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2 DC, both crappy sleepers. What can we do apart from mainlining coffee?

7 replies

ipswichwitch · 08/08/2014 11:28

I've posted before about DS1, 2.10yo and always been a crap sleeper. He had sleep apnoea caused by enlarged tonsils and adenoids, which he had removed 2 months ago. He always woke frequently through the night, usually whenever his breathing stopped. He'd wake screaming and terrified and need us to help settle him again. The apnoea has gone (yay!) but his sleep is still poor. No issues putting him to bed, but we still have to sit with him until he sleeps (tried gradual withdrawal but he got too distressed), and the same with each night waking. His consultant has refered him to the sleep clinic as he said the night wakings should have reduced/stopped now his breathing is ok. He has concerns that his lack of sleep will affect his growth and development (as do we); even poor DS gets upset saying he wants to sleep and told us this morning that he "can't sleep mammy" :(

DS2 is almost 8mo, and started quite well with sleep and self settling. Then the 4 month sleep regression happened. Now we put him to bed after bath and he always wakes about an hour later. When he does he screams like he's being murdered. It's horrific and so loud we can't leave him to settle again or he'll wake DS1. This keeps happening every hour so now he ends up sleeping downstairs until we go to bed, and he co-sleeps with us. He's been waking every 1-1.5 hours every night this week and will only settle with a feed, but he started crawling yesterday so the two may be linked. People keep saying just put him in his cot sleepy and leave him, but the shrieking starts. CC has wen suggested but again he will start shrieking and we can't risk waking DS1 as he needs every minute of sleep possible.

Frankly I'm on my knees with tiredness. DH too, and he's working. I start back at work in a week and really don't know what to do anymore. I'm now drinking coffee an eating revels (bad I know!) trying to get the energy to do the cleaning. What can we do?

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ipswichwitch · 08/08/2014 16:08

Anyone? I've drank way too much coffee and eaten a bag of revels already!

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Heels99 · 08/08/2014 16:13

Poor you it sounds awful, can they fast track the sleep clinic referal that really is your best option

ipswichwitch · 08/08/2014 16:19

The consultant said he'd ask in the referal to get us through ASAP. Let's hope it happens. I know with DS2 he's that age where he's teething and just started crawling so I hope that's why he's like this. I just don't know what to do about his bedtime. With the serious lack of sleep I value that couple of hours after kids bedtime and before mine more than ever, as we're just not getting it with DS2 waking literally within an hour of being put to bed most nights.

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LindaMcCartneySausage · 08/08/2014 16:26

I'm in the same position. DS2 (17m) has slept through the night twice. Ever. Usually he's up twice a night. Can't leave him to cry for very long - 5 mins usually - as he gets louder and louder and wakes up DS1 and our lovely, patient neighbours through the wall.

DS1 didn't sleep through until 18m. Now he's usually up once a night for a wee (needs help because the bathroom is on a different floor from his bedroom) so I'm always up twice a night. Yawn.

I work full time. Tis hard and the reason DH won't let me have a third DC - neither of us has had a full nights sleep in 4 years

ipswichwitch · 09/08/2014 09:30

A 3rd DC is definitely not an option for us either Linda. Any more sleep deprivation would kill us!

DS2 got his first tooth yesterday as well as sitting properly for the first time and crawling this week! Another awful night last night - I'm hoping that's why.

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Jonkastique · 09/08/2014 09:56

Could one of you take the older child away for a few nights and the other do something like pick up put down with the younger?

ipswichwitch · 09/08/2014 13:34

That could be an option Jonk
Only trouble being none of the family will have DS1 to stay - they say helpful things like "oh we can have him to stay when he sleeps through" Confused
I'm at the end of my maternity leave so we have no money for a travelodge until I'm back to work. If things no better I'll definitely consider it when I'm earning again.

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