Breaking bad habits

[hattiesmum]

Can anyone tell me how easy/hard it is to break a very bad sleep habits? DS is 9 months old now and still wakes at 4.00am every morning crying. The easiest way to get him back to sleep is to give him a bottle but I know he doesn't really need it. Sometimes he wakes more than once and am ashamed to say I give him formula every time. This morning his nappy was so full I could barely lift him out of his cot. Also my DD who is 2.4 is waking 2-3 times a night and calling for mummy. I go in and settle her, it usually only takes a few minutes, but I find it almost impossible to fall back to sleep quickly myself. I don't think I've had a full nights sleep since DS was born and I'm exhausted. Tonight I'm thinking of just leaving them to settle themselves and let them cry themselves back to sleep. Will this work and how long will it take? Advice please mums!!

Hattiesmum - I had exactly the same problem with my DS when he was the same age and the other DS when he was four (probably due to DS 9mths!). I left DS 9mths to settle down by himself for only a few minutes the first might then went to give him reassurance, then slowly increased the time for him to settle by himself each night whilst never removing him from his cot or giving him his bottle. It does work - took about a week for him to eventually get a full nights sleep (DS4 followed in a few days time) but it realy pulls on the heart strings. You have to remember that you're doing it in theirs and yours best interest which is hard when it's 4 in the morning and your shattered. Good Luck

Thanks teamum. Am dreading it TBH. I know it's going to be very hard. Have visions of them both crying their hearts out at 4.00am and me probably joining in! DP will sleep through it all of course!

It's really difficult I had to grit my teeth! particularly with DH!- just build up slowly, give reassurance and persevere - other than illness mine have both slept through every night since

God, this is awful. He's screaming like a banshee, I'm sure he'll be sick soon. I put him down awake instead of with a bottle like I usually do and he's been crying for about 40 minutes now. I've been in a couple of times to reassure him but he's obviously not impressed. DD will probably wake up soon and then I'm really in trouble.

Bump

It took much longer than this with my DS1 I'm afraid. We moved him to the other side of the house and had about a week of him crying for an hour or more each night. And then after falling asleep for a few hours he'd wake up and do it again. There was nothing 'controlled' about this crying. It was bloody awful but I was so exhausted I was becoming concerned about my ability to drive the car safely let alone raise children. So we just left him to it - going in to reassure him just made things worse.

If your DD wakes up, give her a quick comfort and get her snuggled back down as quick as you can. Children do learn to sleep through all sorts of noise - even howling babies.

If you can tough it out he will learn to sleep on his own. You will feel like a fog has lifted. So as long as you're sure he doesn't need the milk - ie. he's not underweight and he's weaning well etc then stick to your guns and I wish you plenty of sleep for when you succeed.

If you're really committed to controlled crying in such a young baby, are you going in to reassure him that you're there? Just go in - say "It;s all right, mummy's just in the living room, go to sleep and we'll have more fun tomorrow"then go out again sharpish.

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Awful night. Cried for two solid hours from about 4.00am onwards but seems quite happy this morning. I'm the one with the suitcases under her eyes. Did go in a couple of times to stroke his back for a few seconds then left again. Same routine tonight I guess and hope that it gets better. Wish me luck everyone.

my dd is 23 months and has started to wake up screaming in the midlle of the night. she ends up waking up ds who is 2 months and a very good sleeper!!

have to do control crying, but dp ends up putting her in our bed which i hate! so i end up telling him off and i put her back making me look like the bad one!! she'll settle after about half an hour!!

Good luck. It really IS worth it in the end!

Hey, it actually seems to be working! Last night DS slept from 8.00pm to 6.00am. I gave him his bottle (I figured he'd earned it!) and then he went back to sleep until about 7.15am. DD woke up once but by the time I'd come round and got to her room she'd gone back to sleep! Hurrah! Just maybe, we've turned the corner....

How is it going Hattiesmum ? I am also doing the same thing with DD wo is 14momths and will wake each morning around 4-6am for a bottle . I am doing controlled crying as have to move her in with DD1 who is 3 soon and have a baby on the way in 5 months and so need her to learn to settle without the bottle. She has always fallen alseep with bottle in her cot for night time since we went on travels and it was the "easiest " thing to do then, never again !

First night awful, 4-5.40 am then last night whimper at 5am but only 5 mins then up again at 6.15am, but then I did the same as you and gave her the bottle in the cot and did not hear again till 7am.

I am not expecting it to be easy and last nights success I do not guarantee to be repeated tonight, so am bracing myself for the worse !

I hope that you are over the worse ?!

Sigh, it's one step forward and one step back again I'm afraid. Last night he cried from 4.20am for about an hour but then didn't wake again until about 8.00am. Am overjoyed at the 8.00am bit but wish I hadn't had the hour long screaming in between! Of course Dd woke up as well so had to go in and get her back off to sleep. Happily that only took a few minutes. Just one night's unbroken sleep, I'd kill for it I really would!

Look, I don't want to jinx myself but I've now had not one but three nights where he's slept through! He wakes for a few minutes and has a good cry then remembers I'm not going in to him anymore so he goes back to sleep! My God, it's a miracle! I'M GETTING A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP AT LAST!!!!! Hurray for me!

Bump

YEY! It's soooooo hard, and it does take a few nights for them to realise what's going on, but they do eventually get it. He's in the safest place he can be (cot), won't hurt himself etc. and you know if he just works it out he'll be a happy bunny. Getting more continuous sleep himself will be doing him the world of good too. Keep it up!

(Just to say we did leave ds once to cry himself off, but couldn't do it again and found that going in every 5 mins worked for us, picking up for a cuddle and not putting him back until he was calm, sometimes I had to soothe him for 10mins at a time, but it still lasted the hour and a half, falling asleep eventually from tiredness, but I felt much better being there with him. That's the way we did it in the end. Thankfully dd has been much easier and has taken to a muslin cloth for comfort at night. Just dreading the day we have to wean her off that one!)

We've had a few setbacks though. Monday and Tuesday nights he screamed continually from 4.00am for about an hour and a half. Eventually cried himself to sleep by 5.30am and then dd woke at 6.00am! However, last night he woke at 4.50am and was asleep again by 5.00am so will just keep doing what I'm doing and hope for the best. My goal is for him to go a whole week without getting me up in the night - then I'll know we've cracked it! Will keep you posted...