Seperation anxiety and sleep

[Cordial]

My dd (15mo) has largely been a good sleeper with the usual occasional rubbish regression. But I am currently at a losses suddenly she is struggling with being left alone to go to sleep and is regularly waking in the night and seems to have forgotten how to settle herself.

When we go into see her she literally claws at us and shrieks if we try to go away even if she is calm.

Any ideas of coping strategies? I don't wNt to leave her crying for ages but I don't want to reenforce a bad.sleep message and I'm exhausted!

Also any tips on how far teething might be at play, i do t want her constantly dosed up on calpol but could that be the reason for the regular wake ups ? How do you tell?

Bump?

Your dd sounds like my DS but he is 12 months!
Well the HV told me to go in and reassure him he is ok pat him and stay with him until he is calm we tried this but he still freaks right out! So he ends up co sleeping DH and I both work full time so I can't really cope if I have to go in and calm him down 6 times a night!

With regards to teeth have you tried just calpol before bed to see if it makes a difference?

Oh sososotired are you me! Co sleeping had been Woking but now she is walking she just gets out if the bed I think I'm being overly worried about giving calpol too regularly plus she hates taking it.

I gave it in middle of night a few days back following the arrival foams zing dosing dummy!it worked so maybe I should be more confident with it.

She has gone down more easily the last 2 nights we have really darkened upstairs for longer at bed time and do lots of cuddling. Remains to be seen if it has the same effect on a none nursery day! But even so the anxiety is profound ...

Bloody auto correct!

I've tries to find more info on dr google about separation anxiety and the best thing I found was a lady that says not to worry about "bad sleep habits" like co sleeping while your child is anxious, so that's what I'm going by!

I feel the same as you about calpol but to be honest we have 4 teeth coming out at the same time so last night when the crying started I gave him calpol and settles him in our bed was the best night In weeks :)

How is your dd when you drop her off at nursery? Is she anxious then too?

My kids loved their night time cuddles at this age. We coslept with our children until they moved to their big bed ( very easy transition)

When they were young we had no tears, no bedtime tantrums, everyone slept like puppies and had a great nights rest.

I was given all the usual warnings - making a rod for my own back etc, but none of the horrors ever materialised.
Millions of families world wide and throughout history have slept with their children- to me it seems the most natural thing in the world.

I don't want to hijack the thread BUT combust22 how did you go about moving your lo's to their own beds?

soso- it was an easy and gradual process.

THe family bed remained open to them always and I think that helped, so they didn't feel they were bing pushed out. We set up toddler beds in their own rooms, which was exciting for them, with cuddly toys, story books and nice bedding. At first they would spend the odd night there, maybe once a week, i didn't worry about night creeping either- that was fine too.
Over 6 months or so they were spending 6 nights a week in ther own bed, and one in the family bed. By the time they were 4 then it was always their bed. I would encourage and be upbeat, but no negative pressure.

Ther were the odd occassion after that they would want to sleep in our bed for the night- if they had a bad dream, if they were cold or ill, if there was a storm, if my OH was away on business, or feeling in need of extra cuddles.

It was never a big deal, as long as everyone got a good nights sleep then I have always been very relaxed about night time parenting.

Moving to their own beds was an easy if gradual thing, but involved no tears, no restless nights, no angst, no drama.

Some of my most precious memories of that time are of us lying like a pile of puppies under the stars, cuddling, legs and arms entwined.

My kids are teenagers now and I can assure you they don't sleep with us!!

Thank you!! Sounds like the road we will be going down?

Who can say soso? it happened by accident to me this way, and I know it's not everyone's cup of tea.

It has worked brilliantly for us- despite all the warnings. I am no expert but just wanted to let you know that sometimes following our instincts is the best way to go. I see no harm, in fact I truly believe that co-sleeping has strengthened us as a family.
Now that my kids are teenagers I look back on those wonderous days and I am so glad I didn't follow the warnings that everyone gave me.

Good luck- whichever path you take.

She had bee fine at the nursery drop until this week - literally bounced in! We are finding that she is now wide awake for approx 3-4 hours in the middle of the night. She won't settle in our bed she simply gets up and crawls away! We have resorted to walking the streets in the middle of the night but last night even that failed! The screaming is ear piercing! It's like insomnia DH is now saying maybe she only needs 6 hours sleep but I don't think that can be right !

In now so tired work is impossible and I look a right state. Considered throwing money at a sleep consultant ! How are you getting on?

Could she be ready to drop or shortened her nap in the day?

She has already effectively dropped morning nap and the length of her afternoon nap varies hugely. This weekend she refused to take an afternoon one too I went in and out with shush pat for 1 1/2 hrs before finally admitting defeat! There is only so much screaming I can take! But at nursery and withMIL she will go out like a light apparently. I wS wondering if she was not sleeping enough in the day ! So many variables!!

So a slight improvement last night we have historically switched on hall light (mainly because I'm accident prone) but decided to maintain the darkness and I switched on classic fm and did some baby dancing! She still wouldn't go in cot but fell asleep on me and was awake 1.5 hrs rather than the normal 3.5 . A small victory or a new rod for my back let's see!

It's like my son gets up reads mums net and then follows suit!!
Last night he was sleeping with us (jabs the day before so his not all together well) he woke up screaming historically to the extent that I put near enough all the lights in the flat on and made him a bottle not that the lights helped Peppa pig DVD on in my room while feeding him calmed him down!

OP if you have a smart phone I found an app with classical baby music specifically for sleep times which might come in handy for you?

Ps I found with DS if he sleeps past 3 in the afternoon he is a nightmare at night!
And I put him down for a nap (put him down haha rock him to sleep) at 11 then generally sleeps 2 hours! They suggest that babies of this age should sleep 14hrs well I don't think we do at all!