Absolutely dread bedtime - exhausted - please help

[goofygoober]

DS has never slept the night. He turns 3 soon and was EBF for 6 months, we continued to BF until he was 2.5. I know this caused a lot of issues because he wouldn't put himself to sleep.

We have a routine, he has his stories, lies in his bed and will eventually drift off with hand holding. However, lately he says he hates going to bed, so the struggle starts early.

Once asleep, he will be fine for up to 4 hours. I try to settle him back to sleep - mostly unsuccessfully. He ends up in our bed. DH has tried to settle him, but he screams for me. I try whatever I can to keep him quiet, because we have older DCs and they need to sleep.

In our bed, he has vivid - shouting dreams and will do this 2/3 times a night. Now he has started screaming the place down for up to 20 mins at a time. There is nothing I can do to settle him. Eventually, he just stops. It is heartbreaking and I normally end up in tears too.

I am about to have DC4, and I am wrung out. I never get a good stretch of sleep. I am also panicking about how to cope with a newborn in the mix. Today I feel so low and tearful.

Apologies for the very long post. I just don't know what to do and dread going to bed.

Hi,

You must be truly exhausted!

It sounds like your child maybe suffering from what is known as night terrors - not harmful so don't worry.

see here

• kidshealth.org/parent/medical/sleep/terrors.html#

• www.nhs.uk/conditions/night-terrors/Pages/Introduction.aspx

These two sites give quite good advice on what to do.

It also sounds like there are two issues here: firstly, the fact that he will wake up after 4 hours while in his room and won't settle until he is in your bed and secondly that once he is in your bed he gets the night terrors.

Is this correct?

If so, then pick one of the concerns and deal with it first and then tackle the other one once this is done.

I would suggest first dealing with getting him to settle and sleep in his room because once this is done successfully then the night terrors while in your room might not be an issue because he just won't be there:-)

It sounds like you have your bedtime routing more or less done so my questions to you are what time does he go to bed and is he over tired when he finally gets to bed?

Thanks.

Soila

Thanks Soila, yes they do seem to be night terrors. He goes to bed at around 7, and will be asleep in about 40 mins, sometimes sooner. He's very active throughout the day and I do try to get him to have a nap at some point. He won't always be interested. I will keep reading the info you have linked to. Thank you.

Oh bless you. Sounds so tough!

I came across this on another thread and it's helping my DD over a blip! try it here
Also someone recommended Balance oil by Doterra.

These two things could help along with the above advice. Fingers crossed for you!

Good luck! The acupressure technique sounds amazing!

I have a very similar ds. Didn't sleep through at all until he was 18 months old and up until very recently (he's almost three) we had issues with frequent waking and night terrors.

From what I understand, the night terrors upset us more than them - my ds doesn't seem to remember his the next morning - so try not to panic about them, although I know that's easier said than done. Our doctor recommended Belladonna (herbal remedy) which did seem to work.

Our biggest breakthrough has been totally accidental though. We've just moved him to a new bedroom to make way for new baby ( due soon) and he's slept through every night he's been there. Incredible! We think he's just so excited about his 'big boy bed' and having input into what his room looks like that even when he wakes at night he feels safe and content so goes back to sleep. I realise moving rooms isn't a practical solution, but getting him to choose new bedding, decorations etc might be?