Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

Demon bitch mum from hell

9 replies

PollyP0429 · 31/08/2014 03:23

Just had a CIO sesh with DD... I didn't realise it was possible to feel this level of self loathing.

DD is 7months old and a nightmare come midnight. Usually she wakes up, DH goes in, soothes her, comes back to bed and hopefully that only happens once before 2/3am when I get up for her feed. Usually its about 3 times in that hour by which point DH is fed up and asks me to feed her. This is frustrating considering we agreed on set feeding intervals. So we come to tonight when DH decides that after an early feed again he wants to leave her to cry and in desperation, I agree.

I have never ever agreed with CIO. In fact I am so vehemently against it I feel its nothing short of neglect.

After an hour of angry crying/screaming (which I could just handle leaving) she's starting to have a few heaving sobs in between screaming and the odd quiet period. I am feeling like a massive hypocrite but now feel we need to finish what we started and say so. I'm now quietly crying and DH is starting to say he'll go in now - as if this was always the point of the exercise. I delay him fod anotber half an hour until DD has given over to nearly exhausted whimpering with the odd scream. Then he goes in.

I don't know how to deal with whats going on in my head. I feel so angry and resentful and hypocritical and hateful right now that I feel physically sick. And the guilt :(

I have been having mega mood swings since my periods returned a month ago and I know I need to go back to the docs for these az they make me murderous. DH is obviously aware of this situation as well.

All of this is just too much for me tonight. I can't handle being me right now. And I know I'vs rambled and gone way off topic. I wantex to ask what people thought I could try to help DD sleep more? She has a good routine and goes down with varying degrees of success and she sleeps well until midnight when all hell breaks loose. We need something a bit more structured than no-cry but under no circumstances will I ever do CIO again.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
grobagsforever · 31/08/2014 04:04

Go and pick her up, cuddle her and feed her. I'm doing nights all alone with newborn and four year old since DH died in June. If I can do it so can you. Your DD will be ok but please don't do this again.

grobagsforever · 31/08/2014 04:05

It's not worth upsetting you or her like this. Cuddle her and forgive yourself.

elvislives2012 · 31/08/2014 04:25

Agree with grobags. Pick her up, feed her and chalk it up to experience. I never did CIO and my DD was horrendous! I did do controlled crying when she was a lot older and that helped. U could try the no cry sleep solution or pick up out down? Google them. Both a lot gentler. Hope you're ok xxx

JoandMax · 31/08/2014 04:30

Go and get her and cuddle and feed her and tell her you love her. We all get desperate with bad sleepers, there's thousands of mums who have all been there so you are not alone. Your DD will be absolutely fine xx

JoandMax · 31/08/2014 04:31

As for making her sleep better I wish I had the answer! The only thing that has ever worked for us is co-sleeping but I know that's not for everyone.

butterfliesinmytummy · 31/08/2014 04:37

You poor things. It's been a long time since mine were that little but I did find with dd1 that purposely messing with her "routine" helped. Would you give her a dream feed around 11pm, might prevent her waking at midnight and give her enough to sleep through a bit? It does all work out, even though it seems it may never!

noexcuseiammental · 31/08/2014 04:41

Hi OP

I have found with DS, and have learnt on the way, that people swear by CIO or PUPD or co sleeping, they use what is good for them. But it might not be good for the child. I had a thing in my head what sort of mum I wanted to be and what technices I wanted to use. DS had different plans when it comes to sleep, we are now in the process of putting him back to bed whenever he gets up (DS is 2) before this when he was about 6 months we did the PUPD method and between 1 and 2 we did the CIO method nothing has worked. I am hoping the put back to bed thing does cause we are starting to run out of ideas.

The only advice I have is think outside of your box and try methods you never thought about

ColdCottage · 31/08/2014 04:45

Give yourself a break, I was one time. She won't remember even though you will. She will be fine once you feed and cuddle her. The cuddle will help you too.

Do you use a dummy? I find this settles DS as focuses his mind on sleep, you may need to lay near by to pop it back in a few times at first and after that, pop back in and replace it.

Also try adding an extra bottle at bed time from expressed or formula to really fill her tummy.

Good luck.

Mummytoagorgeouschops · 03/09/2014 10:08

I used to leave my DD to scream. It worked! I had PND and if I hadn't just left her I honestly don't think I would be here today

New posts on this thread. Refresh page