I need help!!!

[magicalmrmistofelees]

I have a 10.5 month old DD. She has never been a great sleeper and is still waking 2 times a night for a feed. She was breastfed until 6 months and is now bottle fed. She didn't take to weaning very well and completely refused the spoon as first so we went with a BLW approach. She will now eat off a spoon but only a couple of mouthfuls and eats very little finger food, preferring to just play with it. She is still having lots of milk during the day and combined with her night feeds she is having around 35oz of milk over 24 hours. I've read recently that at this age she should be having around 20-25oz.

I know that it's a vicious circle and too much milk means she's eating less solids, and that she's probably waking up in the night for milk out of habit rather than anything else. I have been trying to night wean over the past few nights but failing, she woke up at 12 last night and rather than feed her straight away I tried cuddling, patting, leaving her in the cot grizzling a bit (not crying). I eventually gave in at 2am and fed her. We then had the same at 5am-6am.

Because she's having feeds at random times at night im also struggling to establish any sort of routine with her milk/meals in the day. For example if she wakes for a feed at 5am she's not hungry for her morning bottle at 7am.

She naps fairly well, she has approximately 40 mins in the morning and an hour and a half early afternoon.

I'm just at a loss with it all really... How to stop her feeding in the night, how to get her eating a decent amount of solids, now to ensure our routine is consistent... I'm feeling very tearful after 10 months of no sleep! Any advice?

When we night weaned DS (now a year old) I began by choosing some 'core' hours where we agreed not to give him milk, and then slowly extend that. So we felt that no milk between 10 and 3 would be a start, then extended it over a few weeks. If he woke wanting milk we'd just do whatever else we could to sooth him, and we also gave him water from a sippy cup (he often wakes for a drink of water now, but imagine that will stop now it's getting cooler). That approach helped with the 'giving in' feeling, as when 3am came round if he was still unsettled then him having milk was in the plan.

I know some people are very happy to continue giving milk in the night but for us, DS was eating well and having milk in the day and I felt that he didn't need the milk but wanted the comfort, and that we could establish other ways to comfort him and encourage him to sleep happily.

Try to deal with one issue at a time - I found it overwhelming and needed to separate night waking from daytime naps, feeding etc. Maybe tackle the night weaning first, and the eating may well follow.

yes I agree if you tackle the night weaning first then I think the rest will sort it out. mine was 7m when I night weaned so it may be harder or easier now but I just girded myself and dropped to one feed after 1am for three nights, reduced the length of that bf for 3 nights, then nothing.

Yy to also reducing the length of feed too.

Thanks both. We actually did night wean at 7 months and found it much easier then, however a combination of teething, colds and going on holiday meant that the feeds managed to creep back in.

The reason it felt like 'giving in' last night was that despite all the upset I still ended up feeding her twice. I know that if she doesn't have a feed until after 3am she will then sleep til morning but after 2 hours of us both being awake I fed her at 2am, meaning she was up again at 5.

I'll definitely try to tackle one thing at a time, thank you.

Thanks both. We actually did night wean at 7 months and found it much easier then, however a combination of teething, colds and going on holiday meant that the feeds managed to creep back in.

The reason it felt like 'giving in' last night was that despite all the upset I still ended up feeding her twice. I know that if she doesn't have a feed until after 3am she will then sleep til morning but after 2 hours of us both being awake I fed her at 2am, meaning she was up again at 5.

I'll definitely try to tackle one thing at a time, thank you.

We had this - night weaned then went back a bit after illness. Good luck, magical, I have found things like night weaning easier as DS gets older...

sleepbabies.co.uk/html/resources/case-studies.html

Hi we used Sian from www.sleepbabies.co.uk , really good for us. Look at the link above- the Millie one was very similar to doing yourself. You can probably follow yourself, I needed support from a consultant as was so sleep deprived.
Good Luck x

Thank you Serendipity. We have considered a sleep consultant but will try what we can ourselves first! Better night last night as she slept until 4.30am for the first time in months. I offered her half a usual bottle feed and resettled, and she slept again until 7am.

that's great now I would try not to feed before 4am on all nights...

My plan last night was no milk until after 3am, but I didn't actually have to implement it as she slept anyway . Having less milk at night already seems to have made a difference to her food intake as she actually ate a bowl of porridge, a plum and some blueberries for breakfast. She would normally have a mouthful at best.

That's fantastic, very pleased for you. Hope it continues

I'm reading with interest and feeling hopeful from all your comments!my dd sounds exactly the same although a little younger (almost 7 months). She too is uninterested in breakfast or milk until she's ready for her morning nap. I am about to try to tackle the night weaning (she's bf) and am wondering if I should go cold turkey or set a time limit on feeds and gradually reduce.

Rachel my DD hasn't been interested in milk until her morning nap, and I ended up feeding to sleep for naps which I think has been creating a feed/sleep association and making night weaning more difficult! So the pash couple of days I've fed her at least half an hour before putting her down for her nap. We had a bit of a battle this afternoon but otherwise it's been fine. Having said that I think it's more difficult when you're bf as they associate feeding so much with comfort. Can you send your DH/DP in at night to try settling?

Hi yes usually send dh in first to try and settle. More often than not she'll go straight back to sleep but the min he puts her back down she kicks off. Can't work out if it's just because she wants comfort or if she's genuinely hungry. However, as it's been going on a while, I'm so sleep deprived and she's a healthy weight and isn't interested in milk come morning I've decided tonight is the night to go cold turkey. Wish me luck! Words of wisdom from anyone much appreciated x

How did it go Rachel?

Fantastic! That is what we did with breast feeding, gave her less time every three nights. Sian said it was to slowly reduce the hunger, you reduce until you decide to stop. She said once you stop you never offer milk at night again because their behaviours can become more entrenched. We initially offered water for
Thirst and then stopped.
Definitely worked for us.
Hope it keeps going well
X

So after 2 nights of not offering a feed it's time for an update!

First night was amazing. Lo woke twice in night but not at all distressed. I'd say more just shouting about having to go to sleep! First time dh settled her in 25 mins. 2nd time took 50 mins. She woke at 730am for the day happy and totally uninterested in feeding. Not what I was expecting!

Night 2 conpletely different story. She woke twice early on in the eve then at 1040pm. She was inconsolable for dh. After almost an hour I went in for cuddles and she calmed right down. Eventually got dh to take over with the settling. Took 2hrs in total. Then she woke twice more at 45min intervals but dh settled her in 5 mins each time. She woke just before 7am for the day looking thoroughly shattered but had a good feed.
My mum is currently trying to get her to sleep for her nap (I'm going all out on the not feeding to sleep) and I can hear dd sobbing away.

I am hoping last night was the worst and that things will get better. It's so difficult to know if she's just cross or if she's teething or got tummy ache but I keep telling myself at least we're giving cuddles and not leaving her to cry alone.