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Original poster

Almost 1 year and still waking a dozen times a night - help!!!

21 replies

Jinty123 · 07/04/2004 07:05

Hi Ladies,

I've been on other threads before about my dd who is now approaching her 1st birthday and is still waking 3-4 times a night and sometimes wakes and won't go back to sleep for hours!! I've tried CC, not very successfully, I've tried the family bed, not successful at all and I'm at my wits end.

This weekend (Easter weekend) we are going to buy a mattress for the single bed in her room and I'm going to attempt putting her back in her cot, in her room and just keeping the single bed for in case I need to go in there at night.

So it's back to the CC and I was wondering if anyone had any advise for us. I think it was our own fault in that we got into a bad habit of feeding her at night when she woke at 1-2am and any other time before 5am her normal waking time. Now we can't seem to break this habit and sleeping in the same bed as her means I don't get any sleep at all!!

We have a strict bedtime routine:
6.30pm - bath
6.45pm - cream and nappy
7pm - bottle, story and bed
She doesn't have a problem going to sleep, but keeping her asleep is another story. Last night she was up at 10pm, 12am, 3.30 and then wouldn't go back to sleep and woke and slept fitfully until 4.45 when I got up with her for the day.

I know we've been over the CC thing before, but I need some encouragement and advise because it's been a while since I tried it.

OP posts:
Beccarollover · 07/04/2004 07:25

My friend did CC with her 11 month old a while ago and Ive never seen (IMO) a more successful example of CC!

She had NEVER slept for more than 4 hours during the night and was drinking gallons of milk to get back to sleep - during the day she would barely eat, was very irritable and very hard to look after.

My friend was reluctant to do CC as she felt guilty but this little baby was crying and crying even with the current situation, as soon as she realised you were trying to get her to sleep whether rocking, holding etc she would scream so friend felt nothing to lose as baby was distressed anyway.

1st night 25 minutes
2nd night 15 minutes
3rd night 5 minutes
4th night and up until now (2 months later) a little grumble and chat to herself.

She now goes to bed at 6.45 and sleeps until at least 6.30 the next morning.

She found going in at intervals was just distressing them both more so left her cold turkey.

Hope some of this helps encourage or something!!!

Good Luck!
Becca
xxdx

Original poster
Jinty123 · 07/04/2004 09:18

Thanks Beccarollover!! that certainly is encouraging. I'm going to email your message to my dh to give him a bit of a boost too

OP posts:
twiglett · 07/04/2004 09:59

message withdrawn

Original poster
Jinty123 · 07/04/2004 10:34

Thanks Twigglett,

I've already decided that we aren't going to do the 5/10/15 minute CC but rather just shut the door and hold each others hands until she stops!
She's very intelligent for her age and I think she twigged the last time we tried CC that if she kept on crying we would come in every so many minutes. So this time we need to do it cold turkey for our sakes and ultimately hers!

The first time I ever did CC with her she was 5/6 months old and it worked like a charm after only 3 days - she slept from 7pm - 5am and it was bliss. If she woke at night I would pop the dummy in and she would fall asleep again immediately. So my reasoning is that, if she could do it then, when she was so much younger and more likely to wake from hunger, then surely she can do it now when she eats more solids and protein and can go for much longer without feeding!

But the second time we tried CC my dh was not so keen anymore and hated hearing her cry. But I've now told him in no uncertain terms that I can't continue working an 8-5 job, 5 days a week and getting no more than 2 hours sleep at night. Something will have to give eventually and it will more than likely be my sanity and health.

Thanks for the input ladies!

OP posts:
twiglett · 07/04/2004 10:38

message withdrawn

wilbur · 07/04/2004 10:41

Good luck, jinty - and remember that a good night's sleep will be as much a blessing for her as it will be for you.

vivat · 07/04/2004 12:11

just a suggestion - i would tell her exactly what you're going to do before you do ie she won't understand the words (well she may understand more than you think!), but she may understand that a change of regime is coming up ! Best of luck - cc worked for us. Look forward to hearing how you are getting on

bundle · 07/04/2004 12:15

my advice would be: put on some headphones & loud music & get your partner to do it, the female hormones imo aren't particularly suited to this task
(dh did our cc a few weeks ago, worked a treat but we've since had a bit of a blip so I'll get him to do it again, she settles much better for him than me)
ps when is your dd one? our dd2 was born 22nd april

CountessDracula · 07/04/2004 12:17

It does work. I promise.

Good luck!

samwifewithkid · 07/04/2004 12:20

Go for it, I had to do this recentley with my dd (20 months at the time) and it's hard to let them cry it out. But you have to put your foot down as it's only going to get worse. She needs to know whos in charge and she's pushing the boundaries to see this. It's being cruel to be kind. She will feel much happier in the daytime when she is getting good sleep at night, it's not doing her any good to be waking this often. Good luck let us know how it goes!

Heathcliffscathy · 07/04/2004 12:34

goodluck jinty, just remember, without good sleep you and dh can't be the good parents that you could be if you got some...so you're doing it for all three of you, but mostly for your dd. be brave!!! its worth it.

Original poster
Jinty123 · 07/04/2004 13:02

Hi Bundle,

Our dd will be one on 29 April, so they are exactly one week apart!

OP posts:
bundle · 07/04/2004 13:10

where do you live?

Original poster
Jinty123 · 08/04/2004 07:14

Sorry Bundle, I live in SA a little too far for us to meet

OP posts:
minder34 · 08/04/2004 07:33

jinty.....there's no doubt that CC works..well it did for both of mine...but the timings got to be right...we had a few false starts with dd but found it much easier with ds(no.2)....eventually the guilt about leaving them to cry is taken over by the desparate need for sleep ....if you/your dh don't feel you can keep it up then I'd probably leave it for a while...the last thing you need is baby thinking "19 minutes...that means 1 more minute of screaming an she'll be in"

AussieSim · 08/04/2004 08:15

Dear Jinty. I haven't read the whole thread (must really get on with my day), but does your little angel have daytime naps. My DS is 14mths and the best guarantee of a good nights sleep is enough sleep during the day - at least 1.5hours. Sometimes in one nap, sometimes in two. Just try to make sure she gets in on the days you plan to do CC (which BTW also worked well for me). I personally find it easier to do if my DH is not around - having him there just aggravates me even more. But then as he works away 4 nights a week it was easy to do it that way.

Original poster
Jinty123 · 08/04/2004 14:59

Hi Aussiesim,

She goes to creche during the day but they say that she usually has at least one good sleep during the day. She also eats really well according to them so at least it puts my mind at rest that it's not hunger waking her or keeping her awake.

Thanks for the advice and encouragement ladies, will let you all know in 2 weeks how it went

OP posts:
Crunchie · 08/04/2004 15:48

Personally I think the going in and out does work, the idea is theat 1st time you leave it 5 mins, next time 10, next time 15. It almost helps the parent as much as the child. However I didn't have to use this very strictly and can't really remember it well.

Anyone got ideas on how to make a 3 and 5 yr old sleep when they fancying playing Without resorting to a shouting match

myermay · 08/04/2004 16:56

Message withdrawn

dinny · 08/04/2004 21:09

Jinty, have you tried putting your daughter in a sleeping bag? Does she kick the covers off? Just an idea - my dd only sleeps well in a bag. Under a duvet she wakes up loads. Good luck.

Original poster
Jinty123 · 19/04/2004 15:49

Just to let any ladies who are interested know, I have finally found what makes my daughter sleep through!!!

I had tried the family bed, and about a dozen other tried and tested 'tricks' to no avail. On Tuesday, 6 April I was finally at my wits end after getting about 2 hours sleep that night (I was on duty with dd).

So wednesday, 7 April we went back to placing the cot in the nursery and that night dd went to sleep on her own, in her room, in her cot. She was lights out at 7pm and only woke at 5am. Thursday night she cried (screamed blue murder) for 25 minutes from 7-7.25pm then went to sleep. Woke again at 9 and whimpered for about 15 minutes before dropping off to sleep again until 6.30am. Since then we have had 11-12 hours sleep straight every night. The answer for us: playing a radio very, very softly in her room. Also, when she cried I would go in see she was alright and leave immediately and not go back in for anything. We found that the 5/10/15 minute thing did not work for her.

I'm still in shock that something as simple as that was able to sort our problem out and now we are all getting the sleep we need

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