the night!

Yikes, that is frequent-but not unheard of for breastfed babies oh how attractive does the bottle sound in the middle of the night?!

I'm just feeding dd now, which is a bit early for her but she seems hungry so...who knows. Came up to find ds in our bed too. All good fun!
Don't worry, I can't imagine refusing dd night feeds yet, as I can imagine her response!

Oh god, it's one of her awake and cooing wake ups and dh is helpfully falling asleep while "supporting" me in staying awake
The bababa is starting now...

Hope your night is going better!

Yeah I'm totally back to just feeding now too tired and over emotional to try.. Where's my willpower?! He's sleepy at least... It's hard when the 'talking' is so cute though maybe not QUITE at that moment! Hope she's in dreamland now..