help!! newborn/5wo will not sleep!!

[dennant]

Hello all, after some much needed advice as I am getting very stressed out.
Got a 5 week old gorgeous dd but.... she will not sleep, ever!!
Since the moment she was born she has fought going to sleep. She would only sleep on us at first, have never been able to put her down while drowsy as she screams the house down.
She will only nap for 10 mins on the boob, but wakes as soon as you move her. Even if I can get her to sleep during the day, Its for a maximum of 40 minutes maybe once a day, the rest of the time she just cries.
No amount of sushing, rocking, walking around helps.
She hates the buggy, but loves the sling, but it kills my back carrying her in it for more than an hour. She wakes as soon as I try and transfer her out of it.
We have no nursery ready (long story) so she has to go down wherever I am in the house.
She gets so over tired that at the end of the day it can take us 2 or 3 hours of feeding, rocking shushing before she will finally fall asleep, been like this for weeks now not beung able to get her to sleep before 11pm most nights.
Dr says she doesn't have colic reflux or any other issues but it is driving both me and dp crazy!
We will get 4-6 hrs out of her when she finally falls asleep, yhen go through it again in the early hours to get her back to sleep, then she will doze for another hour or two before waking for the day at 6am.
The crying grinding me down. How on earth can I get her to sleep??

DD1 was exactly the same as this, but I was lucky to have a sling I got on with and almost wore it out in the first six months. Do you have a sling library nearby? If you could find one you get on with better (or get help using the one you have in a way that doesn't help your back) at this very young age you're probably best off trying to make that work, as you know she likes it and they're just little tiny bundles of need at this age. What sling are you using?

"Tiny bundles of need" I like that. I second the sling. If its hurting your back you maybe need to try another one or see if you can adjust it. They really are great if you get the right sort.

Have you tried swaddling her at night? DS1 was difficult to settle and swaddling him made it a lot easier.

hi dennant. our daughter was the same, constant crying and general misery all round. some kind friend bought me a Moby sling, its a massive long piece of fabric that you wrap around yourself and makes the baby feel like they are still in the womb, its also very very comfy. I did all cooking housework etc, even used to go to the toilet with it on and her still in the moby. it was a life saver. also make sure you get out and get a walk twice a day if you can at set times both ends of day, fresh air and the routine of it will help you both hopefully. I wish you all the luck in the world and it will get better I promise. I can post you my old moby if you'd like it to try x

doh..... what I failed to mention was that it helped us in that she sould feel reassured by the sling and get decent sleep while I had her wrapped up in the sling and in return she just started sleeping better all round, never all the way through but better than the first months of hell.

Thanks all. I have the close caboo, very similar to the Moby wrap, so thank you for the kind offer to let me trial it. I a mutually just bought one for my neighbour so can try hers.
Swaddling doesn't work, she loves having her hands up by her face and having room to kick her legs about. She just gets frustrated when we swaddled her- cue more crying!!
Yesterday I kept her in the sling for longer so she would sleep, and she was more chilled out in the evening but it still took 3 hrs to get her to fall asleep. In the end the only thing that worked was feeding to sleep which I really don't want to become a habit. (Pulls her hair out)

*actually not mutually
Stupid spell check!

Also forgot to mention, I do walk twice a day already with my dog, 40 mins a time, with dd in the sling as she hates the pram (converts to a bassinet)

Are you breastfeeding? At 5 weeks she will most likely be wanting to cluster feed in the evening and 11pm is a very normal time for a newborn to settle for their longest stretch of sleep (which if you are getting 4-6 hours you are very, very lucky!!)

We are mix feeding as I had a section and my milk never really got established.

I still think the evening patten you describe is very very normal. Babies don't really settle into a set bedtime until closer to 12 weeks

4-6 hours of night time sleep in one go is brilliant at 5 weeks old. Well done you!

She may be really overtired so wired by the end of the day. I have a dd wjo is now 4 and similar to yours. She got really overstimulated very easoly so keeping her downstairs with us made her crazy. Once we settled her in a dark room she was much better. Even better if you use white noise to zone out the sounds that may disturb her, and swaddling really helps most babies. I have a new little one now and the difference swaddling had made is amazing. Previous he was waking himself every ten minutes by jabbing his hands in his face. My new ds is a totally different kettle of fish. Much more easy going so don't beat yourself up that you have made your baby into a sleep fighter. Some just are. If you read the baby whisperer forums they have a questionnaire about types of babies and some really helpful tips on settling your type of baby. It has made a massive difference here.

Btw my overstimulated dd is now the best sleeper ever once we got to grips with it sotake heart!

I always remember being told you have to help a baby sleep - some wont just sleep - then you get a pattern of over tiredness. You have to watch for sleepy signs - eye rubbing, ear pulling, yawns and hit them with everything to help them drop off!

Have you tried a dummy? Some babies find sucking soothing to wind down.

I had a friend who's DD only settled when she was laid on her tummy - not advised I know.

Both my babies, have liked to go to sleep with something on their face - muslin half over their face they can nestle into and then remove it before you step away from them or put them down. Dont leave it in the cot where they can grab it and stick it over their face either.

My DS likes his head and nose being stroked gently and rhythmically. He often cries uncontrollably just before he drops off, and that is when you might change tact, but its when you shouldn't as its the last bit of fight and he drops off peacefully in the end :)

Sorry just throwing out some tips out there - hope you find a solution - it can drive you insane I know!

Good luck, it wont be forever. This shall pass.

Hi. Thanks for the tips. We do try a dummy already which she loves (when she can keep it in, Still learning that one! )

My PFB wouldn't take a dummy either, she was a muslin sucker, which is now her sleeve :)

My dd is very attached to her blankie- only worked that one out when she was sick one night and I bunged it in the wash and she was inconsolable.

I second the advice about trying to swaddle, particularly since she will sleep in the sling (which is kind of a big swaddle attached to you). I thought my DS didn't want to be swaddled as he would fight to have his hands out, but a strong swaddle (we used the miracle blanket) made a massive difference to his sleep, getting him from only sleeping 45 mins max to a slightly more reasonable 3 hours at a time. And at this age I wouldn't worry too much about feeding to sleep - you can break that sleep association when she's a bit older and you are less sleep deprived!