My 3 year old has never yet slept through the night

[ActuallyKnackered]

Just that, really.

I struggle to get DD2 to settle at bedtime despite a consistent routine, and every night of her life she has ended up coming into my bed. We made a conscious decision to co-sleep when she was newborn, but she has never upon never slept through the night so far.

It's taking it's toll.
DD1 was a crappy sleeper as a tiny baby but by this age she was settling herself happily to sleep and reliably sleeping through. In fact, by this age, DD2 was also here, already keeping me awake!

Bedtime settling goes through phases and it has been rubbish over the summer. We have cut out the afternoon sleeps (she just turned 3 this week) for almost a year, as if she sleeps in the day for more than 10 minutes she won't settle til gone 9, sometimes 10.

Today I felt like I am really failing her - this is something I am not successfully helping her to do (particularly bedtime)- and I am at the end of my tether. I don't like being shouty, but unbroken sleep has somewhat shortened my tether!

She finally went down at about 8.30 having started bedtime at 6.15, and I have just heard her plodding down the landing to our room. I will remove her from DH's chest when I go up and put her back in her bed. until about 1am

Please, someone tell me a miracle cure!

I know that this probably isn't what you want to hear but time works wonders. Our DS was still waking during the night every night at thst age (although he never had any problems settling at bed time). It all sort of clicked at four and a half though and he has slept through for the last six months.

One thing that I found useful at about 3 was not to allow him in our bed when he came through in the night. Instead we had his old cot mattress permanently on the floor beside us already made up and he would use that. It meant we werent getting kicked and also hopefully made coming through to our room less attractive.

That's not a bad idea at all, crocodile

I fully admit that some mornings I wake up and she's tucked in next to me and I have no idea how she got there! She can't climb up on our bed without a hand, so I must have pulled her in, although I don't even remember! We do have a massive superkingsize bed just as well, really.

I am trying to steel myself to wake up enough to take her back each time she comes in. This morning both of them were in my bed by 4.30am!

I don't know if this will help I hope it reassures in some way.

It is very unusual for my dd to sleep through the night and always has been she is 10, so it's not really bothered us for a long time now.
We never co slept and she has never been welcomed into our room.
I think sometimes children can just be like this irrespective of the environment and your parenting choices.
It may not get better in terms of sleep, but as she gets older she will manage it herself.
I'm not aware of dd awake now and she justs gets on with stuff, reads, gets her breakfast at stupid O'clock.

I do agree with the bed in your room, or even small mattress .
Maybe make her aware its not bad or scary to wake up and strategies for getting back to sleep again. Maybe a reward for staying in bed.

This was us with DD1. But we did a sticker chart for staying in bed at 3 and a half and finally cracked it. She rarely wakes now. Thankfully because DS is also a terrible sleeper!

bump

I have the same issue - my DD had reflux as a baby and used to sleep with me and feed all night long.
She is now 4.5 and still gets into bed with us a few times a week.

It has however got a lot better since she turned 4 and she's been in full time pre school. She's just started reception so I'm expecting it to improve further.

She also has a twin brother who has slept 12 hours a night in his own bed since he was 6 weeks old - so it just goes to show that sometimes it's just the child and what they need individually rather than anything that you as a parent do or don't do. She is very tactile and likes to be close to me and in physical contact.

I also got frustrated with the broken sleep and this morning she woke me at 6am as she'd got into bed with her brother and wanted another blanket. But is has improved generally.

I have a four-year-old who rarely sleeps through. Is your DD waking and disturbing you or just moving from one place to another? My son always starts off in his own bed and will come into ours any time between midnight and 6am - usually by stealth so we just wake up and he's there! Tbh it doesn't really disturb us so we haven't minded too much until now.

However I will have a new baby in a few weeks, and with the crib in our room and trying to bf at night I do want to start dissuading him.

Someone else has recommended the mattress by the side of the bed thing - that way they can come in if they really want, but won't be kicking you/taking up space, plus they'll probably soon realise that their bed is comfier anyway. We've bought a little chair bed thing that we are going to do this with soon (well, as soon as I get around to it)...