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Early mornings!

24 replies

kip · 21/03/2002 18:58

My 18 mnth old who used to sleep until 7:30am has recently started waking at 5:30, she is loud(!) and this is disturbing the rest of the family, we are all absolutely exhausted.
She doesn't appear to be hungry and waits quite happily for breakfast at the usual time. I've tried leaving her in her cot and giving her a bottle of water, a dummy and changing her soggy nappy, all to no avail, she just wants to be up.
All suggestions would be very welcome.

OP posts:
Pupuce · 21/03/2002 19:57

I have the exact same problem and have followed Gina Ford's advice (from the Q&As seesion on this site- look under other).
It has worked really well.
The secret is to be VERY consistent.
DS who was always up at 715 just started waking up at 615.... and we've been doing it for 5 days now- It has improved though it was bad this AM (I think DD's cough woke him up).

buttercup · 21/03/2002 20:08

I dont what GF's advice is but we have tried with some success going in to our ds five minutes later every day. We have managed to move his waking up time from 5.30am to 6am which is still pretty early but much more bearable (at least its light!)

Harrysmum · 21/03/2002 22:26

Kip - very spooky! Our 17 1/2 month ds has just this week started doing the same thing. Until now he has been the perfect GF baby (better really since he would sleep until c.7.45am having gone to bed at 7pm and had a sleep after lunch - couldn't ask for better). Having had it so good I'm not coping with these early starts. Have so far just lain and listened despairingly but if I keep on doing that our upstairs neighbours will phone social services before long - he has a good line in a very loud, angry, insistent squeal. we are off to JL this w/end to buy a black-out blind to see if these light mornings are what has tipped the balance. Other than that all suggestions gratefully received and will look at the Q&A thing.

Pupuce · 22/03/2002 16:10

I have "msiled" Kip... Here is the GF stuff - it wasn't under "other"... I did find it useful (and my son has made progress within days). The 2nd and 3rd questions are the most relevant one.
The core of the answer is this :
When they wake up and get out of bed, I take them straight back to their bed, apart from saying schh schh it night time I never get involved in conversation. I usually have to repeat this procedure dozens of times each morning for a couple of weeks until they realise that they do not get up until the light is on. With some I would sit on a chair next to the bed until they went back to sleep even if it took an hour. I can't stress the importance of being consistent with taking them back to bed and not getting into a conversation or putting on the light.

But here is the full set !

Early waking - what can you do?

Choc: The time that my baby (10Months) wakes up bears no relation to the time that he goes to bed, or the amount of sleep that he has during the day. When he is at home with me, he follows your routines, but when he is at nursery his sleep is a bit more random. His wake up time is consistently between 6.45am and 7.00am - I am desperate to find a way to make this a bit later on special occasions (such as New Year's day!)

Gina: With eighty per cent of children still waking once or twice a night at one year of age I think your little boy is a star sleeping until nearer 7am every morning. All I can suggest at this age is that you arrange to leave him over night with his grandparents or close friends if you need a longer lie in. Once he gets a bit older most children can be persuaded or bribed to play in their room until the parents get up.

More early waking...

Cath: My 21 month old son Oliver goes to bed at 8pm-10pm every night depending on whether he has had his 1 hour nap through the day. Great routine. But he wakes up at 5am every morning and that is it he just wants to be up. However, within an hour he is asleep on the lounge floor for anything from 1-2 hours. My husband and I are wrecked. Any suggestions?

Gina: I find that toddlers who have such a late bedtime as your son's tend to wake up very early and not go back to sleep. I think it is probably due to the fact that when they are tiny they learn to only sleep when they are exhausted instead of when they are tired. Falling asleep through exhaustion, they tend to go into a very deep sleep in the earlier part of the night, waking fully refreshed and raring to go at 5am. I have solved this problem on a number of occasions but it does take a great deal of determination. When they wake up and get out of bed, I take them straight back to their bed, apart from saying schh schh it night time I never get involved in conversation. I usually have to repeat this procedure dozens of times each morning for a couple of weeks until they realise that they do not get up until the light is on. With some I would sit on a chair next to the bed until they went back to sleep even if it took an hour. I can't stress the importance of being consistent with taking them back to bed and not getting into a conversation or putting on the light.

More early waking...

Pop: I read and often referred to your first book. My son is 15 months old and has a regular bedtime of 7.00pm. He often wakes at 5.00 but obviously does not want to be awake. He will not, however, go back to sleep however long we leave him. We have tried controlled crying etc. but he seems to be in such a light sleep by this time that anything wakes him and he will not go back to sleep. He has a nap after lunch of about an hour and a half. Do you think these early mornings will stop when he is walking? Have you any helpful hints on how to combat them?

Gina: The fact that your son does not want to be awake at 5am and sleeps later some mornings means it is very possible that he may start to go later when he begins to walk. In the meantime I would suggest that you keep a 24 hour diary of everything your son eats and drinks detailing quantities and types of food and the times they were consumed, also the times of his bowel movements each day.

It will also be helpful to list his social activities as you may find that he sleeps longer in the days he has been more physically active. With many children of this age I find that the early morning waking is related to their diet. Listed below are some examples of what I have found to be a major cause of early morning waking with children of your son's age.

  • Although parents are advised to abandon all bottles by the age of one year I find many parents continue to give a bottle last thing at night and first thing in the morning. At this age a very large bottle at bedtime could result in a very wet nappy in the morning, causing him to be unsettled when he comes into his light sleep. You do not mention what you do with your son when he wakes up but if you are immediately giving him a bottle or a drink of milk, then you are teaching him to be hungry at that time, which could be another reason for the early waking.
  • If your son is waking up with a poo in his nappy, or does one very shortly after he awakes that could be the cause, as it indicates that his digestive system is starting to work in the middle of the night. I often find that too much fruit in the late afternoon or protein at tea-time can cause this.

How you deal with these early morning wakings could also be the cause of the problem. Any wakings before 7am are best treated the same as middle of the night wakings, no lights and very little or no talking. If you are taking him into your bed or talking to him, then he is bound to associate his waking with starting the day.

If you are sure you have tried the controlled crying properly I would suggest that you use the same approach that I suggested for Cath. Because he is still very young I think it would probably work but you must allow at least two weeks and be consistent in your approach.

bayleaf · 24/03/2002 13:11

Thanks for that 'cut and stick' Pupuce - as a gf fan I looked for her advice when you mentioned it under the 'clocks going forward' thread and couldn't find anything relevant - I've printed out the passages now and will analyse my next move this afternoon as we're still on the 5.30 waking !
I've also ''called in'' my Richard Ferber which was out on loan!

Rozzy · 24/03/2002 20:42

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Rozzy · 25/03/2002 08:06

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Batters · 25/03/2002 10:56

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Pupuce · 25/03/2002 11:55

I have cracked it !!!
Actually DH and I have come to the conclusion that both our children are currently waking up earlier because of the light. They both have black out linings and it is quite dark but still some light is coming through. And anyway, if you look at how many of us are experiencing this - every year at the same time....
So from now on, WE will be going to bed earlier (as much as possible) and be up and ready to go at 6AM rather than moan from 6 (when we are awaken anyway) until 7AM .... when we consider it OK for them to get up.
DD is actually no fuss at all but DS makes a huge amount of noise so we might as well get up and start our day. They will also go to bed 30 minutes earlier.
If they get up at 630 or 7, it will be a lye-in for us !

Lil · 25/03/2002 15:59

Pupuce, totally agree about the light getting into the room as most of my friends are having early waking children at the moment too.. BUT WAIT... next weekend clocks go forward so 6am will be 7am, excellent - clever little things, we should be praising them I think!!

Rozzy · 25/03/2002 16:54

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manna · 25/03/2002 19:07

pupuce - in anticipation of this very thing, for several weeks now there have been lengths of mdf lying in the hall. Yes - it's time to make my own pelmet! (It think that's what it's called?) Gina recommends them, but I sneered at them until ds started waking 6ish. Sleeping in there one morning I noticed light streaming in where the curtains meet, round the edges and from the top.So - I'm primed and ready to go. Measure the windows, get two lenths cut as well as 2 end bits to fit. Also 2 tiny bits to attach to inside edge to put screws into wall. A lick of primer, white paint, a couple of screws and you're away. Until I actually get round to it I have stuffed towels into the top of the curtains - very effective. Did I mentioned the end bits to make the curtains stay at the ends of the runners? And the velcro (yes, I know!) that now fastens the curtains together.....? Do you think I might be a little obsessive? Still - I have to wake ds now every morning

Pupuce · 25/03/2002 21:14

Lil get real... that's only going to solve the problem for a month but it will come back

Rozzy : Tape them !!!

Manna : Obsessed you are but aren't we all with the precious sleep

bayleaf · 25/03/2002 21:14

Now this might seem a bit too good to be true.... but having armed myself with gf's advice courtesy of Pupuce I was all ready to 'go for it' on the ''she WILL sleep later'' front - yesterday I avoided fruit at teatime and had protein at lunch not tea - gave only small drink before bedtime - and bless her she slept till 7am - AND it was my birthday today !! Maybe she knew!
I can't quite believe it'll last - but here's hoping!

Pupuce · 25/03/2002 21:24

Well done Bayleaf - Keep us posted - BTW did you see my comment to you under "Can you have it all?"

Pupuce · 25/03/2002 21:24

Oh and HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!!!!

Rozzy · 25/03/2002 21:45

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Pupuce · 25/03/2002 21:48

Rozzy, I know what you mean going to bed early and unable to fall asleep cheeky you !

If you tape... you can watch at 6 AM !!!!!

Rozzy · 25/03/2002 21:58

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bayleaf · 26/03/2002 13:19

Hi Pupuce - firstly thanks for your comments on 'can you have it all?' - hopefully I've got it 'covered' - am forking out ridiculous amounts of money for the Zita West supplements at the moment as previously I was taking everything I had read could help ( and believe me the list was long!) as separate supplements and there were just SO many pills to take it was quite ridiculous - at least with the ZW pills quite a lot of the thngs are combined in one pill - tho at a price!( about £50 a month)

This am she let out a quick shout at 6am then was silent till 6.30 - which wasn't bad compared with how she'd been!
Thank you for your birthday wishes _ I had a wonderful day shopping in Milton Keynes of all places - I'd never been before but is exactly half way between Leicester where I live and Surrey where my closest friend lives.

Best of luck with your career change Pupuce - It must really take some guts to do what you've done and make a complete change - especially where there's a radical change in salary - Hope it all goes well...

WHIGERS · 26/03/2002 13:55

yesterday I covered my dd window with dustbin liners as I was suspisious that the easly sunrise had somthing to do with the 5.30 starts. The room was really dark and she slept till 6.50am!! :-)
We will see is it happens agian. I took her swimming yesterday so it might just be that she was v tired. Well let you know how tonight goes. fingers crossed.

kizzie · 26/03/2002 14:45

Sorry to hijack this thread but it is vaguely relevant. My twins (3) have also been waking up v early (about quarter to 6) for the last couple of weeks. You'd think it was due to the light mornings BUT they have the light on all night (so i don't see how it makes any difference.) I;ve tried over and again to get them to sleep in the dark but they literally scream and scream for hours. I've tried lamps but they alwasy know the difference and want the big light on. I'm thinking of trying a lamp again and starting with a high wattage and then slowly reducing the wattage over a couple of weeks to make the room gradually darker. Apart from anything else I'm worried about their eyesight. I'm sure it can't be good for them. Anyone else had a similar experience?

Enid · 26/03/2002 14:48

kizzie, have you thought about a dimmer switch? Dd insists on having the big light on as she goes to sleep but I sneak in and dim it down once shes dropped off. She doesnt seem to mind in the night, in fact I turn it off completely when I go to bed.

Hilary · 28/03/2002 23:00

I have no pearls of wisdom but would just like to say that this thread is helpful in just knowing that there are other households within which 6am is considered a lie-in!

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