Do co-sleepers sleep through?

[blushingmare]

DD was a terrible sleeper and it took months of trying to find "the solution" to realise that the solution was actually to accept the broken sleep and find ways of coping with it! So with DS I have been "partially co-sleeping" from the word go. He sleeps in a co-sleeper cot next to me and when he wakes I bring him into bed, feed him lying down and fall asleep as he is feeding. I wake up some time later and then transfer him back into his cot til his waking. I'm getting a reasonable amount of sleep doing this, even though he's waking every 2-3 hours, it doesn't feel too bad.

However I know that DS is a better sleeper than DD ever was at this age, or at least has potential to be. He self-settles at nap times and bedtimes. But when he wakes at night I just grab him and feed him straight away because I just want him to go back to sleep ASAP! I'm a light sleeper, so the slightest stirring from him and I'm awake and will feed him.

Do you think this would be stopping him from stretching out his night wakings? He's 3.5 months now and his wakings are pretty much the same as when he was newborn. Do other co-sleeping babies start to stretch out their night wakings naturally and eventually sleep through or did they not start sleeping through til you stopped co-sleeping?

I co-slept until DS was 16 weeks and yes, he didn't start to stretch out until he was in his own cot and able to wake/wriggle/re-settle himself naturally in the night without a boob automatically in his mouth.

blushingmare

What you wrote is exactly the same as I was with my first born daughter and second born son (who are now aged 10 and 9).

We did the bedside cot, lying down breastfeeding, not really waking up to fed him, dropping to sleep while he BF and sliding him back into his cot when (if) I woke up later. It was a godsend after DD, who was a terrible sleeper. With DS I didn't even register how often or when he fed through the night, it was enlightening.

3.5 months is early to be worrying yet. We carried on like this until DS was 6 months old, at which time husband and I swapped sides of the bed (in order to stop breastfeeding at night) and introduced a dummy. It took less than a week before he was sleeping through and settling himself when he woke.

DS continues, and has always been, a great sleeper. He sleeps really deeply and we have never had any issues with him waking at night. Even now he knows when he is tried and will take himself to bed when ready, falls asleep quickly and has very restorative sleep.

I coslept with my twins until they were just over 3 years old.

They slept through once they self-weaned at 2yrs 6mo and 2yrs 9mo. Until then, they'd sleep from bedtime until around 12.30am, feed, then sleep until another feed at 3.30am and 5.30am then up at 6.30am ish.

I had a few months of blissful sleep before we moved them to their own room. Since then, they sleep well but come in to us at some point in the night. So I am back to two wakings (when each of them climb in) now. Wouldn't change it though - I love the cuddles :)

Thanks that's good to know. I'm quite happy with how things are for now and it's all so much better than it was with DD, so I feel pretty lucky. But it sounds like when we want to move on from this, we'll need to actively do something rather than hoping he'll sleep through on his own under the current "regime". The problem is it's just so easy to do what I'm doing, I know it'll be hard to actively do anything differently, but obviously I'd prefer not to be waking through the night too!

My story is similar to yours in that I ended up co sleeping with ds1 out of necessity, and then planned to co sleep the second time just because it seemed sensible.

Ds2 has turned out to be a totally different kettle if fish than ds1 (thank god ). Ds1 woke every hour or so till night weaning at 16 months, and first slept through at 18 months. Ds2 slept through for the first time at about 3 months, and now at 6 months does so about half the time. When he does wake it's once or twice for a quick five minute feed. He has never slept anywhere but in bed with me.

Some babies sleep, some don't! Based on my experience, location has sod all to do with it.

Mine both slept well. However I think the co sleeping depends on night feeding also

So mine still sleep next to us at 3 and 4 years, but go to bed at 9pm alone and sleep until 9am if able.

As babies I fed on demand until 12 weeks ish then after dream fed around midnight then didn't feed at any waking until morning. ( bar water if hot). Both slept midnight-8/9am from 16 weeks reliably . Between 12-16 weeks I or dh just settled them without a feed if they woke

Oh goodness! So what did you so to settle without feeding? Did it involve a lot of crying and sitting up in the night, because I know I'll end up caving and feeding if I had to do that! Oh hey, all babies are different aren't they, so my DS I'm sure will be different to your's, but just interested to hear other people's experiences - thanks

Blush - dh took over any wakings for first few days so they learnt milk wasn't an option. Then took turns. Just laid next to them ( cot right next to bed), and stroked face/ held hand most of the time, occasionally got them out and resettled then stroked hand/ face as before.

I think the key thing was I tried to not feed to sleep at any point during the day or evening so they didn't really associate feed with sleep, so didn't need it so much to get back to sleep

Ie our bed routine would be feed baby around 8pm whilst we ate also at table. Then short massage/ play, wash or bath and in clean babygrow. Then pop in Moses basket in living room around 8.30-9pm whilst still awake. Would stroke hand to sleep if needed but tried to let them settle alone if happy.
Then when we went to bed I would half wake them and feed, then pop down in cot next to bed for the night

I've had a lot of the same concerns blushingmare. My dd is 5 months and we've ended up co sleeping through necessity. She requires human contact to sleep, feeding/sling/co sleeping, she just can't do it by herself! Like you I keep hoping she'll grow out of it as some nights it just feels like I'm awake all night. Keep thinking better to co sleep till she does longer stretches but is it our co sleeping that stops her doing that?! Not that she d sleep alone anyway! V interesting to hear other experiences.

My terrible sleeper did eventually outgrow it! He's 2.5 now and sleeps through barring the odd nightmare. Started sleeping through whilst cosleeping and is now just as happy to sleep alone.