new mum,new to mumsnet,sad,bad night

[violeteyes]

ds is 5 weeks and has so far been (mostly)an easy baby which has been especially good for my confidence as due to long term depressive illness was told am at high risk of pnd. so far so good on this, despite withdrawing off treatment myself before birth so ds didn't have to-v.proud of this as was tough, and when tried to come off 3 years ago became seriously ill indeed.
anyway, till now ds mostly sleeping 7pmish to 6-7amish consistantly, with predictable 20min feeds around 12 and 3.last 3 nights been waking up every couple of ours.feel am going backwards and is disturbing dh which so far have mostly avoided. probably sounds like fuss about nothig but biggest problem is that i am not sleeping between feeds and am lying there with negative thoughys about cot death,being bad mum,wife,person etc. ds makes godawful noises in sleep which are getting worse-sounds like some old mans death rattle intersperced with choking and squeaking. does noy have cold or anything like that as far as i can tell.is this normal baby noise?

ds bf, swaddled sleeps on back foot to foot in cot next to me, needs help to sleep in day, feeds well but spaced in day, good weight gain, don't think much changed? sorry to moan but need advice.

Sorry to hear you feel so bad at night, but it sounds like you're doing everything right with your baby. Babies do make strange noises at night and this is perfectly normal. It could be that your baby is going through a growth spurt, causing him to wake up at night. It's also normal for a new mum to worry about cot death. Can you talk to anyone about how you feel?

Around 6 weeks babies go through this feeding nightmare. I think it is related to a growth spurt. I remember my nipples being sore, and feeding around the clock. I think I cried a lot and dispaired that I was running out of milk.

Babies make awful noises. I remember elephant noises, crow squarks, snuffles and coughs. I couldn't put up with DD in the same room for long!
It is hard to sleep when you fear for their health. I think insomnia is quite common, although unbelievable considering how tired you get!! I had a friend who would take baths at 2am in hopes of getting sleepy.

It will get better again. You are doing really well.
Also remember that if your DH gets interrupted, so be it. You have a new baby, he can't expect life not to change!

Just hold on for another couple of weeks violet, babies sleeping patterns are not at all predictable in the first couple of months. The noises you are describing sound perfectly normal to me, my two sounded like darth vader when they slept at first. You sound as though you are doing really well and you know yourself which is going to make things a bit easier.

Try to get some sleep during the day if someone can look after your baby for a couple of hours. Don't feel bad about going on the ad's again, it doesn't make you a bad person if you need a bit of help. I find moodgym helpful for negative thoughts - especially in the middle of the night.

good luck.

just wanted to add my support violet, this stage is really hard. i struggled to sleep when my children were in my bedroom, every little noise woke me up just in case they wanted feeding. if you are worrying about dh being woken im not surprised you are awake all night! could he help on the nights he is not at work? or how would you feel about having ds in another room for a night or two? if he cries you will still hear him.

i spent several days in pyjamas at this stage and just slept on the sofa every time baby had a nap. dont feel bad about it, anyone who has kids has been there and anyone who hasnt doesnt know what its like! good luck, you sound like you are doing realy well

thanks everyone-feel much better in the light of day.could also be because have had some sleep while son with dh!am going to sleep in spare room tonight to break cycle.will be taping ds's noises for future embaressment moments too!

violet, I remember when my ds was very little posting worried sick about the noises he was making. They do make noises which ca be very frightening to a new mum. However my ds is now 16 months and very healthy indeed, so try not to worry too much.

I hate to say it but they do sometimes 'regress' (for want of a better word) sleep-wise. ds woke up very frequently for months and months. Try and sleep when your baby sleeps - stuff the housework! If you find yourself lying awake and worrying, try and become very still, concentrate on your breathing and different parts of your body in turn and imagine them becoming very warm and heavy.

Very very well done for what you have achieved - feel very proud of yourself. But if you cannot manage without, there is no shame whatsoever in going back on bf-compatible ADs. The important thing is to keep you healthy and capable of enjoying your lovely baby.

All the very best

DD was the same with the weird noises. I was reluctant to move her into her own room, so I kept her next to my in her moses basked, but I used soft foam earplugs, which meant that I could still hear her, when she cried or woke for a feed, but if I was actually sleeping then I wasn't woken by every snuffle or peep.

i could not believe some of the noises dd made when she was wee... DH and I used to seize each other in the middle of the night going 'did you just hear that?' and we would peek in to her hammock to check she was still alive. she's nine months now and i still get panicked every so often and have to go in to check she's breathing. i think it is completely 100% normal, from what i've read on here, so i try not to get stressed about it.
you sound like you have a great deal to be proud of yourself for, well done, and if you decide you need those ADs again then they will be there to help you if the time comes.