4 year old now getting up numerous times. V tired. Pls help

[Flowerspowers]

My 4 year old had been sleeping for 11-12 hours a night, reliably, since she was 8 months old, until just under 6 months ago (when I was 7 months pregnant). At that point she started to get up, not every night, at first, but often more than once and come into my/dh's room to be taken back to bed without fuss and she goes back to sleep, until the next time. Prevaricating at bedtime followed which is painful. Last night she got up 4 times-she says she has bad dreams and doesn't want to be on her own. I also have a 4 month old who sleeps amazingly but I'm exhausted and DD1 is very sensitive and cries at smallest things etc when tired so I REALLY want to sort this.

Approaches so far tried/failed:

When we realised it wasn't to be short lived we installed a Gro clock to make it clear when it's ok to get up.

She and I have talked about it and possible solutions eg we've put some pictures of her family and friends by her bed as well as a book-also a torch and she has a bedside light.

After a while the gro clock stopped having the right affect and it stressed her out and she asked for one of us to get her up instead.

Explained the importance of sleep for playing.

Said not to leave her room but to call (we have a monitor still) if she needs us - as a way of reassuring and not as a different way of being disturbed. She still gets up.

Left her bedroom door ajar so light comes into her room.

Tonight we hung out in her room a lot before bedtime playing a board game and reading more books than usual, to encourage a more positive feeling from her about her room (someone suggested it). Having said that she plays with her friends in her room a lot.

Talked about how sleep is important for everyone.

Talked about how dreams are not real.

There are probably other things but I'm too tired to remember..!

I haven't ever offered a reward for her staying in bed all night as I want in the one hand for her to feel she can get to us if there is a problem and not stay in bed ill, upset etc for the sake of a sticker but on the other hand I find it strange that there are suddenly frequent 'problems' now. When she gets up I ask her what the problem is and take her back to her room. She has had rewards and other supports to encourage going to bed nicely eg:
Reward chart with stickers
Reward chart with stickers and special prize if x no of stickers
Extra story after I leave (as she's a big girl now!)

Anyone else experienced this and got a solution?

Same thing happened with my 3.5 year old when I was 9 months pregnant and after the baby was born. He was always a perfect sleeper. I think it was a reaction to the baby.
All you did was great, my son has a vivid imagination too its hard.
What I did is spent a good hour together before his bed with no baby interruption and then his dad put him to bed. He is more firm and same at night when he woke up only my husband went. When it was me, it was too hard he wouldnt let me go/ stop crying he only wanted to stay with me, whereas with my husband he could be reasoned with.

Wishing you best of luck.... x x

Thanks littlefrenchmummy. Can you give me hope that this phase ends?

Oh and the 4 month old has decided tonight to no longer sleep amazingly. Must have read this post and decided I was having things too easy

Just had 4th visit from 4 year old. Bad dreams and her room is scary apparently. I'm done in.

Do the kids share a room?
If not, would you consider putting them in the same room, so they aren't alone?

If her room/dreams are scary, can you get her to decide who could protect her: say a knight, or fairy, and then get a toy of the item, who can be told every night that nasty dreams and scary things are not allowed to get to DD so she can sleep all night?

I don't recommend it, but I lost it at DS1 when he was about 3 (bad sleeper from the start), and told him we weren't going swimming because Mummy and Daddy we too tired after he'd been up for several hours the night before. The little monkey stayed in his room all the next night, and then popped up saying "swimming today Mummy. I didn't wake you last night" He now usually potters in his room from when he wakes up (early starts are our only remaining issue) til the clock changes color - I usually hear him about 5am, but he doesn't come in til 6.15 (get up time here )

Thanks addictedtosugar. It has crossed my mind. I worry that they'll each wake each other though.

I completely understand how easy it is to lose your rag when sleep is so lacking.

Things have gone ok so far tonight. We got a new night light today and has promised to say through the monitor if she needs something - she tested it's working about 4 times in 10 mins and since then I've not heard anything. She's also asked to have the gro clock back - I think she likes being in charge of getting up ie not having to wait for us. The 4 month old has a cough so I have everything crossed that that's the cause for her waking up last night.

Im off to bed soon. Fingers crossed.....

Oh and I asked her if she knows what scary means and she said she doesn't. Think DH might have planted a seed there- typical!