I have seven weeks before I need to leave my co-sleeper overnight. Help me to make a plan.

[HamAndPlaques]

At the end of August I will be leaving DD overnight for the first time, with my parents. She will have turned one a couple of weeks earlier. I have left her during the day with them on a couple of occasions and she has been absolutely fine but an evening and day may prove more tricky.

She is currently breastfed to sleep for all naps and overnight sleeps, and has two naps a day. She goes down at night between 7 and 8, typically wakes once or twice in the evening, and is boobed back to sleep. She then co-sleeps and sleeps through 11-6, typically. When she first wakes in the morning she has a quick feed and then sleeps until about 8. This has all suited us just fine until now but in addition to the night away I am going back to work in September and she will need to learn to settle for her daytime nap at nursery.

Has anyone left their baby in similar circumstances and would be willing to share their strategies? I should add that we are going to be moving house at the beginning of August so there is a further challenge there. I'm aware that the big thing to change is feed to sleep. My mum or my sister could co-sleep with her if necessary but they obviously can't bf her. I'm not willing to consider CC but I am open to other suggestions.

Any advice is gratefully received.

I'm doing the same at the moment, bf/co sleeper. No idea what I'm doing really, but here's what I've done so far & plan to do.

Stopped feeding right to sleep. It's the only way to crack it IMHO. I now feed ds in cot next to bed (side off) til he's calm, unlatch & lie quietly next to him, perhaps hand on back or shushing til he nods off after a wriggle & grumble. It took 2 weeks to get that far, mainly as I can't bear the crying. He was fuming for the first few days then just got on with it, he now unlatches himself & lies humming for 10 mins before nodding off.

Strangely, morning nap is non negotiable at the moment & we're still feeding back to sleep.

I feed him when I go to bed, put him back in cot. EVERY TIME. You may have to put the side on if LO won't stay in! Set a time that you insist they stay in cot, when they wake, soothe & back in cot until you reach that time eg 3am then co sleep. Once that time is achieved relatively consistently, move it on an hour or 2 or 3 til you achieve all night. Perhaps DH could do some resettling and bedtimes so it's not always you?

Sounds easy, right?! My ds isn't pleased at all, but we are getting there. It's been a few steps forward then more back & so on.

You could get a quicker resolution I suspect if you can handle more crying. I am happy co sleeping but stupid work is going too wreck it (shifts). So hard isn't it?

I did almost exactly what you're doing, but with twins!

I coslept and fed them to sleep at nap times, bedtime and whenever they woke in the night.

I went back to work when they were one, and they went to nursery several days a week and to my mum the other days. They just went to sleep without boob when they weren't with me, whether at nap time or bedtime, with water or cows milk on offer in a sippy cup. They then fed a lot during the night to get their breastmilk in.

Just after I went back to work I went away for one night. My mum stayed with them, put them to bed with sippy cups of milk, and then just cuddled and offered milk from the cup in the night. They muddled through with lots of cuddles.

I wouldn't worry about trying to change anything unless you want to change things anyway. Your mum and your baby will muddle through, as will nursery. They'll find their own ways of doing things.

I have a similar report to HappyAs but with DSs 1 + 2.

They both napped at nursery without issue from 12 months when I returned to work and had successful sleepovers at their grandparents house.
They may have been slightly older for sleepovers but were still bf / co sleeping and they slept with my Mum who reported a bit of middle of the night 'rummaging' but that they settled quite happily when they realised breastmilk wasn't on offer.

I too didn't change our usual routine and was amazed how adaptable they are to a change in routine but reluctant to change when I am around