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Sleep

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Original poster

Anyone used the rapid return method? HELP!

19 replies

burstingbug · 24/09/2006 20:37

My 19mth ds has always had help to go fall asleep either from myself or dh. When he was smaller, he was rocked, walked, swayed, patted etc etc to sleep. We managed to get out that habit at about 14mths when he moved from cot to a bed, although we still had to sit at his bedside and pat him on ocassion.
We are now trying the rapid return technique, where as soon as he comes out of his room, we put him straight back to bed. We have been doing this since Wednesday, each night has taken around 2 hrs. Any ideas on how long it may take to crack this problem or any tips on how to survive this? I also have a 5 week old ds so it gets really difficult to put ds1 to bed unless ds2 sleeps through ds1's bedtime battle.
Grrrrrrr!

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Original poster

burstingbug · 24/09/2006 20:45

he's been put back 56 times in 35mins so far!

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TitianRed · 24/09/2006 20:53

It does work, bb. I don't mean to be rude but 19 months seems very early to be out of a cot. Is this the problem, do you think?

Original poster

burstingbug · 24/09/2006 21:03

He seems to sleep better in a bed, he hated his cot. Also it was a bit easier for me to access him when I was pregnant.

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TitianRed · 24/09/2006 21:04

Okay. Hope you weren't offended by my question.

Original poster

burstingbug · 24/09/2006 21:11

No, I wasn't I know its young, but it is better than the cot. Just need to get him to fall aleep on his own, poor thing

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Original poster

burstingbug · 24/09/2006 21:19

How long did it take you Titian?

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TitianRed · 24/09/2006 21:22

4 or 5 days, I think. It happened occasionally after that (once every couple of months or so) but we just took him straight back and he stayed in bed! Hope it works out for you too. I think the key is to not communicate, just take their hand and lead them back to bed. Good luck!

Original poster

burstingbug · 24/09/2006 21:27

This is our 5th night. He's been in his room for a good 6 or 7 minutes now without a sound or a stir. Its taken an hour and a half, at least its half an hour quicker than the past 4 nights!

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Peridot30 · 24/09/2006 22:43

We used it for our dd and ds and it does work but its hard work and very tiring for us mums and dads. Keep up the good work it will pay off in the end.

Original poster

burstingbug · 25/09/2006 10:46

He remained in his bed until about 5 this morning. Then he came into our bed for the last few hours. I know we should be returning him to bed then too, but we are just too shattered. DH gets up at 4.45 when he's on an early shift and ds2 generally wakes for a feed around that time too. So its hard to implement the return method I don't want to be undoing all our hard work from the previous evening.

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Original poster

burstingbug · 25/09/2006 20:01

Doing this again tonight, so far 25 times in 15 minutes

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Original poster

burstingbug · 25/09/2006 20:22

40 minutes into it and 56 returns to his bed!

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nearlythree · 25/09/2006 20:35

burstinbug, my dd1 needed to go out of her cot early too. We did rapid return with dd2 and it took about a week but you do have to be consistent at every waking. We've done it with her (she's 2.5) since baby ds was born and I know how knackering it is, but I soon realised that by letting dd2 sleep with one of us we were going back to square one each time. We still need to do rr every now and then (after illness, for example) but it doesn't take long to settle her. As far as I'm concerned cc is a no-no but this felt much gentler to do. Good luck!

Original poster

burstingbug · 25/09/2006 20:51

I'm hoping his early morning waking will pass, don't think we could cope doing it in the morning too. I'm kind of hoping to crack bedtimes first.

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Original poster

burstingbug · 25/09/2006 20:52

91 times in 65 minutes

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sweeneytoddsmissus · 25/09/2006 21:15

Burstingbug - your post is so similar to my situation a couple of months ago! I moved my ds to a bed at 18m in preparation for dd arrival (she is now 5m) - He had been sleeping next to us up until that point as we had been in a flat and moved to a house so he had NEVER fallen asleep alone. Once DD was born DH took over ds bedtime most nights as I was feeding dd and she was v colicky. We decided to use rapid return as it was taking ages to get ds to sleep and he was waking in the night and we would have to stay in the room till he went back to sleep.

It took a week and a half of nightmare bedtimes up to 2hrs of returns and during the night if he woke up. But he finally started to realise that this was the way it was going to be - and now we have lovely bedtimes. every nigt at seven he trots upstairs happily annoucing that he is tired - we read stories have kisses and then he stays in his room in bed with his soft toy friends while we leave him to it - he usually gets up once we are outside the door and checks we are there but always with a big grin on his face.. another kiss and that is it. He rarely wakes in the night but if he does he goes back to bed and we can leave him quite happily. It is wonderful - but you will have acouple of weeks of hell to get there. I felt cruel, horrible and thought we wouldn't manage it but me and dh had to show ds that we were resolved and once he knew that it was fine.

be strong and consistent and you will get there

sweeneytoddsmissus · 25/09/2006 21:29

I am really sorry BB but just read one of your later messages - if you can't do the rr when ds wakes during the night it won't work - my dh was on leave when we started as we thought it might mean some lost sleep. If your dh can take some leave or if you can rope in a close relative do so think of it as an investment in having better sleep in the future you will be glad you did it once its over though it is horrible when you are in the middle of it. I do feel for you letting ds in bed with you though I was the same esp after 5 as I couldn't face it dh was firmer but as I was feeding dd - alot of the time it was up to him anyway. Decide on a cut-off point we didn't return after 6 as that is when ds usually wakes anyway.

nearlythree · 25/09/2006 21:38

I agree totally with sweeneytoddmissus - we had a friend here to help out a bit, and dh had time off. If you can't do that and can't do the early mornings then wait until dh can get some leave or someone can come and stay. It is hard but soooo worth it, my dd2 hated her bedroom, her bed, everything - it was so distressing - I can't tell you how lovely it is to see her snuggling under her Tweenies quilt saying, 'Goodnight, Mummy!'

Original poster

burstingbug · 26/09/2006 09:00

Dh has the 2nd week in October booked off. If we carry on the going to bed bit for the next week and a bit, we can start to rr when he wakes in the night when dh is off.
I did hear ds1 wake around midnight, think he came into our room, but I couldn't see him, he then must have left our room and dh found him asleep outside our door at 4.30! Poor little thing. Needless to say he then woke up and came into bed with me.
Glad to know that it does work after much time and hard work. It has got better, from taking 2hrs last weds to just over an hour last night

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