She's still sobbing

[Spod]

I'm trying to teach my 5.5mth old to take her naps in the cot rather than having to go out for a walk to get her to sleep and also to go down at night without being breastfed. i started this yesterday morning.... then the drama lasted 17mins. great, i thought, its supposed to get less everytime. last night i caved in cos it was so awful...after 30 mins she and i were too distressed...she wasnt hungry but it got her off to sleep. and now its taken 40 mins this nap time....lots of crying... i stay with her, pick her up, put down when calm, reassure her....sill cries and cries. eventually she fell asleep 20 mins ago but is still sobbing in her sleep. please tell me it gets better...this is awful,i hate it.

From my opinion it gets better. My dd is just over 5 months old and is now doing very well about going to sleep on her own. I do give her abit of a feed b4 she is put into bed - she is abit of a snacker and I kinda believe that it is good to go with what she wants.

Anyhow she went through a patch of being all dramatic and noisy. But we worked through it. Just to be consistent. I hold her hand... say Ssshhhh.. sleepy sleepy.
I also found that when it was not working to change things abit. This meant for me not instigating huge change all at once.... it seems huge to them - even if it seems little to you.
I make a little routine of it all now... some time in the sling getting all relaxed and chilled... watch mama close the curtains... a little drink... then in she goes.. with a sleepy sleepy and a kiss. She seems to know this now and is doing really well.
You have only just started doing this so it will take a little while - depending on her temperament - to adjust.

Good luck and ((hugs))

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thnks. i know caving in was the worst thing to do. i just felt soooooo cruel. I did stay with her (apart from when i walked out for a few mins to stop myself screaming!)so she didnt feel abandoned i hope... but that didnt seem to reassure her much. even when i picked her up she didnt calm down completly. i guess i have to stick with it. I read somewhere that daddies should be the ones to do it so that babies dont think mum is withholding milk - as that breaks a trust? what u think?

thnks. i know caving in was the worst thing to do. i just felt soooooo cruel. I did stay with her (apart from when i walked out for a few mins to stop myself screaming!)so she didnt feel abandoned i hope... but that didnt seem to reassure her much. even when i picked her up she didnt calm down completly. i guess i have to stick with it. I read somewhere that daddies should be the ones to do it so that babies dont think mum is withholding milk - as that breaks a trust? what u think?

If u want to be in the room which I reckon helps reassure them even if they are crying try to be low key and relaxed with the voice - even when u feel like yelling.
That way she does not feel abandoned but also indicates that it is time to sleep.

Try your dh out if u think it will work--- but you might need to leave the house... I personally would find it worse than being in the room!

When it was hard for me I relaxed off the new programme abit to give us both a break and when it was reintroduced things were better - we were both getting better with practise.

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I hid at first and did not let her see me all the time!
I reckon it can be abit distracting for them also.

There was a stage when I could leave room - but not when she was crying... it was more a quick rant b4 sleep set in.

i'll try leaving the room then... maybe go in every so often... i dont think i can leave her to cry it out

Spod, she's still quite young. I was always told that cc etc. didn't really work until beyond 6 months old. My dd fell asleep on my breast at bedtime and in her pram in the day until she was around 9 months old and those few months made a lot of difference as I could sit with her and look at a book and get her to wave bye bye to things in the room before taking her to bed. She understood more so could understand the going to bed process better. Having said that it drove me nuts at the time to have to walk round with her in the pram for her daytime naps but I just couldn't cope with listening to the crying. In the end it didn't seem to matter that I left it until 9 months, she didn't cry much at all and has slept in the cot day and night really well since. Do whatever feels best for you. Remember that they change so much in a few months at this age and you might find it easier when she's a little bit older.

thanks evita. I have to agree with you. i can't listen to her cry again. I've just tried doing it again and i feel that she doesnt understand what i'm trying to teach her anyway so whats the point. i wasnt attempting cc as i dont like the method anyway.... i just wanted to put her down drousy so the final few stps to dreamland were taken independently. but i hate it and she hates it. and the pram works and i need the exercise! i dont feel like i caved in either.

I never took to cc either. Though I have left her to 'grumble' herself to sleep as she's got older. Recently my dd, 18 months now, had a phase of screaming when I put her down for naps and cc just didn't work. Or rather I didn't do it as rigidly as you have to for it to work. It turned out to be a phase and she's now going off to sleep again just fine. I think we can all worry ourselves silly that we're creating 'bad habits' and even be too strict sometimes. I know sleep problems do happen but I wouldn't say that's the case with an under-six month old especially as she's sleeping well at night.

p.s. my dd really responded to having a v. special toy at bedtime.