DD is 23 months. She has been a very variable sleeper - months of brilliant sleep right from a newborn - then months of constant waking - repeat. We never really know where we are with her.
From 15-20 months she slept BRILLIANTLY - 11-12 hours straight every single night - I had just got pregnant again - we thought that we were out of the disturbed nights entirely. Nope! For the last few months she wakes once or twice a night, usually from around 2-3am. That doesn't sound too bad, but she absolutely refuses to go back into the cot. My lovely DP sleeps with her at this point (there is a bed next to her cot) and lets me get my pregnant zzzzz (I told you he is lovely). This is not ideal BUT if he stays with her she goes back to sleep quickly and we all mostly get enough sleep.
We have kept saying we will "do something" about this but haven't and now new baby is 4 weeks away.
I feel like just accepting it at this point - historically she has become a wonderful sleeper again after months of constant waking without us changing ANYTHING - I am not really a sleep-training type. DP wants to do a week of insisting she stays in the cot till morning. Will probably involve a lot of tantrums and her properly waking up, grumpier days. I think it's too late now and don't want to disrupt her near to the new baby. BUT I am pretty sad DP might not be in my bed much with new baby (we co-slept in the early days with this one, I did the feeds he did the nappies it was very cuddly and we both loved it, we both looked after each other and got enough rest). DP is stressed and feels like a failure of a parent for not having this sorted yet. I keep telling him he is amazing for having done pretty much all the nights this year.
Other info if needed : she has a 1hr nap over lunch which she seems to still desperately need, she has a good bedtime routine and goes down reliably at 7-7.30pm, gets up around 6.30am.
What would you do? Just accept a household of sleep deprivation (which is going to happen ANYWAY with a newborn) or try and "sort it out"? What things could we try? I have also considered letting her come into our bed (along with baby) when she wakes but she is a right wriggler, kicks everyone, and our bed is only a double...