2.5 yr old scared to go to sleep on own

[Hellesbelles2]

Wondering if anyone can help...

DS is 2.5 and for last 6 weeks has refused to go to sleep on his own. Whereas previously we could do storytime, milk and good night kiss and he would go off to sleep on his own, in a couple of minutes now he's the complete opposite.

As soon as bedtime approaches, he starts asking for me to sit in the chair while he goes to sleep and unless I answer yes straight away can get quite upset about it. For the last few weeks we have done this but it can take 60-90 mins to fall asleep so feel like most of my evenings are lost (also currently 10 wks pregnant so already feeling exhausted and just wanting to sleep myself). He then wakes up after maybe 2-3 hrs and then I admit we've taken the easy option (due to it taking another hr plus to get him back to sleep) and let him come in our bed where he's slept pretty well until the morning.

Any ideas on how we can get him to go back to going to sleep on his own in his own bed? While I don't mind watching him while he goes to sleep, it's the length of time it takes which is difficult. I've tried getting to have longer naps in the day as well as no naps but neither seems to make a difference?

Any ideas??

hiya, sounds like your DS has become fearful of bedtime. Any ideas why or where it started? Around that age my DD started getting nightmares and her imagination was so over active. We tried lots of things. Sleep easy spray from Indigo essences helped. Also cutting day time nap completely eventually helped her fall asleep quickly. When her nightmares and night wakings got really bad we actually put a camp bed on our floor and the problem was completely solved. Then when she was comfy with it we moved her back to her bed with rewards. E.g. stay in your own bed all night and the sleep fairy will visit with a gift under the pillow etc. A week of that and she stopped asking about the sleep fairy. I found fighting it didn't work at all as reasoning with a small one is often futile. Anyway here's my blog post on nightmares / indigo essences and how we overcame Melissa being left alone if you're interested mydaughterwontsleep.com/2014/03/13/does-your-child-have-nightmares/ Good luck x

I'd stay with him and then let him sleep in your bed until he feels better about sleep :) if you feel like an early night you could just go to bed with him! If you want to stay up, then stay until he's asleep and tell him when he's asleep you will leave him something of yours to snuggle if he wakes up and it will help him get back to sleep. You could also leave him a torch, a lamp, or set up a baby monitor next to him so when he wakes up he can tap on it to let you know he is awake and would like a kiss?

My daughter, 27 months has just been going thru this. We've been doing gradual withdrawal and she now takes 20mins to go to sleep with us sitting outside the room on the landing. She now also rarely wakes in night and when she does, I go to the door but don't go in and say shush back to sleep and that's what she does. Has worked great at restoring her confidence to be alone in the dark at bedtime and in the night

I do really feel for you Helles, I could have written the exact same post. My DD is almost 4 and up until now has been a brill sleeper much like your DS. Never had issues with bedtime up until a couple weeks ago where she woke in the night crying, then the next evening refused to go to sleep on her own. She hasn't really said why or what's bothering her, just that she wants mumny to stay with her until she drops off. Much like you it can take up to an hour for her to drop off, then 2-3 hrs later she will wake up hysterical and I cave in and end up sleeping with her because im so tired! ( im currently 25 weeks pregnant with DD2 ) It feels like im making things worse by allowing her to co sleep but im really at a loss. Im so tired, and don't know how to get her to feel happy with going to bed alone. I miss my evenings with my partner, I feel like we haven't seen each other in weeks as I spend all evening/night with a 4 year old glued to my leg! I love her dearly and have debated tough love and letting her cry it, but if she is genuinely afraid then it just feels cruel! Im sorry I can't help you Helles but hope we can find a solution together! Take care xx

Years ago I had the same problem and someone on here recommended buying a night light (I just bought Mothercare plug ins), and telling the child there is a special fairy in the light which will keep them safe all night long. We made a big fuss about the fairy / light and it worked. I think it helped DS feel he was not alone. Downside is DS is soon to turn 8 and whilst he doesn't need the fairy anymore he still needs the light!

Watching this thread. Don't have any advice, though, as the exact same thing happened with our DS when he was 2. He's now just turned 5, still needs us in the room to fall asleep and is in our bed every night.....

Thank you everyone - was having phone difficulties hence my lack of reply.

No idea what could have scared him although he has started to talk about the 'dark'. We've got a dimmer switch on his main light so have been leaving that on with a low light etc but doesn't seem to be making a difference.

Think we might have to try the phased return as really don't want years of this! Will prob give it a couple of more weeks so that I'm not as exhausted and can face it!