Is 4 weeks old too young to self-soothe to sleep?

[annmarieandlily]

I have a beautiful 4 week old daughter and have already slipped into the routine of breastfeed/cuddle to sleep, put down, wakes up, breastfeed/cuddle to sleep, put down, wakes up and so on and so on until she stays asleep. This is manageable during the day but at night when waking every 2 hours it can then take me another 2 hours to get her back to sleep again! I feel that 4 weeks is too young for her to learn to go to sleep on her own but am I being naive? Have tried swaddling which she hates I'm afraid. Any advice would be gratefully received!

Yes ann,waaaaaaaaay too young.
They are like this at first.

Why not sleep with her (as long as you haven't been drinking/taking drugs)
Many people find it a lot easier.

Yes 4 weeks is too young. I was really sure that I wanted DS to be able to self soothe to sleep,but he was at least 4/5 months before he was able to be put down awake and go off to sleep by himself.
At this age she is just wondering where you have gone when you put her down and crying for you is her natural instinct and self survival on her part to make sure you're there.
Although it's exhausing now it will get better.

Thanks moondog and lovelybird - already feel better! Its just that certain books say that I should be doing things differently (patting, shushing to sleep etc) but my instincts tell me she is too young and just needs the reassurance.

Do you have any tips for getting a sleeping, cosy, cuddled baby back into her basket without waking?!

Ann,if we had the answer to that,we'd be rich.

Try cuddling in a blanket so that you can transfer baby in it,or alternatively,warm the vcot with a hot water bottle (but take it out first!)

Is she in a gro-bag? We always found that dd transferred much more easily back to her moses basket or cot after feeding if she was in gro bag because her body temperature remained constant all the time. You can now get them for babies who are 7lbs or more.

Put a hot water bottle in the basket when you take her out to feed her, then take it out just before you put her back - this worked with both mine as the coldness of the sheet didn't wake them up (cos it was warm!).

Also try putting her in a sleeping bag as she'll be more cosy.

(I've just fed DS2 to sleep for his nap because it's easier ).

Yes have a grobag - but as the temperature has been quite warm over the past few nights (24 degrees in our room) I've been concerned that she's getting too hot. A bit cooler now so will try again and also give the hot water bottle a try - sounds lovely - wish someone would do that for me in my bed...

it is absolutely too young.

Have you tried co-sleeping? Even if you don't want to do in long term, maybe for a few weeks to get you some sleep?

She is absolutely tiny still, and what she is doing is completely normal and actually waaaaay better than either of my kids did, so congratuations, but I suspect YOU are shattered and need sleep.

I used a swinging crib which was great for just rocking them back to sleep.

dd is 4 weeks and manages it more often than not, sometimes with one soothing pick-up from me or dh. I pretty much know her 'sleepy signs' and if I do mis-read them then it doesn't take long for me to twig that I've got it wrong. Have been doing it since she was about 10 days old. Maybe we are just lucky.

if she wakes when you put her down, try stroking her face from her forehead down the length of her her nose gently. That makes then shut their eyes again. Even more effective when you pop a clean pinky in the mouth

Oh, yes, I still do that with DS2, Mears - the nose stroking thing. It's magical. If DS2 won't settle to sleep when I'm feeding him in the evening, I stroke down his nose. Sounds like I have a foal not a baby! LOL!

YES far too young

you're doing exactly the right thing .. keep at it

and congratulations on your new daughter

One thing I found very quickly with DS was if I transferred him to his crib too soon after he fell asleep (on the boob) he wasnt quite in a deep enough sleep & invariably woke again. We found that by making sure he was in a deeper sleep, maybe waiting for a few minutes or so until his breathing slowed down & he looked more zonked out it was usually a lot easier to put him down.

I was wondering the same too - our son is four weeks. I was really strict with DS2's bedtime routine and self-settling after completely messing up with poor DS1, but I think I will relax a bit with DS3 and not start until 3 months (I seem to remember that's when the health visitor said it is important that they start to learn). Even then, I think I'll still feed him to sleep sometimes because I think it's important that they can get back to sleep on their own, rather than necessarily doing it every time.

hth

Crayon