Doing gradual retreat 'what worked for us' right now. Anyone around for company?

[qumquat]

Dd has been happily cruising around the cot since 7.30, far from being upset she seems positively thrilled we're not hugging or feeding her to sleep. Happy she's not crying but wondering how long she can hold out. The original thread said 2 hours was the longest on record, she will go past that for sure! Is anyone else watching and waiting?!?!?

The magic of mumsnet! Just after I typed this I lay her back down for the nth time and put my hand on her stomach - and she stayed down and went to sleep!!! Just under the two hour mark, and without crying! Here's hoping it helps her to wake up less in the night... Would still love to hear from others attempting the same thing

We are sort of doing this... I have been sitting with a hand on DS (8 months) to stop him rolling for about a hundred years 6 weeks.
For ages he just stuck his hands through the bars to try and play with me. I had to sit with my eyes closed and pretend to be asleep!!

I am now at the stage where I can stand next to cot, not touching DS and just sing or shush if he cries. Sometimes when the planets are correctly aligned I can even stand halfway across the room and he will go to sleep. On one amazing day probably a fluke I even managed to stand outside the door!

Unfortunately, he is still waking in the night, and in the night I still have to pat or rock him back to sleep, and it sometimes still takes ages. 90mins to get him back to sleep last night. Grrr.

However, this is progress because 6 weeks ago I had to pat or rock him to sleep for bedtime, all wakings and naps. Now it is only night wakings, and we are down to one usually, but more at the moment due to teething and snottiness.

Good luck!!

Oh, and I should add that he will only settle if I am in the room. OH is not good enough, however much patting, shushing, rocking and cuddling he does. DS just keeps screaming until I give up and haul myself out of bed, then grins when I turn up.

DS has also worked out how to sit up very quickly from lying down, so now he pops up and down like a jack-in-the-box and I have to lie him down MANY times some nights. And sometimes he giggles, so clearly thinks it is a brilliant game.

I'm trying to do this with 11.5mo baby - loosely using the 'Sleep Lady shuffle' approach... Its gradual withdrawal, where every 3 days you move further away. Except she says only lie the baby down once (to avoid it becoming a game), but when she starts getting upset I lie her down each time.

So far, I'm on day 7, so should be moving to the door today, but baby didn't take well to me moving to the chair so I'll see how it goes.

Oh & DH is insistent that the baby can't cry at night as it'd wake him (important job & he needs sleep, even at weekends), so I'm trying to do the same shuffle if she wakes up before he goes to bed, but after he's in bed I have to feed/rock her to sleep... so she must be confused! :(

Last night she cried from 9.30-10.45pm - in between me jiggling her/lying her down etc. It seemed like she fell asleep for a minute or so 5 times, then started howling again, which was pretty distressing.

I'm feeling a bit disheartened with it. So far we've had

• An amazing 1st 3 nights where she was only up twice in the night (usually 3-6 times) and slept til 7.30am (usually up 5.30-6)
• 4th night - up 4 times, but slept til 7.45am
• 5th night - up 7 times, slept til 7.10am
• 6th night - up 3 times, slept til 6.50am

So it seems really variable, although we all have coughs, she's possibly cutting teeth & learning to walk - & her naps are variable! So lots of factors could be affecting her.

I'm working on improving her naps the last couple of days, as they're meant to improve night wakings, but the problem is I have older kids so doing this is meaning that basically we don't leave the house. :( You just can't win! Oh & next week I'll be back doing the school run (8.30-9.15 & 2.50-3.45), so her naps will have to fit around that! Poor baby. :(

On the plus side, today she's napped 9.20-10.40 and went down at 1.50, so if she has a decent sleep now then hopefully she'll sleep ok tonight... she's having her naps in the buggy in the garden, so once she's sleeping better at night I guess that'll be the next thing to work on!

Sorry, thats an essay...

Thanks everyone, lots of interesting stuff. Tonight she fell asleep on the boob, I roused her and she cried for a minute but then went straight back to sleep in the cot. Not sure if that is a success or if she didn't really wake up properly so it's cheating!
Last night she woke at 11 but cried for a minute them settled right back to sleep - unheard of! She woke again at 3 and I fed her in the chair. She cried going back in the cot so I fed her to sleep in the cot. So I guess I'm a massive wimp but have decided to do it by baby steps!
As it was it was still the best night ever!

Glad you had a successful night. Ours was one of the worst since he was born. He is teething and dribbling for England and also completely full of snot, which is affecting his breathing and waking him. He was up every 45 mins from 9.30pm onwards, taking 20-30mins to resettle each time, and then at 1.30am he woke at took two long horrible hours to resettle.
Had to rock him to sleep because he kept waking himself snorting through his stuffy little nose, poor thing.

Spoke too soon, tonight is not successful! Woke up howling and won't settle.

Aw, poor ill baby. I've found this site helpful with advice about technique & expectations.

DD up 3 times last night - 1st was a self-settle(ish with a few cuddles) that took 16 mins - yday was 45 so seems like progress!

She just needs to learn to stay lying down. The 2nd she wakes up in the night she's standing up... I spend a lot of time fruitlessly saying lie down baby, lie down. This morning she looked at me and said "ie-dow"...

Well done leeloo.

We are making anti-progress. Last night up every 45mins, taking an hour to resettle every time, even using every strategy known to man. Final wakeup at 3.30 took 2 hours, and he finally fell asleep in spare bed with me, but slept horizontally and snoring like a pig, plus constantly turning over so I couldn't sleep at all.
3 hours total sleep for me.
Final score, Stuffy nose 2, Mummy 0.

Thanks Ellie and poor you, I hate nights like that! I guess when they're ill then nothing will work - you just have to try and survive it and start the 'training' again when they're better.